Just a flow of carbons and oxygens in my body.
Far from the comfort of my four walls. I'm sitting on an uncomfortable steel bench. No people, no phones, it's green all around. It's a weirdly comforting place that I've found. I can hear the leaves falling from above. I can see the birds chirping their songs. Monkeys swinging and the crickets creaking. In this beauty of chaos, peace, is what I'm feeling. It's been hours. My sweat has all dried…
Have you ever felt like you had only one thing to do and you messed it all up and now you are afraid that you'll never redeem it. And you keep pushing it away because you are scared because if you try again you will fail at it again. Wow I have so amny regrets. Looking back at what I could have done right, I am surprised at myself. How did I mess up so bad? I have friends who did great, and I have…
What you most want is what you most can't have. And what you most can't have is what you already had... and lost. You might be wondering how I know that you're awesome! Because I know you read this via RSS.
For love, men would kill men. For love, men would let men die. For love, men would kneel before their enemies. Yet, The world runs with the fuel of hatred. The world rots with the taste of power. The world kills men for the love they possess. For, Love for their partners. Love for their family. Love for their peers. Yes, Love, is nothing, but a spell, that binds lovers to battle, for those who are…
I don't even know why I'm writing this. But my thoughts need to go somewhere. I have been thinking about obsession. I am not here to defend the guy for not telling the girl that he loved her when she asked him about it. Because that is obviously the right thing to do. But I don't think the wish the guy made in itself is a bad wish. Let's start with what love is. In my opinion, the love is…
1. Speakers can act as mics. Ref: Speaker as a Microphone - Why can a speaker work as a microphone? I forgot where I learned about it. Similar to how motors when spinned produce electricity, the diaphram of the speaker can also be vibrated to produce a varying signal that resembles the input sound. That makes sense. 2. Moden WI-FI routers use the property of wave to have constructive and…
Never be satisfied. Don't accept what you are given. Nobody is going to give you what you want, they are going to give you what they want to give you; for their own reasons. - The Antagonist from Spider Noir You might be wondering how I know that you're awesome! Because I know you read this via RSS.
I love science and the scientific method because it is a simple concept; it is true with the current proof until something disproves it. And, I have always treated the factual start of things as is when commentating with people which makes me "direct" and a straight talker. When I realized that most people didn't like how I communicated, I began to make every sentence I state also be a sarcastic…
I have always been a procrastinator, but after so many hours of procrastination and losing time on worthless scrolling despite my multiple efforts to minimize my device usage. I have realized that it isn't just procrastination anymore. Now, it has turned into fear. or worse; the realization that I just cannot do what I had to do, on time I keep going cold turkey on smartphone, most importantly…
This writing is probably not what you think it is about. I have a very specific taste on tech related things. I prefer Linux and I like android. But, growing up I didn't get to experience tech the same way my friends did. Or, at least I experienced it very differently. The Context Being from a third world country, there was always a delay before everyone adopted new tech. When computers were a…
I am a very ambitious person. Ambitions apparently don't fulfill themselves. Which I am realizing the hard way. I used to be someone who people called "naturally talented" I didn't study much, I passed all subjects, got good marks and everything was fine and easy. I thought If I had to fulfill something I'd fulfill it somehow in the end like I always used to . After completing high school with an…
Goodbye originated by people saying God Be With You as a phatic, so often and rapidly that over time it mashed together to "godbewiye" and then finally to goodbye. So, saying bye is like saying Be With You very rapidly. Which makes saying bye to someone, very romantic to me. You might be wondering how I know that you're awesome! Because I know you read this via RSS.
I must say, Aalu Dam is very tasty. But, even more tasty when paru makes it. I'm eagerly waiting for the next recipe. gimme something fasfasfasss You might be wondering how I know that you're awesome! Because I know you read this via RSS.
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa Throwing sick burns: A "burn" is a witty insult or a comeback that leaves the other person speechless. "Sick" in this context is slang for excellent, impressive, or intense. To "throw" one just means to deliver it. What's up: In this specific grammatical structure, it means "what is happening," "what is trendy," or "the way things are." You might be wondering how I…
Paracetamol seems to be the greatest medical invention of all time. Almost every patient has a vile here. You might be wondering how I know that you're awesome! Because I know you read this via RSS.
I never learned about how much to ask for what work I do. I've never worked as a freelancer before and what I decided was to wait for what my employer will judge my worth for the work I do. I did give all my efforts to finish the job in time. I wouldn't say that I worked my ass off, but I did put a lot of effort, some of which got wasted too. But, when the time comes to get paid, it doesn't work…
All my friends are quitting, (yes all), because the friend group is mostly you faulty and rounding that up it's all my friends. So, let's quit together! You might be wondering how I know that you're awesome! Because I know you read this via RSS.
I am eagerly waiting for paru for her recipes, her post reflections got me crying so I now need to follow her logs. I love eating. XD C'mon! Post some already. You might be wondering how I know that you're awesome! Because I know you read this via RSS.
paruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu! Welcome Back! You might be wondering how I know that you're awesome! Because I know you read this via RSS.
