I was just reminded strangely because of Peiločja and a conversation with Jeremy and perhaps because of a sampler sitting unused on my sofa in the other room of a “scene” when I was living in Spain. I had purchased a Warm Audio BUS-COMP from someone on that buy/sell thurk that cretins in Spain use. What was it called? Something with W. Wallaby? Wombat? Wurst? Whataburger? I just CANNOT recall!…
I’m sitting U Smrťaka quite near my current home in Nusle. I have a pivo. It is a Radegast. I greatly prefer it to Pilsner. The music listening adventure begins. Let’s see what each song brings. Of course, Pete Townshend had to appear first floating in my ears. Stardom in Action . In fact, this song doesn’t bring anything specific to my mind. The album itself resonates on many levels, however.…
The fact that I’ve seen Victor more recently in person than Tony crushes my evening jauntiness like a gleaming beetle beneath the bootheel of a bully.
In a few days time, I shall embark on a music listening project like I have done twice before involving songs or other pieces of organized noise that have strong associations to points in my past. I shall choose a few albums that were mainstays in different epochs of my life and write about the associations that emerge as different songs or other pieces of organized sound emerge from not exactly…
Zítra bude naše výročí. Naše výročí jeden měsíc od svatby. V tomto okamžiku si nás představuju na lepší pohovce v bytě v Mnichově. Moje láska pracuje vedle mě a Peiločja se schoulí na jejím novém polštaři. Nevíme kde je Luki ale asi je v Garchingu nebo pije pivo v nejbližším kebabovém místě s jeho novou přitelkyní. I když přestěhovaní do Mnichova nás trochu zmate, rychle se přizpůsobíme - obzvlášť…
The café was expansive and constrictive at the same time. We were huddled around a table that seemed like it flowed into the table behind us and to the table in front of us and to all sides without break, though zároveň we were in our own pine box, the five of us. I think we were five. Shane, Raun, two others, and I sat at this table that flowed into other tables yet was at the same time separated…
Christian Michael “Huggable” Newman sent me a photo this morning along with a text description: A rubber gudgeon is a female, socket-like metal fitting attached to a boat’s transom that pairs with a male pintle pin to form a pivoting steering hinge. Obviously Christian is planning some sort of boat trip. Or, alternatively, he is gathering a collection of rubber gudgeons and pintle pins to the…
I sit on the granite-lined couch bed on the top floor of Ivanečka’ sister’s řadový dům. Ivanečka herself is around yonder corner at Gianni’s defunct work-at-home desk. She is giving a lesson to a German female by the name of Tina. Tina often tries her hand at writing poems in Czech. I’m reminded of my younger self. Actually, I’ve written a few at least Haiku lately in Czech. I’ll have to find them…
Here is the form. I will crush it. Now it is a different form. This is the interesting thing. There is a “novel” that I began writing years ago that I should one day get back to. In fact, it has been on my mind often lately, if only in the periphery. There is a “scene” within it where the protagonist (I laughingly call myself a protagonist) relates a story from his childhood. It is about a friend…
The barnacle’s ambition is to reach the harbor without having built the boat. In a way, I have also been carried by a boat throughout my life, but not in the way that the Swiss people I am staying with at the moment have been. They are the recipients of luck in a way that I really never have been. They either haphazardly married into or were haphazardly born into an ancient Italian family that was…
We speed under a bridge on the highway between Praha and München, though our destination is not München. I glance back in time a few days to yester-monday, otherwise known as the thirteenth of July of this year. Wheels turn beneath us as we glide between Praha and Berlin vlakem . I awakened at four twenty and decided that waiting until the alarm sounded the song by Eskaton ten minutes later was…
Sometime during January of 2025, I wrote a list of resolutions . It’s not something I do often because I am aware that I will follow them for only a short period of time before falling into other more, for lack of a better word, comfortable routines. I feel now that I should go over them to see if they pertain to my current situation in life. No more than 1700 calories a day until February. This…
I am so tired that I am sweating somnolent tears. Trips of the length of the one I am currently on are extremely unpleasant. Hopefully I shall only have to go to Seminole at the most one more time in my life. From my point of view, living in a distant city with clear and easy connections (travel wise) to most other non po-dunk habitable zones, my father chose one of the worst possible places on…
