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The Frank Report · Aug 24, 2026

Old Bill’s Gender Top Trumps

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Frank Haviland · The Frank Report

Part of the romantic nostalgia of England is the classic image of the Bobby on the beat: the no-nonsense copper, respected by all and feared by the nefarious few. Police television dramas have relied heavily upon this sentiment, as witnessed in Dixon of Dock Green, Heartbeat and Inspector George Gently. Fast forward a few decades, and that respect is gone. Confidence in the police is at or around an all-time low; police morale is similarly afflicted. Ninety-five percent of crime in England goes unpunished, to the extent that the public has simply given up reporting it. I think we can hazard a guess as to why that might be.

I’d say there were three aggravating factors in Plod’s demise. Firstly, there’s the fact that the Old Bill unofficially took early retirement around a decade ago - deciding that certain “low-level” crimes like shoplifting, car crime and criminal damage were not a sensible use of police resources. That may or may not be fairly attributed to government funding cuts, but as many people have argued it’s basically a green light to the Fagins of this world. Secondly, there’s the deep-rooted and valid public concerns over two-tier policing - world’s away from the original Peelian Principle of impartiality.

The final part of the police’s fall from grace can, I think, be explained by the constabulary’s focus on everything except crime (to borrow a line from the great Mark Steyn). Whether that’s the zealous pursuit and punishment of those sending the ‘wrong’ tweets, uttering the ‘wrong’ pronouns, or thinking the ‘wrong’ thoughts, those who argue England’s police forces have been ideologically captured are hardly on shaky ground.

The latest example of this nonsense policing, is the decision to issue ‘gender-fluid’ police officers with both male and female warrant cards - the official documentation officers must present to the public before the use of certain powers, such as stop and search. The flippancy in terms of law enforcement was perfectly captured by The Telegraph, who broke the story, in their explanation of the rationale behind the move: “so that (officers) can identify as a man one day and a woman the next.” Any serving officers who fail to take such guidance seriously, are swiftly removed from post. Rachel Fletcher, a female detective commended for her role in jailing a prolific paedophile, was dismissed and placed on a misconduct blacklist for referring to ‘transwomen’ as “cocks in frocks”.

If, as a police officer and an official of the State, you are primarily concerned with manoeuvring yourself centre stage rather than the victim, the perpetrator, or the law, then I suggest you are doing it wrong. The feelings of police officers ought to be (nay, must be) entirely independent of the discharge of their duties. “Without fear or favour” so the line goes; like Lady Justice, law enforcement is supposed to be blind. Regrettably, this has not been the case of late. Whether it’s the heavy-handed policing of autistic teenagers who think you look like “lesbian nana”, the wrongful arrest of Cody Harper (whose crime appears to have been getting assaulted by a bunch of black kids), or the tragic murder of Henry Nowak - police impartiality is firmly in the dock.

This narcissistic self-obsession with optics over objectivity has brought us a smorgasbord of performative policing, none of which has the slightest bearing on crime reduction: male officers in high heels, officers twerking at the Notting Hill Carnival (while serious crime gets an amnesty), Pride flags and parades, LGBTQwerty cars, and kowtowing to sharia courts.

Policing demands accurate assessment of reality: appearance, height, weight, age, skin colour, and gender - of which there are only two. What good are officers who can’t even be relied upon to identify themselves on any given day? Any serving police man or woman who rejects the reality of their own bodies, can be nothing but a liability in an emergency situation. Warrant cards are legal instruments of authority after all, not the adult version of Guess Who.

Of the UK’s 43 constabularies, Suffolk, Norfolk and Leicestershire have already confirmed the issuance of more than one warrant card to officers claiming to be ‘gender-fluid’. Other forces are understood to have such policies in place, should the need arise. I cannot help wondering, about the possibly strong inverse correlation between a force’s willingness to engage in such buffoonery, and its utter lack of efficacy when it comes to catching criminals. Sadly, no police force has investigated such a correlation. They have however, issued this guidance on Trans Equality at Work:

“The organisation will be able to issue dual or multiple cards for those who are transitioning or are gender-fluid if this is specifically requested. If an individual does transition fully to their chosen gender then they must relinquish their dual cards so that a single card can be issued in their chosen identity. Individuals transitioning may also want to change their collar or pay number, and should be consulted as to their preference.”

As further reported in The Telegraph:

“The policy also allows officers to “wear items that assist in their gender confirmation/identity according to their needs, eg wearing a wig, prosthetics, binders” and warns officers against “dead-naming” their colleagues.”

Perhaps in the interests of ‘inclusion’, the police should allow any ‘trans-criminals’ to access the dressing up box too?

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Frank Haviland is the Editor of The New Conservative, and the author of Banalysis: The Lie Destroying the West.

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