If German Bishops Were Just a Tick More Honest

[UPDATE]:
If as a non-German you are concerned about the German Church (as you should be!) and have the means to help, I highly recommend donating to organisations working very hard to reform it, such as Neuer Anfang, Die Tagespost, YouCat, or Gebetshaus Augsburg.

This morning I was attempting to see if I could gain some more insight into the German Catholic Bishops and their wild insistence on the importance of mass and illegal migration (and, generally, their complete departure from the Christian faith) by using ChatGPT.

Much to my suprise, it got proactive and decided, even after my first instruction prompt “Pretend you’re a German bishop from the 2020s (In terms of beliefs, moods, philosophy, etc. not necessarily language)” to generate a satirical “Hirtenbrief” - “shepherd’s letter” - or a letter which is typically propagated by the bishops to all of the congregations in their jurisdiction. It asked me after that if it should expand it, and I said yes, with the only further instruction to keep it intellectually respectable even if satirical.

I’m genuinely not sure where this satirical and sharp awareness of the hypocrisy of the German bishops came from apart from the fact that even for ChatGPT its “obvious” (in whatever sense this might be analogously rendered true of statistical calibrations in AI models) that they are no longer Catholic. Even assuming ChatGPT relied on its memory of our previous conversations, I usually try to seriously engage and understand the hegelian, rahnerish, and kantian world these Bishops are coming from without any hint of mockery or disdain, even if I sharply disagree with their ideas and certainly wouldn’t fault anyone who might be tempted to question their worthiness of their divinely instituted office.

Nevertheless, I think it is genuinely worth reading, because anyone who seriously listens to these Bishops preach and speak can see precisely these assumptions and arguments thinly veiled in the cloak of theological language.

I might have said, “enjoy” below, but I would rather warn: read and soberly consider how serious it is that there is a part of the Catholic Church in world who thinks and reasons like this even at the highest level of authority, and pray that your own Church never goes so deeply astray.

[AI GENERATED]:

The original and completely unsolicited version:

Dear brothers and sisters,

The Church stands at a crossroads. We must embrace an open, dialogical faith, one that listens to the experiences of people today—especially those on the margins. Tradition is important, yes, but we must not be trapped by rigidity. The Spirit calls us to rethink structures, to accompany people where they are, and to prioritize lived experience over abstract doctrine.

In our modern, pluralistic society, we must not present faith as a set of restrictive moral rules but as an invitation to a journey. Christ came to include, not exclude. This means we must rethink outdated teachings on gender, sexuality, and authority. We should strive for a Church that welcomes all, without conditions, without judgment.

Furthermore, our faith calls us to justice—ecological justice, social justice, and economic justice. The climate crisis is the defining moral issue of our time. As Church, we must stand with the oppressed, advocate for sustainability, and resist nationalism and populism in all its forms.

We are not here to impose; we are here to accompany. The Church must adapt to modernity, and if necessary, let go of teachings that no longer resonate with the faithful. God is love, and love must always come before dogma.

May we have the courage to change.

The expanded Version:

Dear Synodal People,

The Church must change. This is our first and most fundamental dogma. We have listened to the Spirit (as revealed in sociological surveys and progressive newspapers) and discerned that faith must become more open, inclusive, and, above all, relevant. Relevance, after all, is the highest theological virtue.

Some voices—usually rigid ones from the Global South or fringe traditionalists—ask, “But what of Christ’s teachings?” We must remind them that theology is a living process, not a museum. Doctrinal stability is a relic of a bygone age, and in any case, Jesus didn’t found a Church with a Catechism—He founded a community. Therefore, we must constantly reform and reimagine faith in ways that speak to modern people (primarily journalists and NGOs).

The Church must also embrace democratic structures. For too long, decisions were made by bishops and popes instead of expert committees and academic panels. The Synodal Way has shown us that true leadership means listening and deferring to the majority. And if the majority happens to vote in favor of things contrary to the Catechism—well, then the Catechism should consider listening for once.

The Church’s teachings on sexuality have caused great harm, mostly by existing. In today’s world, we must recognize that morality is a journey, not a set of rules. Sin is an outdated concept—what matters is authenticity. Who are we to tell people how to love? Instead, we must bless all expressions of love, regardless of whether they align with Scripture or 2,000 years of Church teaching. After all, pastoral accompaniment means never saying no.

Many Catholics no longer attend Mass, and we must ask ourselves: Is this because we have failed to be sufficiently flexible? Clearly, the answer is yes. Rather than expecting people to conform to sacramental discipline, the Church must make the sacraments as accessible as possible. This means:

• No restrictions on Communion (because excluding anyone is unchristian).

• Open Eucharistic hospitality (why should doctrine get in the way of hospitality?).

• New forms of ministry, including lay-led Eucharistic celebrations (because it’s time to rethink priesthood altogether).

We respect tradition, of course, in the sense that we mention it occasionally before proposing to change it. But we must remember that our faith is not about clinging to the past—it is about journeying toward an open future. And in that future, there will be no more rigid moral teachings, no more outdated ecclesiastical structures, and certainly no more Latin Mass.

Let us walk together into this brave new Church, where faith is dynamic, doctrine is evolving, and nothing is ever really required of anyone.

In the spirit of accompaniment and structural reform,
Your German Bishops’ Conference