Over the endless epochs since my arrival on the planet, I have grown quite tired of a concept that many humans feel is somehow absolutely necessary. This concept is consistency . Christian and I have talked over the years about a concept we call mental modules . Our mind is made of myriad modules that take turns as the protagonist in our consciousness. Some are more extroverted than others. Some…
I read somewhere recently that a good credo in life is Supress it, but don’t deny it. Note it. Name it. Laugh at it. Continue. In fact, I think some other version of myself actually wrote this credo in a slightly altered form. And, subsequently, it is a credo that I have mostly lived by since I was in my mid-teens. Well, perhaps I wanted to live by it in my mid-teens, but was unable to because my…
The membrane Better known as the bubble . It is the permeable, semi-permeable or impermeable tissue that separates communities from their outside. These bubbles are sometimes overlapping. They lurch to engulf and retract to expel. They can also be personal, or, rather, individual. They enclose certain communities of thoughts and ideas and accumulate like minded thoughts and ideas from their…
Peiločja cleans herself on the corner of the bed as I lie supine typing this. I suppose typing this requires me to lie supine, actually, so my redundancy points its double jointed fingered stare at me and fills me with the icy knowledge that another evening is wilting. The air is dissolving from clarity into haze and soon the singularity of sleep will cast my present and my memory into pitch.…
I sometimes play a game with myself when I am walking long distances. I did the same in the past from time to time when I was driving long distances. I imagine a past version of myself, for example when I was seventeen and cloistered in the nefarious Fort Stockton, Texas. I imagine this past version of myself occupying my current self’s senses for a short while. I choose senses instead of mind…
Yesterday in the early morning hours, meaning not approximately three and a half or four hours after midnight, but instead approximately an hour an a half or an hour before noon, we set off in the “car” from Praha to Jena with intent to see Gong play an intimate concert in a strange little “club” called “KuBa”. However, Before setting off from Praha to Jena, I had to set off from my flat to…
This morning, as we walked a circuitous route to EduJoy, where Ivanečka works occasionally on Saturday and Sunday mornings to early afternoons, the subject of Switzerland came up and the fact that I have no intention of ever living there. Why, you ask? Well, that is a theme for another time, so you must wait. I apologize profusely. V každém připadě, the conversation drifted to the subject of…
Christian Newman, the plumpest humorist of our time, sent me the photo of a t-shirt that states If life gives you demons, make demonade , or somesuch. It simply reminded me of a time during my first year of University. I was in Austin at the University of Texas and spending more time programming drum machines and playing Risk than “studying”. Black students were often seen wearing t-shirts that…
I just walked home from Ivanečka’s place to my filthy domicile with the “cat” stowed “safely” in the backpack I use to transport her. It is supposedly especially made for transporting such creatures though I am uncertain that she likes the experience very much. Being “uncertain that she likes the experience” is actually greatly understating the rage she feels when she is placed in said backpack.…
Over the course of my music making “career”, I have explored different avenues of actually creating music. Or, rather than avenues , a more concise word is methods . I began simply - with an electric guitar and enough pedals to wall off seven European elk for half of the majority of eternity. Synthesizers came next. I bought a few Doepfer semi modular thurks and used them mostly for lead lines…
Three random ideas that come to mind (mostly unrelated) There was no one in line for “check-in” to my flight to Frankfurt. What does this mean? Will I be alone on the flight? I quite hope so. In any case, I’ll pretend I’m alone, or at least with my lovely Ivanečka and with my furry Peiločja, both of whom love me unconditionally. The bleakness of an aeroport morning. Again, I don’t mind. People…
Calendars and clocks are yet another thing that humans have devised or, more aptly said imagined up , to set the “world” into a line. Humans love forcing events into linear existence. Humans love to categorize and to even imagine capricious lines that are drawn through an arbitrary construct (time). Their craving for order and reason is obsessive. The ambience I just crammed loopingly into El…
