Where Are You Going This Summer? Nowhere

Hey lovely friends, It’s my birthday this week! I would usually brush over that, not make a fuss, I’ll plan my summer holiday around this time so as not to ‘bother’ anyone with what to do for my ‘big’ day as I won’t be here! How considerate of me.

Not this year, this year I’m turning 46, the older I get the more I’m starting to consider myself (crone years?). My inner child may actually deserve to be celebrated and there I was telling her she wasn’t worth the trouble.

So I sat quietly and thought about what I really wanted to do, it didn’t take me long: visit my mom’s grave followed by watch my favourite film (Cinema Paradiso- an emotional rollercoaster that transports me back to Sicily set to THE MOST beautiful music by Ennio Moriconne I have ever heard) with my daughter (who is 15 and not actually happy with the idea but has said she will accommodate) eating my all time favourite cookies (food has to be involved and these cookies are something else- I’ve shared the recipe at the end). That is it, that is all and I can not wait. Happy Birthday to ME.

Sitting in my kitchen getting my hair trimmed my hairdresser asked “so where are you going this summer”? I keep getting asked this question. What do you have booked? Nothing, nowhere. It felt awkward saying it out loud, that’s not what people want or expect to hear, kind of cutting the conversation off dead and leaving them worried for me.

It’s a strange answer for someone who loves to travel, you’d usually find me in Sicily, Ischia, Capri or Positano. The only year - in my life- I have not been abroad was when Covid grounded all flights.

And I’ve noticed the posts rolling in, everyone away in beautiful destinations.

Things are changing and for one reason or another I’m not flying off this summer.

Slight problem when half my time is spent showing my life on Instagram and a big part of that is my summer adventures, how I’m styling the jewellery (my brand Soru’s account is my main gig!) while I'm away is all part of it, but also where I’m stopping, what I'm doing. Me stuck at home in my sweats just isn’t going to cut it.

People have been looking at me like I’ve gone crazy when I say I don’t know. I don’t have anything booked. I look at myself a little like I’ve gone crazy too.

Can I really last a whole Summer without a reset? Without a beach? Is it even a choice for my wellbeing?

Summer is my season, I LOVE it. I’ll take off 2 weeks and just chill, no I don’t get bored. I need it. Like viscerally need.

I’m reminiscing those dreamy early sunrises on the beach, getting up before anyone else to walk next to the ocean and always be first into the tranquility of that still morning sea to meditate as the sun hits my face. Followed by the rest of the day reading and eating in the shade. 2 weeks I look forward to the most all year.

This isn’t a pity party. I’m staying this year, what I want to tell you is what happened when I stopped treating that as a tragedy.

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The word "Vacation" comes from the Latin vacatio, meaning "freedom, exemption, or release from something" originally referred to being exempted from a duty or obligation.

Which got me thinking of a homecation. Do I really need a flight to receive that restoration? Can I appreciate just being, rather than having to remove myself in order to do so?

Freedom from duty, another way of saying ‘spend time with your inner child’. A holiday - holy day- immersed within God, nature, spirit. Taken out of the daily grid, the doing, the societal trap we all find ourselves in.

I can spend time with my inner child at home, just as much as I can next to the sea. Being next to the sea gives me my permission slip- in society's eyes. It’s acceptable for me to not ‘do’ there, try to not ‘do’ at home and well, the guilt floods in.

So this year I may not get to the sea but what I do get is granting myself that permission slip.

What really makes memories is presence, do you really need to get away to be here?

I asked my daughter what her favourite holidays were- she didn’t mention any of the swanky hotels or breathtaking places we have been to- nope they don’t even register in the core memory bank. It’s who we were with every time, the villa where she had an awful ear infection- yep a best holiday because her cousins were with us!

It’s light from 5am in the UK right now, the stillness of the morning is heavenly, I’ve taken to journalling and meditating on the grass in my garden, surrounded by early birdsong, the sheep bleating on the nearby farm and Bear deciding to join me as he snuggles down into the grass for the routine- I’m sure it’s his favourite part of the day too.

Grounding into the Earth’s frequency first thing has been transformational for downloads. Inspiring me to add everything that comes through to my journal…. I’ll ask for messages and note them, then notice later in the day those same messages coming through. Things that would have passed me by before. For example loud and clear… ‘don’t outsource my inner knowing’. Later that day I picked a book up that I had not opened for a few days and there were the first words I read: ‘As humans we are continually seeking out different places to find enlightenment- we have a tendency to look outside ourselves for direction and guidance, and even the answers."

Since writing this article, while in the stillness of my garden, I had MANY pings to go to the small island of Tresco - as you may know I am in the season of following my pings. So I booked it, last minute UK island getaway to paradise (part of the Isles of Scilly just off the Cornish coast in England), not only that but my best friend (since we were 13 years old) is coming with me (and our teenage kids who are best friends too).

What was a stay at home summer has turned into a no flight, nature filled, restorative adventure. It will take us a very un-glamorous 6 hour train journey followed by a 3 hour ferry and another little taxi boat. But it could possibly be the thing I needed more than I realised this year.

It just unexpectedly turned out this way after presence in my own garden brought me here.

The strangest part: I only heard the ping because I'd finally gone quiet.

Last time we went away together was a lifetime ago, over 20 years, when we were just girls, with no children, no responsibilities and no losses yet. This feels like something we both need together.

We listed out all the reasons why Tresco would not be a good option for us this year, expense, travel, not ideal accommodation, the list goes on. Then I looked at her and said Tresco is just calling- she agreed, it was calling her too. In that moment we both knew we were going.

It was never really Italy I needed. Something was pulling me towards a different need this year.

I would love to hear about your travel plans. Are you staying home this summer too, or did you get a surprise ping like I did?

Until Next Week,

Cesca Xx

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