How to be more consistent

Hello friends,

Welcome to the last lesson of Evermuse Summer School. Today, we are talking about how to be more consistent, and I feel like this topic covers so much that we don’t actually need another piece on it for Wednesday. Which means this is officially our last Summer School class. But of course, there is still a workbook, and I hope you’ll like it.

Today, we are talking about consistency. So, let me start by asking you: what do you think being consistent actually means?

Does it mean setting a goal and never, ever skipping a day? Showing up for it every single day, no matter what?

Of course, there are people who are capable of this, but I don’t think that’s the case for most of us. We humans set goals, write down our to-do lists, get excited about our new plans… and then skip half the list a few days later.

And honestly, I don’t think that’s necessarily the problem. What matters is our willingness to try again.

This is why I am almost certain that even if you don’t see yourself as someone who is consistent, you still have at least one habit that you are actually very consistent with.

Think about it. And if you can’t think of anything, let me help you. You probably brush your teeth every single day.

And even if you skip a day for some reason, the next morning you probably brush them anyway. You don’t think to yourself, “I didn’t brush my teeth yesterday, that means I can’t do this every day. Let me just stop brushing my teeth completely.”

See?

You are actually consistent.

But if you are reading this, you probably don’t feel like you are consistent enough when it comes to the bigger things that matter to you. And the good news is, there are a few things we can do about this.

Let’s start by understanding the problem.

Most of us actually don’t have a consistency problem. We have a dopamine problem.

And once you understand this, staying consistent starts to make a lot more sense. Because becoming someone who doesn’t constantly postpone things, who works on her dreams and follows through on the things that matter to her, is partly about learning to choose quality dopamine over cheap dopamine.

What does this mean?

Well, dopamine is heavily involved in motivation, learning, reward, and anticipating something we want. And this is important because our brains are constantly asking:

“What can I do right now that will feel good?”

And most of the time, we are caught between working toward something we actually care about and opening Instagram for “just five minutes.” (Those five minutes are never actually just five minutes.)

Unfortunately, Instagram usually wins.

Because there is a big difference between immediate reward and delayed reward. Watching a video gives you something immediately. Just like eating junk food does.

But working out, reading a book, studying a language, building your business, writing, learning an instrument, or working toward almost any meaningful goal usually asks you to wait. You have to do the thing first. The reward comes later.And our brains are not always particularly patient.

This is why consistency can feel so difficult, even when you genuinely care about what you’re trying to achieve.

We’ve already talked about how we need to find our goal, find our why, find a way to remind ourselves of that why, and start living a tiny part of the life we want to achieve, even if that part is really small.

We also talked about a few mindset changes we needed to make along the way, like making peace with changing plans, romanticizing the process, and building little rituals around our goals.

So, if you’ve been following Evermuse Summer School, you already know a lot of the things you could do.

But there is one more thing we need to talk about. Because knowing what to do is one thing. Believing that you can actually do it is another. And I think this might be the part we’ve been missing.

I know, I know. It is said easier than it is done. But hear me out. Think about what happens when you skip a day and that little voice appears:

“See? I knew I wouldn’t stick to it.”

Now you’re not just dealing with the missed day. You are collecting evidence for a belief you already had about yourself. And it’s not exactly the best way to use neuroplasticity, our brain’s superpower that we are actually pretty lucky to have, if we learn how to use it right.

Here is the thing, every time you choose the immediate reward over the thing you said you cared about, your brain gets a little more familiar with that pattern.

But the good news is that this works both ways. If you choose the thing that matters to you, you could also teach your brain that you are consistent and you are someone who can follow through.

This is where I want to bring back something we talked about earlier this summer, which is self-efficacy.

Self-efficacy is basically our belief in ourselves that we can handle challenges and figure things out. It’s about believing that even if you do fail, you’ll eventually find a way through.

And I think we can use self-efficacy to help us become more consistent.

Because at the end of the day, consistency isn’t about never missing a day or never losing motivation. It’s about our willingness to keep going and not give up every time we skip a day or life gets in the way.

So, here are a few ways we can use self-efficacy to become more consistent.

• Change your understanding of consistency: This is probably the biggest mindset shift you could make. If you believe that being consistent means never missing a day, every mistake becomes proof that you are not capable of doing it.

• But if consistency means returning, then missing a day is simply part of the process. So, instead of making a promise like: “I will work on my business every single day for the next six months.” Try: “When I miss a day, I will come back the next day.”

  This is a much more believable promise. And every time you keep it, you are giving your brain another reason to trust you.

• Make consistency visible: Sometimes we just need a little evidence because apparently our brains have selective memory. So, give yourself some receipts. Use the little tracker in the workbook, make a note on your phone, put a tiny tick on your calendar, whatever you like.

• Borrow belief from other people: When you are trying to become someone new, sometimes you don’t have enough evidence yet to believe in yourself. But you could always borrow it.

  Find someone who is doing the thing you want to do. Someone who makes you think: “Oh. Maybe this is actually possible.”, someone who can inspire you to be more consistent. If you want to start a business, this could look like following people who show what building one actually looks like. If you want to learn a skill, you could find someone documenting themselves learning it from the beginning.

  But please don’t only consume their finished results. Look for their beginnings, early attempts, the mistakes, the things they didn’t know yet.

• Make a “restart ritual”: When you’ve been away from something for a few days, returning to work can feel harder than starting in the first place. So, create a little ritual for returning. Make your favourite drink, put on a playlist, clean your desk, open your notebook, make a “restart” ritual out of it.

• Try the “future me” test: The next time you’re stuck between something that feels good right now and something that will make you feel good later, ask yourself: “What would future me thank me for?” Maybe it’s doing 20 minutes of work before opening Instagram. Maybe it’s going to bed instead of watching just one more episode (we both know where that ends). Maybe it’s preparing something tonight that will make tomorrow morning easier.

• Give yourself a “done list”: try ending the day by writing down what you did do instead. It can be tiny: “I read five pages.” “I worked on my project for 15 minutes.” “I came back after skipping yesterday.” It might feel silly at first, but you are basically teaching your brain to notice the evidence instead of only collecting reasons why you’re behind. And I think we could all use a little more of that.

That’s it for our last Summer School lesson. 🥹

But of course just like the last two weeks, there is a little workbook to help you actually put all of this into practice. It includes templates and exercises to help you be more consistent with your goals and build evidence that you are actually someone who does things.

You can download it by clicking here.

• The Consistency Workbook - A4

• The Consistency Workbook- Letter Size

Thank you for spending three weeks of your summer with me at Evermuse Summer School. I hope these little lessons gave you something to take with you, something to try, or maybe just a new way of looking at your everyday life.

I’m rooting for you, always.

See you on Wednesday 💌

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