I’m sitting at the Grand Chalice Hotel in Brno. Is it called the Grand Chalice ? I don’t think so. So, I am sitting in the Grand Chakalaka Hotel in Brno. Is it called the Grand Chakalaka ? I don’t think so. So, I am sitting in the Grand Chortle Hotel in Brno in my and my fantastic woman (Ivanečka!)’s room after a trip to Boby Centrum to “drop her off” and then a similar return trip on tram 6.…
I am in Brno for the first time in a series of practically infinite moments. The trail that led me away from here and then eventually led me back is complex and not necessarily coherent. And, after all, that is life. We only desperately place together meaning in retrospect where, really, there is none to be had, only our yearning for something more than the twisting, looping, crooked and staggered…
Yesterday was the anniversery of Lee’s demise. It’s been 32 years and it still affects me, though more these days in a nostalgic way. The melancholy doesn’t hit as hard as it used to. Humans pass out of this world all the time, I am aware, as is pretty much everyone since an early age. I just scribed a rhetorical statement. Though what a rhetorical statement might be is any human’s guess besides…
I woke up and created my fifth Looptober abomination. It was enjoyable but took much longer than I thought it would. I did spend some time with Peiločja, but the plan was for Ivanečka to pick me up at 9.21.03 so we could be off to Berlin. However, she called me at some earlier point informing me that she was already in the car, though to go to Luki’s situated place to take Luki his forgotten keys.…
I made a fantastic Medical Medium dinner. I baked small “cubes” of yam, cooked black beans with cumin from the dried nuggets that they were, and created red lentil “tortillas” along with various garnishes like koriandr, červená cibule and avokado. I arranged it all in an aesthetic manner in time for Ivanečka to come over and enjoy it all. She went home by nine it time to have her lesson cancelled…
A rose and its stem, or its lifeline, stretches from the base of a pitcher two thirds filled with water up into the still atmosphere of this flat and blossoms a radiant red at its zenith. I’m sitting at the table of work, amusement, victuals and study in Ivanečka’s flat in Prague 2 or in what some would call the outskirts of Vinohrady. It’s been just shy of seven weeks from the first time I met…
During the last five days, my life changed drastically. One expected and a number of unexpected things turned my mental state inside out. Or rather, chopped my mental state up and reassembled it in a manner that cannot be derearranged. My mother died. This was the expected event. She even predicted it herself when she sat in her chair in the weeks before I left and yelled I just want to die! over…
Wheels are moving beneath me once again. How long has it been since I wrote that or a similar line? Years, for sure, but the last time must have been in Spain when I was last alone on a train. To Madrid? That would have been 2016, then, and the same day that I was arrested for pissing off a policeman, which is another reason that Spain is inferior to Czechia. Czechia! What a name! But I must have…
The bench before the Trinity tree is occupied. It is occupied by me. My shadow doesn’t reach it. Perhaps my shadow is an illusion cast by the illusory sun. The Trinity tree is the only living thing left on the moon. I don’t consider myself in the set of living things since I am simply an extension. I wrote that long ago, as the trinity tree no longer exists. Or, rather, it exists in a different…
Today I had lunch with Bender-boy and Anne, his wife. We ate at an establishment in Andrews that exhibits properties of an excellent tex-mex restaurant, though it could be a brothel in Kazakhstan for all I know. My general perception of the world around me is coloured my delusions of being in another place - ANY OTHER PLACE. Though, interestingly enough, Bender-boy and I emanated from this area of…
As the brussels’ sprouts bake, I play with the “cat”. Though before I went to the lengths it takes to actually play with the “cat”, the “cat” joined me in the so-called office. Why is it called the office and why was I in there? The room is dubbed the office because that is where my grandmother, hereafter known as Katie , did all the paperwork pertaining to the so-called farm and other parcels of…
Approximately a year ago, I was wandering the sometimes broad and much too sunlit and at other times twisty, tenebrous and narrow streets and paths of Siracusa in Sicily with Marisa. It was a city in which one could find a Jesus in practically every other alcove. By means of almost universal contrast, I am in the exceedingly American city of Orlando at the moment, albeit sitting on Jeremy’s sofa…
There were three main trails we took when we were paseando just outside of Fresneda. Trail One: La Cascada We took this trail the most often. In fact, Michal and Mirka accompanied us to the waterfall at one point. Michal took a dip in the frigid pool into which the water cascaded. Michal is fond of “taking a dip”. A portion of his mind feels he is doing a sort of cold therapy . A portion of my…