I am trying to see if the app I made to make posts to my blog from my phone is as intuitive as i want it to be. I built the app and edited this post. Letsgooo! Fluxxxxxxx! So, I have somewhat completed the app, and it's called flux . I keep adding features and the "almost complete" app is far from being complete. I remembered this book cover: You might be wondering how I know that you're awesome!…
Every once in a while, I remember you. Not always, Not even yesterday. It was today. Every memory of you, it is fresh in my mind. Maybe, this time, science failed, memories do live in the heart. Though it burns, and hurts, it's a pain of love, that I'll get to experience. Even a single picture of you, brings back countless memories. I can only imagine, experiences you been through. I'll never…
some ships sail and some sink down, some request and some order loud, some suggest and some seek control, some just care and some insecure, some love bites and some scars, some romantics, others try hards, some love and some simp trips, some notice and some are creeps, some emotional, some babies weep, some support and some judge weak, some admire and some too close, some are good but not all…
Dreaming is good, they say... Having dreams and ambitions and goals is a good thing. Yeah! Until you dream of more things without achieving the previous dream. Then, the dreams pile up. Almost like a baggage that's pulling you back. You keep dreaming, and you keep sleeping. That's the worst loop one can fall into. Is there a limit on what I can do? Yep! There is always a limit. What do I want?…
Let's start from the beginning. I made this blog to write stuff daily without giving too much thoughts on it, to see my progress on topics that may be controversial and how I am improving on it. Things that I have a very crude understanding of but still have opinions on. I basically have two personas here, one the writer me and another the commenter/explainer me. Hey! that's me! So, judging me…
For some years now meaning: many years now I have been into Linux and with being in the Linux "ecosystem" I have grown a taste in what kinds of software I use and like to use. It's the software that is Free and Open Source, that respects your privacy. If they can't show you what they do with your inputs then they can't be trusted. But, this mentality of "software should respect my privacy"…
Everyone has a belief system. A system of being confident on what is good and what is bad . or what is bad but good and what is good but is bad Also a belief of who I am and who I will be. or who I want to be Beliefs on what is necessary and what isn't. A belief of how a person should behave and how one shouldn't. These beliefs make the identity and personality of the person. Due to multiple…
You are a thing I constantly fear. That, one day, I will come across you. That, one day, I will have to face you. One day, what I don't want happens. Old habits that push me down. Fighting! With my consciousness that pulls me back. Bac...Back-off! It's hard to fight with myself. My subconscious self. Who is better than being me than myself. Does things that I cannot do. Each step I take, you carry…
The stories and the poems, they are lies. Love wasn't easy, they said. To believe in them was my fault. Tried to do what no one can. Loved with force, thought I could handle it. Thought love was to be selfless. Thought I was putting you first. Should have listened to you. Should have run away then. Made you my victim, you're true. Men who try to love, they're wrong. Sacrifice isn't love, it's…
I don't know when it to ignore things and when it is to run away from it. You should run away from danger, and you should never ignore anything? I wish there was a written instruction set for it. (I would still not read it but I wish there was one.) I have been ignoring and running away from things for way to long for me to realize "facing" something is an option too. Conquering the inconveniences…
The easiest thing to do these days is to spend time doing nothing and forget the things that needs to be done. I can turn my mind off and just float in this state where I don't have to worry about how it might affect the future. No, I am not talking about the butterfly effect. I am not bored, I am lazy. There is a difference, which I didn't seem to realize. Boredom is not having things to do while…
So, it's 2082 B.S. Not Bullshit, Bikram Sambat, like AD but for Nepali Calendar. I am living in the same age as you are, not the future. This is just our calender system. And I wanted to write some clean slate style text here. I have had a love hate relationship with love and hate. I have been through loving and hating and finally being indifferent to the same person. Though, if you graphed the…
I realize that I had a personality that revolved around being smart. That I was able to learn things fast and didn't need to make much effort to learn things or get "good" grades. I mean, it is a good thing to praise someone's ability to grasp things easily, but, when the same thing is validated by the teachers, the family and everyone else—it doesn't take long to believe that you are special, and…
I love showing off the things that I have made. There is rarely anything novel about the things that I make, it mostly comprises Frankensteined pieces of different people's works of art. It is almost always something that is inspired from someone. But I adore the things that I make because I pieced them together myself. I also love seeing people use and love the things that I pieced together, It…
If someone proves that something you believe is wrong is not only possible but also accepted by those around you, to the point that it makes you question yourself and lose confidence in your own judgment, does that invalidate your judgment? Are you fine with doing the gray things if someone else is doing it too? Anything will be validated to you if you ask in the right place. If you want killing…
Org mode is one of the "modes" in Emacs. Could be the most lazy Definition of org-mode till date. So, what exactly is orgmode? Let's start with "Org". Org is a markup language like Markdown. Could be the most lazy definition of org-mode till date. Is it a plain text system of writing documents? I can't exactly describe it. From orgmode.org Org is a highly flexible structured plain text file…
