I was gonna title this one ‘the urge to purge’ then I remembered the 2000s and the skinnymania hell we are going through AGAIN and decided to not choose chaos. Great start to this post, we digress already! Back to the topic at hand: This one is about all of us who ‘create content’ (ew) here or IG or anywhere being so so intentional about the audience we are attracting and the community we are creating. But also maybe, this one is about a lot more than content creation, keep reading I promise I have a point here.
So I went from 200 something followers on IG to…(checking) 164K in a little bit more than one year. A lot of these numbers come from bursts of viral posts. It’s like you get about 100 followers per post…then there’s a viral one that brings in tens of thousands…and then back to 100ish per post. The issue is, some of these viral posts are high alignment with who I am as a person, and some are not.
This is where I introduce you to how I think about my community that I am trying to create here and on IG. It is concentric circles, something like this:
Bullseye:
35+ yr old women who love fashion
see personal style as a tool to show who they are
do not think there is only one way to do fashion right
are unapologetic (or at least are trying to be)
do not think shopping is the devil!
respect boundaries (their own and others’)
believe ambition is good for women
believe women deserve to make money
do not believe in duping others to do so
Second circle (we drop a few attributes):
35+ yr old women who love fashion
see personal style as a tool to show who they are
do not think there is only one way to do fashion right
are unapologetic (or at least are trying to be)
do not think shopping is the devil!
respect boundaries (their own and others’)
Third circle (drop some more):
35+ yr old women who love fashion
see personal style as a tool to show who they are
do not think there is only one way to do fashion right
do not think shopping is the devil!
Fourth circle (yet broader):
35+ yr old women who love fashion
see personal style as a tool to show who they are
do not think there is only one way to do fashion right
Fifth circle (fairly open):
35+ yr old women who love fashion
see personal style as a tool to show who they are
Last circle (come on this is the most generic one ever)
35+ yr old women who love fashion
I want the most people to be in the first 2, or at least first 3 circles. And the least amount of people in that last one. But not all my content is always only that first circle, right? Sometimes it is just a fitcheck, attracting a lot of audience that is 6th circle only. Sometimes it might even be just a quote on confidence, and then I get a bunch of very low alignment followers. They might make some sort of a venn diagram where they belive that women should be ambitious and make money, but they might not be interested in style and fashion at all!
This reel going viral likely earned me 1st and 2nd circle community:
However, this one going mega viral is probably a lot of last circle community:
While this one is somewhere in the middle:
There’s a concept called Audience Capture in content creation. It is natural for us to double down on ‘what’s working’. But what works isn’t universal or random. If a majority of my community is 6th circle, then what will work is ANY fashion content. Including things that I do not myself believe in (like trends).
A natural thing that happens is we forget who we are, what we stand for, and start performing for the algorithm. Ok, let’s do 5 more videos struggling with Kellies and Birkins because that one REALLY blew up. Let’s do more preachy quotes about confidence, since that seems to hit a chord. Let’s also throw in 5 more ways to style this tiger top because that ALWAYS hits.
And at the end of the day, your feed becomes something YOU don’t recognize or like. And any time you do stuff that is YOU, no one appreciates that anymore because that is just not your audience. You built a community that is completely out of alignment. And now you are trapped inside of it.
One thing I did not fully understand about creating content is how much that is a reflection of who you are, your values, your light, and your shadow. And how much it can drive your mental health, and to some extend inner compass. Or well, that is true for how I like to do stuff. I did not sit down and write my 5 content pillars and create a schedule (lol anyone who reads my stuff here probably knows that about me). I am just creating what I am thinking. SO, the logical conclusion is what I am creating must also be driving what I am thinking next. And what a shame it would be if I let audience capture dilute my thinking, my values, my approach to life. Oof!