Music plays a big part in my recollection of scenes from my past. Though I can divorce myself from the phenomenon when concentrating on a piece or song, I can easily swap out the chip (as they say, and I am paraphrasing, in España) and have myriad musics hurl me back into certain swaths of time. This assists me in recalling the whole event surrounding the listening “session”. The remembrance…
This society hasn’t changed one bit. People who don’t fit into the village are expelled: men who don’t hunt, women who don’t give birth to children. For all we talk about modern society and individualism, anyone who doesn’t try to fit in can expect to be meddled with, coerced, and ultimately banished from the village. This topic has been the subject of conversation throughout my life with multiple…
Today is day ZERO ! Amazing! I can only gawk at the implications! And very appropriate is that day ZERO lands precisely on Lee’s birthday. My subconscious also acknowledged this small nugget of “truth”. I dreamed last night of Lee. We met in a commodious transit station full of diaphanous haze. Yes, my dreams often feature ostensibly open spaces with walls or barriers or even membranes in the…
The problem with day ONE is that there is still 48 hours to go, vole. Well, counting is for the weak , in any case, so I shall take it in stride. I just created a rather pedestrian improvisation using the Syntrx II. My original intention was to explore the so-called Holloway Melody that I plan to use in heavy repetition and with moderate modification ongoing throughout the yet to be named 40+…
The dream found me, or the eidolon of me, in a diaphanous and capacious space like a high school gymnasium that extended to infinity in all directions. A song by Tears for Fears sauntered into my ears from the sound system. It was nothing that I know on this side of the dream reality , but my eidolon had it placed on the first album, despite the fact that the lyrics had something to do with “happy…
Day five . Amusingly, I miscalculated on Day 14 , which should have been Day 15 if I planned for Day One to land on the day before I depart. It turns out that the day before I depart will be Day Zero . Well, why not? As my departure approaches, my emotions churn, as I knew they would. They are affected by everything from what I have for breakfast (or if I have breakfast at all) and lunch to the…
Day seven and there is still a proliferation of random objects in arbitrary locations around my place of “work”. The word work is a slippery one, especially on the lips of the American humans I grew up around. Though it never quite implied the same thing each time I heard it, it was almost regarded as sacred . Our indoctrination during childhood was to always focus on work . Work was the road to a…
Today is day nine. I shall pour myself some Houjicha - another reminder of Japan. I mentioned Japan the other day not only because Christopher is there but because to me it is a vague concept. Yes, it is a concrete land-mass, but the reality of actually being there is just an abstraction. This points back towards my resolve to not make plans that are, as it were, etched upon the surface of my…
The ancient tapestry (I laughingly call it a tapestry) that habitually covers the Raspberry Pi with attached mini-screen whose name is Yak and to whom I am connected now writing this was on the floor at the base of the monitor stand earlier. Yak sits on top of the monitor. Possibly it’s not the best position for him / her / it / zubby, but I chose it for its proximity to the 12TB hard drive that…
Day 12. I just played with the cat a bit, and, as the song says, or at least implies, I’ll miss my cat . After all the trinkets, feathers and simulations of twine we’ve bought for her, in the end, the most effective device for pay is a long, wobbly, flexible (but not too much so) wire attached to a handle that has a piece of real twine tied to its end. Goes to show you that some ways from the…
As I just wrote to the swarm of protozoa that infest my “friend” Christian’s living corpse, the new album (the one about greenhouses , if you are curious) is now published on Mirlo, Jamcoop and my own Faircamp. In celebration, I’m listening to the album. I thought I might have burned myself out mixing and mastering it, but I am enjoying the run-through. The Yamaha HS5 monitors gurgle forth its…
Today is Day 14. I didn’t really want to do it, but a part of my mind insisted. Yes, I do not have complete control of all of my mental modules. Such are the days. So today is day 14. I didn’t really want to do it, but one of my mental modules began a countdown. At least I got to choose to name this day fourteen as opposed to fifteen , making the day when I actually depart day zero instead of one…