So, I am using emacs now. And for a long time vim user, I am very evil. My whole life has become an evil mess. I have exam tomorrow and I am configuring emacs with my heart's content. Should get back to work now. I don't want to fail the exam. I don't want this to remain an experiment because I am loving emacs, but it feels ever so slightly sluggish than (neo)vim so, lets see. Also I have set up…
So, it's exam time and the first exam is on OOAD (Object Oriented Analysis and Design). Reading a lot of lists and memorizing them requires mnemonics. Here are some of the fun ones we (yeah not studying alone) though virtually created for OOAD topics: Phases of Unified Process I eat crunchy tacos upstairs with my sons. I = Inception E at = Elaboration C runchy = Construction T acos = Transition…
There are too many things we cannot control. I wish I could go back in time and fix things. Controlling yourself is hard enough, I wonder how difficult would be controlling "time". I didn't decide to write this thinking I couldn't control time. Actually I had put this topic on "things to write about" yesterday, and today I don't remember what inspired me to put that there. Regardless, I am writing…
Yeah, you know it, I know it, we know it but, we always want a little more. Giving that extra effort, making that extra move, going that extra mile is fine (I know I am completely contradicting the title.) but only do it if you are doing it once. The efforts you put should only scale upwards with time. Reality is often disappointing, and it normally goes down. Well, why am I writing this? Such a…
Note: I don't have an audience, let alone international ones, but 'bhajans' are hindu songs about god. I rarely talk about god. Except for when I am defending about it not existing. But, the fact that so many people believe in something without no proof at all also makes sense. No, I don't see me turning into a theist anytime soon. People can just blame the all-powerful, almighty alknowledged? for…
My bed is one of the deepest place in the world. for me If I sit on it I sink. If I lie on it, I sleep. If I sleep on it, I dream. If I dream on it I forget what I had to do. I try to ignore it, I sit on the floor, I stand up and work, I sit on the table. On the chair, I mean. But it just pulls me. Like it is a black-hole that's just for me. I don't want to sleep at the daytime. But, if it just…
I see many people expecting something in return when they do something for someone. Returning a favor. Owing one. All these things are there as a norm. Sometimes people expect something to be done out of love. or I have to do it because I am someone to them. (like your relatives expecting a call once in a while.) Humans have made giving and taking as inseparable parts of a single process. I mean,…
Since there is support for almost all characters in Unicode, all devices have been able to render all kinds of characters. Characters ranging from Indic to Korean, Kanji, Chinese... you name it. Today it is all smooth sailing, if it is written in Unicode it works everywhere, hence, UNICODE. But, if your language uses non-English characters and your government "Everyone" I mean. used to use fonts…
This morning, I realized that the bag/sack of rice that is kind of a waste product when buying rice, works as a garbage collecting bag for the month which is tied and sent to the garbage truck. I never remember buying a sack for the garbage, it's always there. That got me thinking about if there are other such things that I don't know. Sorry to disappoint, but I didn't find any other. (Or, didn't…
I want to forget the things I want to forget. I want to move on and think about things, I actually want to think about. Ideally, I would want to wipe my memory of some things while still keeping the things that I learnt from it. But, this is the defence mechanism of the brain, it is how it works and how it tries to save us, warn us about making the same mistakes or decisions again. Though the…
This will probably sound weird but, I cry (almost) 80% of the times when a movie ends. If not, at least once throughout the movie. And it is not like I watch emotional movies, I do watch psychological thrillers, or just thrillers in general too, but mostly comedy. I sometimes think that my eyes are the problem, due to continuous focus on a single place screen . But, It never happens when I…
This is not the first time this has happened. I am trying to replace all the programs I use to the ones written in rust. Why? You might ask. It's for fun! I get to rice new things. Rust is a cool kid language, but unlike other cool kids it's a sophisticated one too. So, it's no doubt that it's going to rule the world, maybe not for the next 100 years, but I could bet 50. Now, let's come straight…
Firstly, I really don't know what it's like to be high. So, this is for what I consider high. To be in a state where you feel nothing but extreme joy and you forget everything else. So, now that we have my definition of high. Let's start talking. First, you need a friend. One that understand the words coming out of your mouth. (hehe, Rush Hour) You need something that you both/all are working on.…
I mean this in the sincerest way possible. I have much respect for what Feminism represents and I don't mean any disrespect toward the current as well as historical significance of feminism. It is a very sensitive topic and I wouldn't have had to clarify that these are my views if it were a bit easier to talk about. And it has been a difficult topic to talk about just because I am a man and this…
I love customizing. Anything, everything but, mostly software. I like sharing what I have created. I like showing people how computers can be fun and the fact that there are too many ways we can use it. And I love living in the bleeding edge of things. Not cutting edge, Bleeding . I like using the most alpha of the features. BUT! Bleeding edge is named for a reason. You never get the "Polished"…