Mystery People Keep Emerging from New York City Manholes. The NYPD says they are “not a threat to the public” but they are “up to no good” which is how my report cards described me.
Scientists Made Sourdough Bread with Yeast Found on Ancient Mummy. The starter has been active for 4,500 years. So has the curse.
The Government Office Responsible for Containing Pests Has a Bed Bug Infestation. They’ve sent staff home twice, but declined to do so a third time after the bugs returned. Hey guys, someone you work with has bed bugs.
Thieves indicted for stealing 5 million worth of cheese, beef and cigarettes They were impersonating trucking companies and diverting shipments to the black market. If I taught an improv class this is what I would teach.
Hackers asked Meta AI to give them access to celebrity Instagram accounts. And it did. Every week AI gets smarter and every week humans immediately use it for nudes.
Scientists say there’s something living inside of fog. But we learned that already from Stephen King.
This Pennsylvania town has been on fire for 60 years and will probably keep burning for decades. It’s giving Simpsons tire fire. It’s giving cursed ground. It’s giving this is fine.
First, those dancing Chinese robots I find hilarious and like to post about made their US TV debut on America’s Got Talent. I hope this is how China takes over this country. Not with tanks. With “Abracadabra.”
Bring Me the Beauties (HBOMax)
I love cult documentaries, and this one is about a cult of models who go to Studio 54 and party all the time. Adults behaving badly in fabulous clothes is one of my favorite genres.
NSFW (Hulu)
The latest comedy from Mindy Kaling arrives carrying the impossible burden of being called the next Friends. The official description says it follows five ambitious twenty-somethings seeking success and happiness in Manhattan’s most glamorous neighborhood: Murray Hill.
Murray Hill.
Even people who have never been to New York know the most glamorous part of a city is never something named Murray.
Love Island USA (Peacock)
If you want a primer on all the Love Island lore before you dive in, I wrote this before last season’s finale and it will tell you everything you need to know.
So far, Kenzie is reality casting perfection. And the way Trinity reacted to that man being born in 1996 was one of the most humbling moments of TV this year. She acted like he was 100.
Love Island UK (Hulu)
My working theory: UK produces to prioritize relationships, USA produces to prioritize chaos. They are both correct strategies. We contain multitudes.
Cape Fear (Apple)
Apple stays making shows about suburban families in danger. In this remake of the book/movies/Simpson’s episode, Javier Bardem is charming and TERRIFYING. I have theories about how they’re going to change this from the movie versions mostly based on the key art and his creepy contacts. Come find me in the chat if you want to get into it.
The Witness & The Murder of Rachel Nickell (Netflix)
In 1992 a woman was stabbed to death in front of her 2 year old son. Netflix released both a documentary and a scripted adaptation examining the crime, and the disastrous police investigation that followed before the real killer was finally identified over a decade later.
The Vampire Lestat (AMC)
The hot vampire from Interview with the Vampire becomes a rock star. Imagine Jim Morrison with immortality, better cheekbones, and significantly more emotional damage.
This summer may be the perfect time to grab an AMC+ trial and binge this, Interview with the Vampire, Dark Winds, and The Terror
The Terror (AMC)
This season adapts Victor LaValle’s novel The Devil in Silver and stars Dan Stevens as a man wrongfully committed to a psychiatric hospital where he encounters horrors both real and supernatural. Dan Stevens remains one of our most underrated weird little freak actors and I mean that as the highest compliment.
Squatters Get The F*** Out Of My House (Hulu)
Sometimes you just need to watch scammers get what’s coming to them.
NOT NEW
The Thrifting Show (Hulu)
Like most home renovation shows operating on a tiny budget, there are some questionable choices. There are also genuinely inspired transformations using things in ways I guarantee you have never considered.
The Split (Hulu)
Not new, but new to Hulu. Nicola Walker, who is in all my favorite British shows, plays a divorce lawyer at her family’s firm who is simultaneously going through her own divorce. Deeply my thing.
Everyone is Doing Great (Hulu/Netflix)
I don’t know how I missed this when it came out in 2021 but this show created and starring Stephen Coletti from Laguna Beach and One Tree Hill is about 2 washed up hunks formerly of a CW-like Vampire show and their lives now, years after the show ended.
STILL WATCHING
Widow’s Bay is so good. A cursed New England island, a horror-comedy tone that actually works, Matthew Rhys as a mayor who is trying his best and failing constantly. Two episodes left. We should all be watching and we should all be talking about it.
