Alpine Divorce: It’s Not Just on Mountains

I came out of the toilet expecting to see the man I was with close by.
He wasn’t.
I looked everywhere, but I couldn’t see him.

Panic set in. The club was starting to empty and I realised I’d been left. Abandoned.

I was 20, alone at 3am, no money, no way of getting home, and I didn’t even know where I was.

I started crying. I didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t believe he did that to me.

I first came across the phrase “Alpine divorce” recently.

It’s a term that has been circulating on social media for some time, describing situations where women are abandoned by their male partners during a hike or outdoor activity, often in remote or unfamiliar areas.

The term has exploded across social media, following the recent case of a man convicted of manslaughter after leaving his girlfriend alone on a mountain where she froze to death. During his trial, an ex-girlfriend gave evidence that he had previously left her on the same mountain in 2023 because he felt she was too slow.

Since then, hundreds, if not thousands of women have shared their own experiences of being left behind by partners whilst hiking, and it’s really disturbing. There is even a support group for women who have experienced it.

Hiking enthusiast Laurie Singer became unwell whilst hiking with a close male friend, she couldn’t keep up with him. He suggested they part ways. He left her with a protein bar and even offloaded his rubbish onto her to lighten his bag. Alone and seriously ill she feared for her life. Luckily, she met a couple who helped her to safety.

The reasons people give as to why their partners have done this vary. Some describe partners who became impatient, others felt it was about competitiveness, control or simply a lack of empathy. Some believe that their partners/ husbands have done it on purpose in order to end the relationship, which is so cowardly.

As I listened to story after story, I realised I’d experienced my own version of an Alpine divorce.

It just didn’t happen on a mountain, it happened in a nightclub.

I was 20 and seeing this guy, he was a friend of a friend. We’d had a few dates and I’d stayed over at his house a few times. One night we decided to go clubbing. I thought we were having a good time.

I went to the loo, and when I came back out I couldn’t find him anywhere.

It wasn’t long before I realised I’d been abandoned. I felt scared and vulnerable, I was furious.

It was around 3am, I had no idea where I was, somewhere South of the River. I’d expected to go home with him that night.

I had no money left, there were no mobile phones back then, no night tubes, no Oyster cards, no Ubers, no way of getting home.

I started crying as I walked out of the club and started walking, I had no idea where I was going. I just kept walking until I found a high street. There weren’t many people around and I didn’t really know what to do.

I approached a group of people about my age. I was clearly upset and it was obvious I had been crying. I explained what had happened and asked if I could borrow some money, promising I would post it back if they gave me their home address.

A few of them were hesitant and said no immediately. One man in the group offered me £10, but I heard someone say, “You won’t get that back, don’t give it to her.”

He did anyway and he wrote his home address down on a piece of paper and handed it to me. Two days after my horrific experience, I bought a thank you card. I put £10 cash in it and sent it to the guy. I have no idea if he received it, although I like to think he did and told all his sceptical mates.

That £10 got me a black cab to his flat. It wasn’t enough to get me all the way back to Wembley, or I would have gone straight home.

His flatmates let me in. I was hysterical and caused a scene, screaming at him.

I slept on the sofa that night, and my best friend came to collect me the next morning.

And that was the end of that.

He never really had an explanation and to be honest I didn’t need one.
He had put me in a vulnerable position, and I never imagined in a million years he would leave me alone at 3am in the middle of a place I did not know, with no money.

It was a lesson I learnt and probably a reason why today, I always make sure I have cash on me as well as a debit card. As soon as my daughter was old enough, I set her up with an Uber account. My son has one too.

Women are taught from childhood not to walk home alone, stay in pairs when out, and you never ever leave your mate behind. It’s a moral rule among women.

But I’ve often wondered if men are taught the same in reverse. Women grow up being taught to think about their own safety and the safety of the women they're with. I don't think men grow up with those same messages, because they simply don't face the same level of risk.

I don't think that, on nights out, men say, "We all need to stick together and make sure everyone gets home safely," in the way women so often do. Correct me if I'm wrong.

Don't leave your partner stranded. Make sure she gets home safely. Walk her to a taxi. It’s the decent thing to do, no?1

But obviously not, judging by the number of stories surrounding the phenomenon of “Alpine Divorce.”

I think that’s why I found it so shocking.

A woman would never do that to another woman.

And I do wonder how many women have a story like this.

• Have you heard of “Alpine divorce” before reading this?

• Has something like this ever happened to you?

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Francis xxx