I’m the Bridge That Grants Wishes

They call me the Bridge of Sighs.

I live in Barranco, a bohemian neighborhood in Lima, Peru. Well, technically, I’m not alive. Not by your standards. I’m a timber pedestrian bridge, lined with balustrades, spanning a 31-meter section of the ravine called La Bajada de Baños.

But I do listen.

There’s a myth someone made up about me: supposedly, I grant wishes to anyone who crosses me while holding their breath. Back before they started renovating me, people traveled from all over the world to do this. The myth is a lie, though. I only grant wishes to the people I like.

One time, an American tourist was on a second date with a local Peruvian he’d met three days earlier. While crossing me, they both wished that they’d marry each other one day. The American lives here now and they’ve been together for over three years. (I granted that one.)

But right after that, a 15-year-old pituco (rich kid) crossed me and wished that his girlfriend would grow bigger boobs. I did not grant that one. In fact, they broke up on the other side of me, so he might have accidentally said his wish out loud.

Just today, someone came all the way from Trujillo to see me, only to find that I was swaddled in construction sheeting and protective mesh. Even so, he made a wish from just beneath me — close enough that I could hear. Normally, I would have taken pity on him and granted his wish, even though he didn’t cross me. The only problem was that he wished he could become a lifestyle influencer making a billion dollars selling Viagra. Nope. I’ve had so many lifestyle influencers cross me and wish everyone else would get out of the way of their selfies. The world does not need more influencers.

Actually, that brings me to my main point. Since you’re listening, can you tell everyone to stop making such petty wishes? After they open me up again, I mean. Students wish for canceled exams. Husbands wish for Peru to win the World Cup before they die. One woman even wished that her sister’s baby would be ugly. I didn’t grant that one, but the baby was ugly anyway, which has caused some confusion about my powers.

Granting petty wishes just takes so much out of me. I’m getting close to burnout.

Oh, and there are the wishes that break my heart: that someone’s partner of 50 years might return from the dead, that a loved one might suddenly wake from a coma. I cannot grant those; I can only help the people who visit me.

But can I give you a word of advice? I’ve heard people wish for money, thinner waists, thicker hair, American visas, Argentinian World Cup losses, revenge, forgiveness, and once, very specifically, for a neighbor’s dog to stop barking at 5:40 every morning. But no one has ever wished to be good.

Please. Please. Visit me and wish to be good. I will grant your wish in a heartbeat.