Summer House Reunion & In the City The editors did excellent work this week juxtaposing what Amanda was saying on camera during filming versus once the West allegations came out. Bravo is known for having an exacting notes process and executives who take things very seriously, and you can tell. Bravo shows are, across the board, the best in class at this. It is not an accident.
RHORI In unsurprising news, Liz, who we watch this week act like she is Scarface, might be a real life drug kingpin. She and Dino were essentially running the plot of Ozark. She fronted the money for tons of cocaine and they split the profits. All while her husband was gone for months at a time “deep sea fishing.”
IF YOU CAN ONLY WATCH ONE
Widow’s Bay There are only a couple of episodes left and we should all be talking about them.
Streaming
Office Romance (Netflix)
Brett Goldstein, forever Roy Kent to me, plays a lawyer working for Jennifer Lopez’s powerful CEO. Betty Gilpin plays the assistant who immediately realizes what’s happening, while Tony Hale gets stuck as the HR executive tasked with cleaning up the mess. It’s funny and cute.
Hoppers (Disney)
An animal-loving college student transfers her mind into a robotic beaver to communicate with animals. Is this a kids movie? Yes. Am I still recommending it? Also yes.
TENNIS
Serena Williams is coming back to tennis.
You have to love Maja Chwalińska. The Polish player had to win three qualifying matches just to get into the French Open draw, made it all the way to the women’s final (tomorrow, 9 a.m., TNT/Max), and has been openly worried about paying her hotel bill because she was not planning to still be in Paris. Tournaments don’t pay out until it’s over, so a Polish sponsor has stepped in. She is playing in a Grand Slam final and stressing about her hotel bill. Most relatable thing to ever happen in professional sports.
NBA
The New York Knicks are in the NBA Finals for the first time since 1999. The Spurs are full of young players like Victor Wembanyama, the 7’4’’ French 22 year old and the Knicks are…not that. Game 3 at Madison Square Garden is happening Monday.
The greatest subplot of this entire run is watching Knicks fan culture ascend to its deserved level of cultural dominance in real time. These people are unhinged in the best possible way.
Case in point: Elmo posted on X wishing both teams “fun” before Game 1, and Knicks fans descended on his mentions like he had personally betrayed the city. “These streets ain’t Sesame,” one person wrote. “This isn’t the time for sportsmanship, Elmo.” Wendy’s replied “NOT NOW ELMO.” The Spurs then posted a photo of an Elmo plush toy in a Spurs shirt. Elmo subsequently issued a correction: “KNICKS that last message! Elmo didn’t mean to SPUR you on!” This is the greatest sports story of the year.
![Tweet by The Knicks Wall: "PICK A SIDE COWARD" with engagement stats below (likes, retweets, etc.)](https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!Sltt!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F8a979492-3d9b-4267-ab37-3aacb82e6a20_600x105.jpeg "Tweet by The Knicks Wall: "PICK A SIDE COWARD" with engagement stats below (likes, retweets, etc.)")
NHL
The Carolina Hurricanes overcame a two-goal deficit to beat the Vegas Golden Knights in overtime, tying the Stanley Cup Finals at 1-1. Game 3 is Saturday @8
But the Stanley Pup is also happening. Each NHL team has a dog for rescue and they all vaguely look like they were hockey players who were magically transformed into dogs
Technically not a sport, but we have a new National Spelling Bee champion. Fourteen-year-old Shrey Parikh from Rancho Cucamonga, California won after a 90-second lightning-round spell-off tiebreaker in which he correctly spelled 32 words to his opponent’s 25, a new record. The winning word was “bromocriptine,” a dopamine-mimicking alkaloid. He got a dopamine hit either way. He took home $52,500.
TIK TALK
The best trend right now: Text messages made into catchy Ai songs. Suno is currently in lawsuits with labels about how it was trained so this may not last.
MELISSA! I’m drunk and outside is my favorite
By now you’ve heard about the graduation ceremony boos but have you heard about Crank It
ARTICLES
Lunch Shaming: Kids are taking embarrassing photos of each other eating in the cafeteria. You couldn’t pay me to be a teenager again.
The Lego scandal in Utah is a classic rabbit hole: extremely niche, completely dumb, impossible to stop investigating. A YouTuber, $200,000 worth of Legos, and an evil corporation.
