Face Value - FILM WORMS

I was aged by a child last week. Not socially. Not emotionally. Botanically.

My seven year old was in the bath when he announced, with the authority of someone who has never paid a bill, that he was going to count how old I am.

Before I could intervene, he lifted one damp finger and began counting the wrinkles on my forehead like he was studying the cross section of a redwood.

“One… two… three…”

He leaned forward for accuracy. Squinted. Recounted one that might have been a shadow but, frankly, was not.

There is nothing that prepares you for being carbon dated by someone with shampoo in their hair.

The good news and the bad news is he landed on twenty nine.

Which is flattering, a little generous if we are being honest. But concerning. I am not twenty nine. My forehead is.

He can be brutal in the way weather is brutal. No cruelty. No agenda (I think). Just data collection. Kids don’t Google your age. They measure it. Physically. Publicly. With wet hands.

But maybe he was also being weirdly kind. He completely glossed over my under eye situation. So perhaps twenty nine wasn’t science. It was mercy. A soft launch back into youth.

Either way, he stopped where he did. Love, or declining eyesight. I’m not investigating.

XLenski

SNOW WHITE – “MIRROR, MIRROR” (1937)
Dir. David Hand · TRT 2:30
The original cosmetic audit. Vanity as a public sport. I fully understand the Queen’s instincts here.

THE PHARCYDE – “DROP” (1995)
Dir. Spike Jonze · TRT 4:04
Shot entirely in reverse, which feels correct. Life rarely moves the way you think it does. Perspective is everything. You are twenty nine until someone rewinds the tape.

KYLIE MINOGUE – “COME INTO MY WORLD” (2002)
Dir. Michel Gondry · TRT 4:05
One walk. Then another. Then five more versions of you layered on top. Years stack quietly. So do faces. Subtle repetition. Elegant multiplication. No one is counting out loud.

MY NEIGHBOR TOTORO (1988)
Dir. Hayao Miyazaki · TRT 86 min
One of the all time greats. Children see spirits in trees. Adults see trees. That’s the difference. Totoro would never count your wrinkles. He would simply stand next to you and let it rain.

That’s all for this week. Class is dismissed.

P.S. Got a clip, short, or lost gem you or your kids loved? Send it my way. I’m always looking for the strange and wonderful stuff that slipped through the cracks.

xLenski