Disappointment: A Step on the Road

I was wondering wat I would talk about in my first post on this great new service. I was considering about talking about The Odyssey and the profound impact of Greek myth on art. I could also have looked at ways to care for your voice in the summer… but one topic keeps coming up again and again in my social media, in my emails, with my students and in my life, and to be honest, it isn’t a comfortable subject. Disappointment.

Disappointment is part of being alive, and it’s a huge part of the creative life. The publisher you were sure would want you. The gig you were certain to get. The audience who talked all the way through your set. The course or the job you applied to get a ‘thanks but no thanks’ letter. It really sucks.

Naturally, I could be glib and say, ‘but just look at all that you have achieved and how far you have come’. Certainly, that’s a good thing to do. I sometimes say to my students. ‘It doesn’t matter if a hundred people say no, as long as the right one says yes’. The point is, just keep going – but here are some tips on going in the right direction.

I was wondering wat I would talk about in my first post on this great new service. I was considering about talking about The Odyssey and the profound impact of Greek myth on art. I could also have looked at ways to care for your voice in the summer… but one topic keeps coming up again and again in my social media, in my emails, with my students and in my life, and to be honest, it isn’t a comfortable subject. Disappointment.

Disappointment is part of being alive, and it’s a huge part of the creative life. The publisher you were sure would want you. The gig you were certain to get. The audience who talked all the way through your set. The course or the job you applied to get a ‘thanks but no thanks’ letter. It really sucks.

Naturally, I could be glib and say, ‘but just look at all that you have achieved and how far you have come’. Certainly, that’s a good thing to do. I sometimes say to my students. ‘It doesn’t matter if a hundred people say no, as long as the right one says yes’. The point is, just keep going – but here are some tips on going in the right direction.

I Have Had to Disappoint People

I have been both an artist and an A&R (Artists and Repertoire professional, in other words, I found songs and songwriters and offered them contracts on behalf of a music publisher). Not only have I had the odd knockback, but I’ve had to give them as well, and it’s horrible – BUT how you react is very important.

For example, one person presented to me a track of decent if not outstanding quality, which sounded like something out of the 1990s when it was well into the 2010s. This person was unfortunately very emotionally attached to the track, and had a strong belief it had the potential to be a massive hit. I suggested lyrical changes and points in the vocal which need to be re-recorded, but the person refused to make any changes whatsoever and insisted on it being presented to a publisher. I agreed to do so, because I knew the publisher well and intended to tell him I was sure the person would make the changes if he asked. But publishers aren’t interested in receiving unfinished tracks, especially ones which don’t sound current (I had thought it might work as a ‘sound-alike’ track for a project set in the 1990s). The answer was a firm no, so I told the songwriter. The response was, well memorable.

He sent me thousands of words of insulting ranting, even proclaiming that he had given my Udemy course 5 stars and deserved a bit more from me in return and that I had not even sent the song to the publisher. I had told him it needed to be edited. I had given him advice. I had told him that publishers look for current (or future) sounds – but his complete refusal to take any kind of criticism made him very hard to get through to. And, now for the difficult bit, I was wrong for not telling him straight out. I should not have submitted it anyway. I should have come straight out and said, ‘This is not as good as you think it is’ from the start.

Naturally, the ranty email broke the songwriter’s relationship with me. I am not a home to verbal abuse! But I could understand his disappointment. He had been so sure publishers would want his track. It made me realise when my tracks were turned down, that sometimes the A&R has to give it to you straight. It’s kinder in the long run. If you send me your songs or creative writing for feedback, I will always be positive and I will always engage, but if you’re not quite ready for the opportunity you want, we have to look at how to get you there. It’s not helpful to just launch in.

Disappointed and Confused

Sometimes, however, professionals do have their own tastes and you can get confused by consulting too many opinions. I have a song that ended up doing well for me and has made me spot of cash. After I wrote it, I sent it to 2 A&Rs I trust. One said it was ‘very powerful’ and ‘impressive’, the other said it was ‘too linear’. Fortunately, the one who liked it worked for a major label and so was higher up the tree than the one who didn’t. At that point I had to ask myself, ‘Can I improve this? Do I believe in it the way that it is?’ That took some thinking about, but it worked out well in the end.

If You Just Aren’t Where You Thought You Would Be

It’s not always rejection that causes disappointment. Sometimes it’s just a sense you’re getting older and you thought you would have achieved more. If that is you, I would like to point out that my artistic hero, J.R.R Tolkien, did not publish The Lord of the Rings until he was 62. It takes time to percolate genius! The road goes ever on and on, it hasn’t come to an end, my friend.

So, if you are at a low point on the emotional rollercoaster which is creativity (or most careers!), that just means there are more opportunities ahead, there is work that you can do and, most importantly, there is still fun to be had. In times of disappointment, yes, go ahead and have a game plan, but it’s important to remember the joy your area of knowledge brings you. Just look for the fun.

Oh, and my final thought, you are not someone else and you can’t aspire to another person’s career. You are you and your timeless and talents are unique. Celebrate that!

are unique. Celebrate that!

Paid subscribers can send me songs, creative writing and audio tracks for feedback on singing, songwriting and commercial potential. I always look forward to hearing your work. Sorry I can’t offer it to everyone, but I would be swamped!