An Interview with AI actress Tilly Norwood
This article about women who’ve bought houses finding it hard to date went pretty viral but if you’ve watched Love is Blind you know this already.
What Happens When You Try To Treat OCD With Psilocybin Not what you think.
Calling It Now: It’s Going To Be A Fairy Summer If you say so.
TIME WASTERS
What Rothko painting is your current weather? 2 Rothko mentions this month!
Do you know how to act on a flight? A Quiz Some of you need it.
One of the most popular Extremely Helpful entries ever was the gift guide of holiday wines. So, back by popular demand, Amanda Crawford, wine broker to to the stars, is back with:
A Guide to Summer Drinks.
A key ingredient to summer is having a properly stocked beverage pantry. Don’t be caught unaware when 4.45pm hits and you only have a lukewarm LaCroix to open.
Rose all Day: You actually need a variety of Rose to fully embrace summer vibes. Everyone thinks the palest of the Provencals are the way to go, and they’re classic for a reason: BUT, there’s something so sexy about a darker, rustic rose with barbeque and burgers. Venture outside of the south of France, as every region has a nice rose for you. I love this one from the Basque country of Spain.
Lean and Green Whites should fill racks in your fridge. Get a vinho verde from Spain or Portugal for the best zip, or a frosty high altitude Pinot Bianco. Basically, if you can’t physically be on the coast, drink wine from A coast. Any coast really! The seaside of Italy, Greece or anywhere will do. If you’d rather be hiking in the Alps, get a great bottle of mountain wine from the Alto Adige or Switzerland (they’ve gotten really good in recent years!).
It’s ubiquitous for a reason: Sancerre. Almost any Sancerre can scratch the itch of wishing you were sitting at a bistro table in a small town in the south of France. And you pay a premium for the name, but there is something special about this site in the Loire with limestone and flint soils that gives the wines a nice backbone. It’s light, it’s lithe, it’s chic.
If you must red, chill it down and drink it out of a water glass. Don’t overthink it. I keep this on hand and always get raves.
3 Minute Summer Cocktails: You can’t solely rely on wine to achieve peak vibes. Summers are for shandys, so keep a wheat beer and lemonade on hand. Throw a dash of Angostura bitters on top and you are elevated. I also love a White Vermouth over ice with a splash of soda water and an olive. Something I’m bringing back this summer is the wine spritz. Take a basic nice wine, add a big ice cube (**) and some sparkling water and you can start drinking at noon.
**Buy this $6 ice cube tray which makes big restaurant style cubes. Adding this to almost anything, even regular water, is luxury at its finest.
You can find Amanda here. DM her with our questions
Todd Snyder x CB2 has some genuinely good things in it. I pray every man who shops at Todd Snyder sees this and is freed from the aesthetic prison of the leather couch.
In Mango news that has nothing to do with the son who pushed his father off a cliff, they have a collab with cool-girl brand Eckhaus Latta. The foiled straight jeans are the answer to the eternal question: can I wear jeans to this? Yes. You can wear these fancy jeans to that.
Marisa Berenson one of the chicest women alive, granddaughter of Elsa Schiaparelli, legendary model, lifelong devotee of caftans and turbans has a Zara collab and it is very her. Which is to say, there are caftans and turbans and ruffled bell bottoms and the home section has an Hermès-meets-Gucci-home-meets-surrealism energy, astrological wine glasses, cocktail napkins, and adorable little constellation mirrors.
If you still need summer clothes, Net-a-Porter is offering an additional 10% off sale merchandise with code FLASH10 at checkout. Mr Porter is up to 50% off across the site.
SUMMER SHOES. Last week: jelly shoes. This week: The new ballet flat is the jazz shoe. There’s the Celine, or Reformation, and for way less: Mango
Also Vans. This goes for men too.
How often to change the filters in your home. You’re not doing this enough. None of us are.
Air conditioner: every 4 to 6 weeks
Washing machine: monthly
Dishwasher: monthly
Dryer: after every single load
Air purifier: once a year
The novelty $2 dollar bill you got in a birthday card could be worth 20k. Start by seeing if it’s from 1976
Speaking of, Your iPod and your Tamagotchi are worth money now. 2000s items are officially collectible, which means you are officially old. Go dig through your mom’s garage.
Byyeeee, see you next week. Until then, may you have all the feels and thank you for supporting Extremely Helpful.
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