As we head into August and the final weeks of summer, we want to hold onto and savor the many delights this season offers. We squeeze in “one last” trip, a fire pit with friends, or a beach outing with the family. We harvest the bounty from our gardens. And yet, the word rest floats on the breeze, and it calls us back to Eden.
As the six of us respond to the theme of Rest, notice what emerges in your own soul. Here is Alicia’s perspective:
Recently, a busy work season ended for me. I was tired.
A few weeks later, I met with a wise confidant. As I described my emotional and mental fatigue, she reflected back language I used to capture the season. Words that suggested I should have done something differently. She was right—I could hear the element of blame in my words.
Perhaps should needs a “handle-with-care” disclaimer. It’s the kind of word that necessitates discernment. Pausing to consider whether or not my should is grounded in truth is vital. If it is, then reflecting on how I should have handled a situation can be helpful and instructive. Usually, for me, my should comes from a place of blame and is unhelpful and discouraging. When I feel ashamed, I fall into self-pity and naval gazing.
Should also doesn’t leave room for the “good enough” space. Decisions are either right or wrong, good or bad; should is unable to flex with the complexities and nuances of daily life. Should fails to acknowledge that I’m a human being with limits.
My confidant then asked, “What do you remember about saying yes to these commitments?” Her question gave me pause.
And then I remembered the process that led to the “yes.”
I remembered the time I spent considering each opportunity. The time spent in prayer and conversation with my husband and trusted friends. I remember my enthusiasm and eagerness surrounding these opportunities. I said yes to them with confidence, trusting I was making a good and informed decision. Like the speaker in Wendell Berry’s poem “Manifesto: The Mad Farmer Liberation Front,” I was “joyful though you have considered all the facts.” I was at rest having considered all the facts. My entire being rested in my “yes.” No knotted stomach or tight shoulders. No anxious thoughts swirling in my mind. My heart was at peace.
You can probably guess what happened after I made my decision—a busy season began. Any memory or thought of making a careful decision was lost in the swirl of meeting deadlines and fulfilling work commitments.
I find it’s much more difficult to rest in a decision when the margins on my time, my relationships, and my energy begin to grow thin and blurry. I move to a place of self-doubt. I wonder: Did I make the right decision? I listen to the voice of my inner critic, and believe I made a bad decision. I should myself.
When I paused to reflect, here’s what that season revealed: just because life was busy, hectic, and even stressful at times, didn’t mean the “yes” was unwise or wrong. I am a finite, limited creature, bounded by time constraints. I do my work, fulfill my commitments, and meet my deadlines to the best of my abilities. And as I do this, I release the outcomes to the Holy Spirit. I rest in his divine knowledge and perfect timing. Sometimes, I open my hands and lift them because I need the embodied reminder of release and surrender.
I offer my decision to God. Rest becomes an act of trust.
I remember the process that led to the “yes.”
Here’s a blessing for you, that you may find rest in your “good enough” decisions.
A Blessing for Rest
May we extend grace to ourselves when we feel overwhelmed.
May we recall with clarity and truth the steps that led us to say yes.
May we recognize that choosing to rest isn’t a one-time decision.
May we find contentment as we rest in our decisions.
Alicia is an author, a speaker, and a teacher. She wrote Everywhere God: Exploring the Ordinary Places, a book about ways to encounter God’s presence in the everyday. This is a topic she thinks and speaks about often. She is passionate about helping others discover ways to live life with God to the full. Find out more about her and her work at aliciabrummeler.com.
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