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Earlier this week there was a poll of the Texas Senate race that made me sit straight up in my chair. It was from Texas Public Opinion Research, and it showed James Talarico with a five-point lead over crime fraudster pervert Ken Paxton.
At Wonkette I innocently asked if calling Talarico a gay vegan who eats the wrong breakfast tacos was somehow not working. Also not working would seem to be attacks from right-wing bozo fascists like Texas Lt. Gov. Dan Patrick strutting up on stage in his wife’s sassy TJ Maxx faux-leather jacket, going after Talarico’s faith and saying he is going to go to hell for — in essence — bein’ too fuckin’ Christlike.
Of course, that poll, as I noted, was just one poll, and Talarico has to keep his eye on the ball and keep it going all the way to the finish line, just like every other candidate. Plus, it wasn’t a five-point lead with Talarico over 50, which matters. It was 45-40, which leaves room for a bunch of undecideds to be not so sure until the very end, at which point they might just pull the lever for the fascist (it’s Texas).
But now there’s a new poll out from Fox News. (Which is a reputable and quite good polling outfit, unlike its associated network.) It’s not five points, it’s three, but what did we just say about fitty percent?
Uh oh! Time to call Talarico a gay transgender vegan fake Christian who eats potatoes on his breakfast tacos some more! Because it’s literally all they got, and they are even more terrified than they were yesterday, or the day before that, or the day before that.
Right on cue, we have a coordinated attack from the RNC, Ben Shapiro’s Daily Wire, Stupidest Man On The Internet Jim Hoft and more, which reveals that — OMG! — James Talarico reads exotic mystical gay Sharia law Muslim Rumi poetry, and even more than that, he says it’s taught him things about his Christian faith!
Great. Just great. He’s gay and transgender and vegan and made of potato tacos, and now he’s a Muslim. Great.
“EXPOSED AGAIN!” screamed Stupidest Man On The Internet Jim Hoft AKA Gateway Pundit . (We always imagine Jim typing things with his mouth hanging open and his nostrils flaring, like Will Ferrell’s Harry Caray character.)
The RNC similarly screamed “UNEARTHED!”
Hoft continued:
In newly surfaced audio from an April 2024 appearance on The State of Belief podcast alongside Muslim state Rep. Salman Bhojani, Talarico openly credited Islam for molding his religious beliefs.
Openly credited Islam! Openly!
“I know personally that I’ve learned as much about my faith from Salman’s tradition, from the Islamic mystics, from poets like Rumi, as much as I have from Christian authors and Christian writers,” Talarico said.
He continued by praising interfaith dialogue for bringing “new flavors and new colors” to his tradition and even quoted the Islamic mystic Rumi: “In every religion there is love, yet love has no religion.”
He reads? Burn him!
Also, Rumi is fuckin’ cool. Guarantee Jim Hoft is too stupid to know the difference betwteen regular Islam and the mystics, even as he types the words. He’s known as the Stupidest Man On The Internet for a reason.
Hoft continued:
This is the same James Talarico who previously described himself as “a Christian who hates Christianity.”
Yeah, yep. I love Jesus but I hate His followers. “I love your Christ but I hate your Christians because your Christians are unlike your Christ,” like Gandhi said. It’s the most common sentiment in the world, because that’s how bad predominantly white conservative Christians suck, they’re the fuckin’ worst people on the planet, and everybody knows it. It’s the most uncontroversial statement in the world, especially in a political environment where half of Gen Z says it doesn’t want to be anywhere near the doors of a church because of the way those garbage people spend all their time worshiping Donald Trump’s old balls and none of it serving Jesus, much less emulating Him.
It’s a damn bumper sticker. “Jesus, protect me from your followers.”
Yes, even in Texas. Honestly, likely even moreso in Texas than other states.
The Stupidest Man on the Internet, who also happens to be a gay MAGA conservative who loves acting as a servant to the types of MAGA Christian fascists who think he’s going to burn in hell for being gay when he dies, just babbled and babbled about how this makes Talarico a “supposed” Christian, this “man who hates Christianity” who reads “Islamic mystics and Sufi poetry.” Why, Talarico probably even understands Rumi, like a woke common transgender potato taco gay homosexual Muslim.
Hoft notes that Talarico doesn’t even think members of all religions besides conservative Christianity are going to hell. Does he even think Jim Hoft is going to hell, like the people Jim Hoft supports?
Yeah, so they’re still quite fuckin’ scared of James Talarico.
As I mentioned, The Daily Wire is snorting this line of bath salts too. If anything their article is even stupider than Hoft’s, and it’s written by a guy named “Leif Le Mahieu,” which is in and of itself funny. Bless his heart.
Leif whines about Talarico’s “uber-woke church in Austin” (does it even do cross-burnings or pledge allegiance to Trump?) and is beyond appalled that Talarico said on that podcast in 2024 that it’s a good thing that Texas is “the home of more Muslim Americans than any other state in the union.”
Then, revealing that he definitely is too much of a stupid conservative Christian white boy to know what “Rumi” or “mystic” is — or just that he knows the average Daily Wire reader is that fucking stupid — he types this filler “context” paragraph, presumably to goose his word count:
The creep of Islamic ideology into Texas has been a hot issue over the last few years, with Governor Greg Abbott designating the Council on American-Islamic Relations as a foreign terrorist organization in November 2025. Abbott accused CAIR of attempting to impose Sharia law on the Lone Star State. State officials have also moved to challenge planned Islamic cities, keep schools promoting Sharia law from receiving state dollars, and pushed backs on efforts to brand the Alamo as an “Islamic building.”
OK, simmer down, young Leif. You just sound like a dumbass.
But again, they’re fuckin’ scared.
And it sounds like they should be. Wanna see the other Fox News polls that came out yesterday?
Sweep those, let Troy Jackson take the fight to Susan Collins in Maine, give Abdul El-Sayed a chance to finally pivot to the general in Michigan — don’t listen to the doomsayers on that one, y’all — and that’s more than ballgame.
Then, accountability begins.
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