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It is March. I am standing in my kitchen in my PJs, eating Christmas candy that I purchased from the Goodwill. To be clear, it was not my intention to be eating yuletide-themed confections on the precipice of spring, like Miss Havisham, but for snacks. It s just that sometimes in life we find ourselves in The post It s March. Here s My Review of Some Christmas Candy I Found At the Goodwill.…
Despite my numerous protestations, several letters to the editor, and one shockingly well-funded Kickstarter, Thanksgiving is somehow upon us again. If you are anything like me (clinically depressed and awesome), you are wondering how we ended up here again. In my case, I assume it s punishment for the time I said Vince Vaughn was kind The post This Holiday Season, Be A Selfish Cook. appeared…
Hello. Hi. It s me. Hey. Howya doing? Yeah, ME, TOO. (Sobs turn into maniacal laughing.) (Slowly transforms into The Joker.) It was a tough year before this past Tuesday, to be honest. If someone had asked me, I would have easily marked it one of the most difficult ones of my personal and professional life. The post It is Time For Our Cockroach Era appeared first on The Everywhereist .
★★★ Idea Has Potential. I don t hate the idea of this book. It feels like the author (full disclosure: it me) doesn t really have a clear idea of it, and instead of writing the book they keep getting distracted and reading about dysfunctional relationships on reddit. I keep calling it a book proposal even The post Goodreads Reviews I Left for Myself While Writing My Book appeared first on The…
People keep reminding me it is January. I consider this an act of aggression. I keep writing October on all my checks. I also keep writing 1997. I also keep writing checks? What the hell is even going on with January, anyway? How can a January ever possibly feel normal? The year just started; the The post A Dry January, All Year Long. appeared first on The Everywhereist .
It s the Tuesday before Thanksgiving and as holidays bear down upon us, I find myself repeating the same refrain again and again: You do not need to make pumpkin pie from scratch. You do not need to make anything from scratch. You do not need to recreate a family recipe passed down for generations. Your The post Invisible Pie Labor. appeared first on The Everywhereist .
Look, look, here s the thing: I have watched the footage of Taylor Swift running towards Travis Kelce and hugging him a bazillion times now, and if you are a person who is alive and has a internet connection, or even a person who doesn t have an internet connection, even if you are just a dead The post Why we need to stop regarding Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce s romance as something remarkable…
While conducting an archeological dig of my office, unearthing crumbling notebooks that contained the early drafts of all the books I have written, and all the books I intended to write but somehow did not, I found a box of old photos. They were from a summer I d spent in Europe when I was 20 The post Hindsight is the Best Filter appeared first on The Everywhereist .
You might have heard by now (from me, and the way I keep talking about it all the time, on this site, and also on social media, and in real life) THAT I HAVE A NEW BOOK COMING OUT. (Not apologizing for the all caps. I m excited.) And if you haven t already pre-ordered, please consider The post Enter The Goodreads Giveaway and Win an Advance Copy of My Book appeared first on The Everywhereist .
I am old enough to remember when the Internet was a largely useless place for most people. My college dormmates would sit patiently, waiting hours for image files to download in large ribboned chunks, in hopes of something salacious appearing. If the image was mislabeled, they could find that they d waited a good twenty minutes The post Sometimes It Is Okay to Not Talk About the Awful Things.…