At this point, I have a very good understanding of what will make people unfollow/unsubscribe. They are all the things that live on the peripheries of the circles I describe above. I have made it a regular practice to make posts highlighting those factors every time after a viral post. With the sole purpose of driving people to opt out of this ride if it’s not for them. Here is my list:
People who are anti shopping (I get this, trust me I do. But I am not anti shopping and if this is gonna piss you off, better you find out sooner rather than later). The purge post.
People who are anti AI (AI is very dangerous, but I truly believe if done right, will be net positive for society. Hence, I do what I do. In my experience most people who are vehemently anti AI don’t even begin to understand it, and are anti ‘creation with AI’. I get that, I respect it, but AI is much more than creating content. For folks who don’t care about that distinction and given my job, my life this one is a good reason to opt out. The purge post.
People who hate Google. Weird flex to be on a Meta platform and send me an abhorrent DM about my job, but you do you. This one I also add to my welcome message so people can opt out right away. The purge post.
People who are super anti synthetic fibers. I get it, if someone else wearing synthetics REALLY bothers you, you won’t like it here anyway. The purge post.
People who hate Tibi (lol but this is an active category especially here on Substack). So I had someone who followed me, then I found out they were complaining about me wearing Tibi all the time. Then I blocked them. They found me on a different platform to ask me why. LOL grrrlll this account is not for you if Tibi triggers you. On this one literally my entire account should be the purge post yet here we are.
The trad-wife people. This was my biggest concern with the Kelly post going viral. There is a huge overlap in trad wives and Hermes bag owners (ew). The way I BLASTED my anti male gaze agenda after every time I got a wave of followers from that post. Please please unfollow this account isn’t what you think it is. The purge post.
So the point of the purge posts are to get people to unfollow. Like this post you are reading. I bet some people who read this will identify with one of the buckets. And unfollow, and that is great. Win-win! Sure, my numbers go down, but my community gets stronger. I know we often complain about people unfollowing/unsubscribing after a post, but oh boy if you were yourself in that post, what a relief to severe bonds where they were weak or artificial anyway, no? And the other more important point of the purge posts is reaffirming for yourself what you stand for. A reminder before you let this people pleasing veer you way off course.
How many times PER DAY do we perform to be liked, accepted? I always say social belonging is a core human need, but what is better? To distort yourself into a pretzel to be liked by someone you might not even like in the first place? Or be yourself SO THAT your people can find you? People pleasing tendencies are natural and common for women. Natural people we actually, literally have many, many threats all through our lives. The belief that being liked will keep us safe (and successful) is grounded in reality. At the same time, at some point this is what holds us back.
I have seen this first hand in leadership. People pleasing gets someone to a good, high level management role. And then blocks them from reaching the executive level. Because they might call you a bitch, but they sure aren’t making someone an executive if they can’t hold and stand behind a contrary opinion.
So if you are a content creator, I invite you to think about IF audience capture is driving your content creation. And how that might show up in your real life.
And if you’re not a content creator, just think about this in your real life. How much of what you do is YOU, and how much is to please the circle you have accidentally created for yourself.
For me, maybe that’s what this whole ridiculous internet experiment is really about anyway. Every time I let go of the people who only love me for a single reel or a single viral outfit, I am practicing for real life. I am teaching myself that being slightly misunderstood by strangers is a small price to pay for actually recognizing the person staring back at me in the mirror—and on MY feed.
Let’s just be US. Let them unfollow. Our people are still going to find us.
Okay, that’s a wrap for this one!
If something in here made you nod, send it to the friend who would also nod. That’s genuinely all I want, along with a few more things of course:
🔁 Restack or quote the part that hit, it helps more than you’d think. Especially since I don’t do paid subscriptions, Substack won’t push this one out without your help
💖 Like or comment if you have feelings (I will read every single one!)
🔔 Not subscribed yet? Subscribe, friend!
Find me on Instagram @astahearts for more outfit overthink-ery!
Comments
Nothing yet. Say the first thing.
Sign in to join the conversation.