It Was Never About the 50€

I have a horse. He is 24 years old.

He has been living in a herd of four horses for the last 10 years.
He is a male, and there were two mares in the herd. One of them - we used to joke - was kind of his wife.

They spent a lot of time together.
Until she died a month ago. Heart attack.

I was surprised… and somehow not surprised.

She was in her twenties.
Is that a lot for a horse? I don’t know.

Knowing doesn’t change anything anyway.

It happened.
Life happens.

She belonged to a very good friend of mine.

I’ve lost animals before, and I knew the most helpful thing I could do wasn’t to talk —
but to help her let go of the equipment, the memories.

So I did.

I took time to clean everything: halters, saddle, ropes, blankets…

I put fair, symbolic prices on them.

Then I got a call from a young woman - let’s call her Mel.

She told me a man, Mike, was interested in buying the equipment.

He called me and said he would take everything - but only for a lower price.

No chance.

That’s not how I work.

I don’t do discounts.

If someone can’t afford something, I would rather give it away than lower the price.

He said:
“OK, then I’ll just take the saddle.”

Fine.

The price had already been clearly communicated: 300€.

Later that day, he picked up the saddle from Mel and paid… 250€.

Without my agreement.

And told her we had made that deal.

The next morning I saw the message.

250€.

And I felt it immediately.

Anger.

“Liar. Cheater. What the hell.”

I could have exploded.
But I didn’t.
I’ve learned something over the years:
Don’t react immediately.
Wait.

I asked Mel what happened.

She said:
“He told me you agreed on 250€.”

WTF.

I was furious.

We didn’t negotiate anything.
I clearly said no.

The price was clear.

For me, this crossed a line.

A line of integrity.

I wanted to react.

But I didn’t.

I paused.

And then something else came in:

“This is not even your saddle. You are helping your friend. Ask her.”

So I did.

She said 250€ is fine.

And then she said something simple:

“Let the saddle be comfortable for one horse.”

That landed.

Because she was right.

This is about the horses.

Not about us.

And then I saw something else.

This wasn’t about 50€.

It was about respect.
About value.

And I realised…

I was tying my value to his behaviour.

The moment I saw that, something shifted.

I didn’t need to fight anymore.

I answered Mel:

“Just so you know - we didn’t agree on that.
But leave it. If he doesn’t have it, he doesn’t have it.
Let at least one horse be comfortable.”

And I felt calm.

Because I am not here to prove my value to anyone.

If this had happened years ago, I would have called myself naive.
An idiot.

I would have abandoned myself.

This time, I stayed.

In the anger.
In the reaction.
In the awareness.

I moved through the emotional storm.
And I made it.

I returned to myself -
and felt relief, love, and freedom.

That’s what life is about.

And then…

When I opened the photo on my computer,
after I had already written the whole article,
I saw it.

It was 300€.

I misread it.

Shit.

He didn’t cheat me.

And the first thing I felt was relief.
Not because of the money.
But because he wasn’t who I thought he was.

And still - everything I moved through was real.

The anger.
The story.
The meaning I created.

Maybe that’s the deeper truth.
It’s not what happens.
It’s what we believe is happening…
and how quickly it becomes real in the body.

From feeling…to truth…to navigation.

Years ago, I would have called this magic -
because I didn’t understand it.

Today, I do.

I navigate it.
Consciously.
Aware.

#magicleader

P.S.
You can imagine how many “what ifs” came after that.