Dear Readers,
I have four kids. My two oldest are 15 and 13.
Brothers.
Sawyer, my 13 year old going on 18, doesn’t ask a lot of questions about autism anymore.
He doesn’t need too.
He understands his older brother.
He’s learned alongside all of us from the beginning.
He knows how to listen with more than his ears. He understands grunts and points and that flapping of the hands means happy.
He knows covering ears means excitement. And that his older brother needs help sometimes. He will always offer his hand in a parking lot and lead him across the street.
He once told me that Cooper feels like home to him.
He used to ask a lot of questions about autism. Back when he was little.
He wanted to know if autism would go away. And how his brother got it. He wanted to know why he didn’t talk. And so on. The questions would come in those sleepy moments before falling asleep and once when he realized that his brother was different than his friend’s older brother.
So I was honestly a little surprised when he asked me if Cooper dreams in his own language. It’s been so long since he asked a question like that. One that makes my heart tingle.
‘Mom, how does Cooper dream? Does he dream with words like ours?’
Before I could answer he said…’what is his language? Is it…like ours?’
This was one of those moments. Those important ones. I did my best to explain.
‘He uses our language buddy. Cooper has words. All the same ones that we do. Most of them just stay inside his brain. But they are there.’
And then I explained the beautiful ways Cooper communicates. And how when he does speak verbally, he chooses his words carefully. And he says each letter as if he’s plucking them out of the sky.
SS-AW-ER
Z-O-O
M-O-M
I saw the wheels turning, the boy with the old soul processing. Trying to understand. So he could explain it to someone else if asked. A future advocate.
‘What if he never talks mom?’
That question right there. The one I don’t have an answer too. The one that makes my stomach hurt.
We sat in silence for a few beats.
And then he said…
‘Oh, who cares. We will have our own language mom. Me and him. I’ll make it for us.’
Everyone needs a Sawyer. I’m more convinced of that every day.
Thoughts on this post? Leave a comment.
Love,
Kate
That’s why I wrote this book.
This past week I brought Cooper to get his haircut. We drove to the salon. Walked in. He waited. Had his hair washed in the sink. Let her cut it and buzz it. Wore the cape. Kept his shirt on. Waited while I paid. And then we left.
It was almost unbelievable after the last 15 years.
Haircuts used to break me. All outings really. Trips to the doctor or the dentist felt like I was lacing my boots up for a marathon. Going to church as impossible. Even riding in the car was unmanageable.
But there was no place to talk about it. Or ask questions. Or get help.
That’s one of the main reasons I wrote this new book.
Real life, practical applications, to life alongside autism.
If any of this resonates with you, I would be so thankful if you preordered my new book.❤️
Thank you!
Preorder here to get your copy!
Come swim with us on August 23rd at Hastings Family Aquatic Center. This is a great opportunity for your kiddos have some fun and to meet other local families!
Join me in Ohio on August 22nd!
You matter, and that’s why this event is for you.
Caregiving asks so much of you—emotionally, physically, and mentally. Each day it’s about you going the extra mile……
And most days, there isn’t space to stop and be poured into.
This event was created with you in mind. Not as another obligation, but as a place to pause, connect, and breathe.
You don’t have to hold it all together here.
You care for everyone, let us care for you!
Tickets now available, we hope to see you there!
Welcome to my little corner of the internet best known as Finding Cooper’s Voice. I named this blog over 13 years ago, back before my son was diagnosed with autism. When I picked the name, I thought my job was to help him find his voice. What I didn’t realize was he would actually help me find mine. Thank you for being here.
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