This isn’t really a blog in the usual way. i doubt anyone will ever read this. Named after my favourite character, i didn’t know what else to use. I won’t me...
It’s been a while again since i posted anything here, but there really isn’t any particular reason to worry this time. Summer has just been incredibly busy and i’ve barely been online compared to before. Between appointments, physical therapy and trying to get used to ordinary daily life again after everything that happened, there hasn’t been much time left for it. Physical therapy especially has…
It’s been about over a month since i last wrote anything here. a lot has happened during that time. some of it was good, some of it was the result of decisions that, looking back now, i wish i had never made. i think i let certain situations get much worse than they needed to, and i ended up hurting myself in ways that will probably take a long time to recover from. i can’t change that anymore, so…
I think Heaven must be still, Beyond the sickness, past the ill; No heavy mind, no restless fear, No pain that follows year to year. No shame left buried in the bone, No soul condemned to walk alone; Just quiet light, untouched by grief, And finally, a kind relief. Perhaps that's why the world feels far, Like someone watching from afar; Because my heart, though living yet, Already longs where…
Now the light has gone away, Savior, listen while I pray; Asking Thee to watch and keep And send me quietly to sleep. Jesus, Savior, wash away All that I have done today; Make me holy, pure, and bright, Through the darkness and the light. All who read this prayer, and those I love, Watch them, Lord, from heaven above; And as i rest, I pray, Keep me close to Thee all day. All the world is still and…
It’s been almost a year now since things started changing. not fully a year yet, but close enough that i notice it constantly. sometimes i try to remember what life felt like before all of this and it honestly feels far away already, like i’m remembering somebody else’s life instead of my own. I keep wondering whether things are eventually supposed to go back to how they were before or if this is…
and God blessed Noah and his sons, and said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth (genesis 9:1) blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly (psalm 1:1) a wise son heareth his father’s instruction (proverbs 13:1) when he was come down from the mountain, great multitudes followed him (matthew 8:1) after these things Jesus shewed himself again to the…
Lately i notice that people don’t stay as long when i talk to them, or conversations just kind of fade out without really going anywhere, and i don’t always know if that’s them or if it’s me, but i can tell something is different compared to before people have said i’ve changed, that i’m quieter or harder to read, and i don’t really argue with that because i know it’s true, i just don’t think i…
The teaching is clear that trials are not random but permitted, and that they are not given without limit, "God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your strength, but with the temptation will also provide the way of escape" (1 Corinthians 10:13), which means there is always a boundary even if it doesn’t feel visible from inside it, and that part is meant to be certain, not…
Nothing in me is unseen "O Lord, you have searched me and known me" (Psalm 139:1). it feels exact in a way i didn’t understand before, because it isn’t only what i do, it’s what is there before it becomes anything i can point to, intention, movement and even what hasn’t fully formed yet, all of it already known God is not a God of confusion but of peace (1 Corinthians 14:33), so what is disordered…
I notice things more now and i don’t think that’s accidental, not in the way i thought before where everything just was the way it was, because now it’s clearer that there is a proper order to things and that what doesn’t fit into it isn’t neutral, it’s simply out of place and meant to be corrected It isn’t only objects, it’s in thoughts, in reactions and in the way something is done or left…