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It’s always a running joke with fundamentalist Christian men — one among many — that the overlap between their severe masculine insecurity issues, their closet case-grade homophobia, and their religious beliefs is just three concentric circles in one big gay Venn diagram. Introduce yourself to Pastor Martin Sedra, who would like to introduce you to Jesus’s perfect abs.
SEDRA: America has created this gay, effeminate Christianity. They view God through a Western lens, they think Jesus was a weak figure, who was a tolerant guy.
See how he equates “tolerant” with “weak”? For conservative Christian men like Martin Sedra, the very idea of somebody embodying all the features Jesus was known for is a marker of weakness, because it brings a terrifying vulnerability into the equation that men like this have had beaten and scared out of them by their own unfit fathers and religious leaders, who had it beaten and scared out of them by their unfit fathers and religious leaders, etc. and so forth.
In this view, it sounds like you can’t be a real man unless you’re an abuser. (And we wonder why so many fundamentalist Christian religious leaders get caught raping and abusing children?)
SEDRA: We view Jesus carrying a nice little lamb, every picture you see him in, his hair is flowing, carrying a nice lamb.
Is it gay to be nice to animals now?
SEDRA: The Jesus I see was a bold and courageous man who, people wanted to kill him for what he said. America has created this gay version of Jesus Christ. Jesus was not effeminate. Jesus was a bold lion. I always tell people Jesus was not a soft guy. He had six packs. He was the most ripped guy you'll ever meet. He was a very bold and courageous man, he flipped tables in the temple, he got a whip out, he literally destroyed people.
Man creating God in his own image? This sounds more like “Creating God in the image of your own personal Pornhub search history.”
“The Jesus I see,” he says. Where, bud? In your fantasies? When you’re masturbating, or doing your holy strokes or whatever euphemism you call it?
Tell us more about Jesus’s whip, queen.
Who is Martin Sedra? I had never heard of him, but he appears to be one of those “zeal of a convert” Christian pastors who spends his life explaining how the form of conservative Islam in Egypt he was raised under was totally inferior and different from the white dork fundamentalist Christian nationalism he preaches now, and warning that the scary Muslims are going to conquer the USA just like they did to Egypt, Morocco, Turkey and elsewhere. (Yeah, he’s that much of a useful idiot for white supremacist Christian nationalists.)
Not clear if he was raised Muslim or just raised Christian in Egypt. His YouTube bio says he was “raised in the midst of Christian persecution under Islamic rule,” which is quite vague but full of scare words intended for white Christian conservative morons, who would be too busy shitting their pants to ask questions.
Like a true beta boy conservative Christian man who knows exactly which men he’s supposed to say “yes sir” and “no sir” to, he preaches in MAGA t-shirts, though his church appears to be based in Sydney, Australia. He’s obviously an extremist homophobic pig.
But if you peruse his Instagram page, what also comes through is what a clown he is, and how much his entire life and career appear to be a trauma response to his own insecurities. This is a guy who seems to have taken all his “unspoken” prayer requests and turned them into his entire personality. (IYKYK.)
This is not a serious man who would command your respect if you saw him on the street, shaking a Bible at you, in other words.
Which brings me to how one of the funniest quirks of repressed conservative Christian men, which Sedra demonstrates dramatically in that clip, is their desperate psychological need to equate “gay” with “weak.” The (actually extremely nelly) lieutenant governor of Texas, Dan Patrick, did it yesterday, when he soothed himself and Republican male voters by saying Texas Democratic Senate candidate James Talarico can’t lift a 10-pound weight. (As if Patrick looks like he’s benching anything besides the TV remote.) Now wait, but Talarico isn’t gay, you say. You are correct. But their entire campaign against him is that he’s gay and vegan and weak, whereas they are strong and virile. So it’s of the same genre.
It’s funny, because up there Sedra said Jesus had “six packs,” which was a very good Freudian slip. Many gay men are indeed known for being gym-obsessed bros who have a six pack (or eight), and they’re in miles better fightin’ shape than Pastor Dumpy up there. But if Sedra wanted to make Jesus sound more like the average straight Republican man, he’d indeed have “six packs.” Probably of Natural Light or some other shitty, cheap beer.
Anyway, what’s of course also revealing here is that in his atrophied, abused brain, this man can’t see how a man who is gentle toward animals and has good hair cannot also simultaneously be a man of courage and bravery and boldness. How the same man who preached the Beatitudes, the things the apostle Paul describes as the fruits of the spirit (a list of qualities of which Pastor Sedra exhibits zero) can also be a guy capable of kicking ass when the time calls for it.
Also Sedra seems to have missed entirely why Jesus was flipping over tables in the first fucking place. Maybe he was too busy rubbing it to Jesus’s perfect V-Line.
Can you imagine what kind of AI images this guy might ask Grok to create on his personal computer, were he ever to go down a rabbit hole doing that some day? Hahahahahahahahahahaha.
THE JESUS I SEE HAS A SIX PACK! AND HIS HAPPY TRAIL IS NOT TOO THIN, NOT TOO THICK, JUST REALLY NATURAL LIKE HE DOESN’T TRIM, IT JUST GROWS THAT WAY! IT’S FUCKIN’ HOT!
Well, I’m not sure how to get out of this blog post now, so I’ll just leave you with those thoughts about Martin Sedra’s gay Jesus, which is fully inferior to our gay Jesus, who beats ass when it’s called for, but does it on behalf of the “least of these,” and also He is nice to lambs, which seems to bother Martin Sedra for some reason, because there’s nothing about this weirdo pastor that isn’t a giant red flag, seems like.
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