Louis Theroux’s Inside the Manosphere left me with so many unanswered questions.

I don’t know about you, but the Louis Theroux documentary ‘Inside the Manosphere’ left me with more questions than answers. The hour-and-a-half viewing was not only uncomfortable, but even fours days after watching I don’t just feel concerned – but also confused - about what I witnessed.

One of my biggest questions is - how do we protect young boys (and girls) from this corner of the internet? Being online is such a huge part of everyday life that it would be almost impossible to hide it from them. And even if you could, you run the risk of it becoming forbidden fruit. Like with so many other difficult topics, perhaps the only real option is to address it head-on. But how do we, as parents, know how - or when - to do that? I’m not sure I have the tools in my locker…

It’s heartbreaking that so many young men feel completely disenfranchised, and what’s gone so wrong in society that the need to belong overrides the need to be kind, decent, or fundamentally a good human being?

And why were there so many young boys wanting photographs with these people on the street? I mean, obviously I know why - they have audiences in the millions. But it was quite unsettling to see their fame come to life through the eyes of others. To see how these extremists’ have become idols for impressionable young men. How can we ensure our own children don’t end up doing the same?

Another thing that puzzled me was the role of women in all of this. Why are some women willing to facilitate these behaviours? From “trad wives” to those willing to be humiliated in front of millions - I don’t get the appeal. I can maybe (just maybe) understand tolerating certain behaviours for a more comfortable lifestyle, but why degrade yourself for five minutes of fame? What’s happening for them that they feel this is the best way to live their lives - it’s all just depressing.

The hate speech was also deeply disturbing - the homophobia, the antisemitism, the hostility toward entire groups of people. In some ways it unsettled me even more than the hatred of women. I’m used to this kind of man hating me – I also like to believe that this man is the minority. But what I don’t understand is why adopting this “red-pill” lifestyle requires hatred toward others. Hatred towards entire groups that are lazily blamed for “problems” that they had nothing to do with. They actually don’t even know why they hate them.

Another contradiction I can’t process is how these figures could appear both stupid and clever at the same time. Don’t cancel me for this, but not everything (mostly), but not everything they stood for was wrong. Wanting young men to belong to something, to stand up and be counted in society, to have some value - some of that was a good message to promote. It was just unfortunately shrouded in preying on vulnerability and misogyny and hate for others.

There’s clearly a huge element of pyramid-style scheming - conning people out of money - that must require some extent of braincells. How can these individuals be savvy enough to exploit so many people and fund lavish lifestyles, compelling enough to engage millions with conspiracy theories, yet also seem so utterly incapable of explaining or defending their own beliefs with any kind of intelligent answer?

I also don’t feel like the documentary offered any real conclusion. Perhaps that wasn’t the point. Maybe it was simply meant to shine a light on the sheer scale of the problem?

I certainly wouldn’t pretend to be qualified enough to offer solutions. But I do feel compelled to start a conversation. Because if we’re going to challenge these disturbing and dangerous viewpoints, the only way to do that is by speaking up too. Even if what we have to say, for now, is simply a list of questions we don’t have the answers to…