Sunlight filtering through the windows. It’s worth being alive to see beams of light stretch out toward the living room floor, like fingers reaching for the soft carpet. I chose that carpet so carefully because I knew exactly what experience I wanted it to give me. The satisfaction of curating things to create an experience is another reason to be alive.
And food. Despite my sometimes fraught relationship with food, I love it. I love it salty. I love it acidic. I love it sweet. I even love when I’m not sure I like it but for some reason I am compelled—a texture or a flavor that is just working, despite whatever else might be happening. Ugh, and I love when I am a little high and chewing is the most perfectly satisfying experience. When eating a bowl of pasta or a bag of chips feels like a massage for my gums, which probably means I need to floss more. And who knows! Maybe I will! Maybe one day I will be someone who flosses daily! I have become so many things I never thought I would be because I stuck around.
Like, zines. Imagine I never lovingly and obsessively folded thousands of sheets of paper with my own two hands! Now that it’s happened it seems impossible that there could be a world where I didn’t. It always seems really beautiful and impressive when someone folds hundreds and hundreds of paper cranes. I don’t intend to fold any cranes (maybe one day! Who knows!), but I will fold a mountain of little paper booklets and send them out into the waiting world. My offering on the altar of reasons to live.
I didn’t plan for this segue, but I have some zine events this month. If you’re in the LA area, come see me and my little booklets IRL.
LA Queer Zine Fest - Sunday, May 17 • 11 AM - 5 PM
Biggest Little Zine Fair - Sunday, May 31 • 11 AM - 3 PM
Please tell me some of your reasons to be alive.
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