six weeks postpartum isn't a finish line

There’s this strange idea that postpartum is a six-week season.

You have the baby. You recover. You go to your six-week appointment. They “clear” you for exercise and sex. And then apparently we’re supposed to just...carry on?

I remember sitting at that appointment after my first daughter while I was still physically healing, dealing with postpartum anxiety, depression, and rage, and eventually discovering I had an anal fissure that hadn’t even been properly diagnosed yet.

When they told me I was cleared, I basically wanted to say, Are you fcking kidding me?*

Because nothing about me felt “cleared.”

I didn’t feel like myself physically. I didn’t feel like myself emotionally. I was staring at this baby I had wanted for YEARS after going through infertility and simultaneously thinking, We did it. She’s here. And also, What the fck just happened to my entire life?*

That experience taught me something I wish we talked about more: in a lot of ways, once you’ve had a baby, you’re always postpartum.

I don’t mean that in a scary way. I mean your body has been through pregnancy and childbirth. Your identity has expanded. Your life has changed. There isn’t a six-week appointment where someone waves a wand and suddenly everything feels familiar again.

And body image can get wrapped up in ALL of it.

My postpartum body image experience was different after each of my daughters. My first was born vaginally after three and a half hours of pushing. My second was born via C-section because of placenta previa, followed by a NICU stay. After my second, I had a four-finger diastasis recti gap and did pelvic floor PT to help with my abdominal separation and C-section scar tissue.

My body looked different, but more importantly, it felt different.

Even as a Registered Dietitian and Intuitive Eating Counselor who had already done years of body image work, there were plenty of moments when I looked at myself and thought, Who is this?

And one of the things that helped me most was learning to make room for the and.

My body feels completely unfamiliar to me right now, and my body just did something enormous.

I don’t feel comfortable in my body today, and I can still treat it with respect.

I am incredibly grateful for my children, and parts of postpartum have been really fcking hard.*

We have this tendency to think appreciating what our bodies have done should erase any complicated feelings we have about them.

It doesn’t.

You don’t have to look at your postpartum body every morning and think, I LOVE EVERY INCH OF THIS BODY!!! Sometimes body image work is much quieter than that. Sometimes it’s buying the pants that actually fit instead of repeatedly trying on your pre-pregnancy jeans. Sometimes it’s choosing clothes that make your body feel physically supported rather than squeezed. Sometimes it’s noticing a cruel thought about your body and asking yourself if you would ever speak that way to your best friend.

And sometimes it’s simply remembering: this is not permanent.

That became my mantra the second time around.

And I want to be very clear because I do NOT mean, Don’t worry, eventually you’ll get your pre-baby body back.

I mean this exact moment isn’t permanent.

Your hormones will change. Your baby will change. Sleep will change. Feeding will change. Your routines will change. Your relationship with motherhood will change. Your body will continue to change because bodies are supposed to change throughout our lives.

With my first baby, I didn’t have that perspective yet. I had barely been around newborns before bringing one home. Everything felt enormous and completely out of my control.

And when everything feels out of control, our bodies can become an easy place to redirect that discomfort.

Especially if dieting has historically given you the illusion of control.

That’s one of the reasons the body image work I did before having children mattered so much. It didn’t prevent me from struggling postpartum. It gave me tools to reach for when I did.

I talked much more about my personal and professional experience with postpartum body image in this episode of the Find Food Freedom® Podcast, including what was different between my two postpartum experiences and the practices that genuinely helped me through them.

If you’re in this season right now, I hope you can give yourself some room to be a human inside of it. You have enough to navigate without turning your body into another postpartum project.

And if food rules, body image thoughts, or the urge to control your body are taking up more mental space than you want them to, our team of Registered Dietitians would be honored to support you with compassionate, weight-inclusive care during this season and beyond. We invite you to submit a quick insurance benefits check so we can begin supporting you ASAP. ⬇️

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In good health,

Sam
Founder of Find Food Freedom®

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