A Psychic Remembering

How are you feeling in this eclipse portal? Are you feeling like these eclipses are intensifying for you? Are you feeling rebirthed? Cause holy mackerel, this week I have been ROCKED, in the greatest, most intentional, and embracing way…

Zach, my dear husband, left this week for a 6 day long men’s retreat up in the Mendocino redwood forest, led by Michael Meade (our fav).. He is completely disconnected- no wifi, no reception, no outside contact.. In a strange way, I am mirroring that back from home. What I thought would be a potentially hard week of solo parenting, has actually been the lightest, most surprisingly transformative experience. I intentionally shut down everything in the hours I had to myself. I went completely analog, and just sat at the tea table.

Let me preface by saying- I have not had both of my children in school/camp along with my husband gone and us not speaking in over 9 years. Prior to family life I thrived in complete solitude. I crave space and alone time. I have my entire life. I feel too deeply, so naturally, I need space away from all outside energy to fully connect with Self and spirit. However, I was not prepared to meet this old/ rebirthed Self this week.. It has been quite intense, powerful and beautiful all at the same time..

Lucky for me- and so divinely timed- I started off this solo week with a reading from none other than the goat- Mary Grisey- whose reading helped define, or actually helped me to remember, the trajectory of my life. The reading was a reminder of who I am, and why I chose to come here, and what I am really here to share.

How easy it is for us all to get so distracted.. How easy it is for us to fill every ounce of space with the endless to-do’s, to-be’s, to-heals. I am seeing how performative it all is in a way. And how it is all so deeply serving ego, and not truly our deep core Self.. How strange to think of bodies- these strange suits- that we carry around with an ego intact. When we can allow ourselves the Space- real space- to get so deep, we remember that beneath all of this “body” is the REAL spirit- the REAL soul.

Michael Meade likes to share, “Change the soul, change the world”.. so simple, yet we are all too distracted to do so.

What would happen if, temporarily, we shut it all down? What if, temporarily, we were NOT all things to all people? What would happen if you removed social media from your life and reclaimed all of that energy?? What if we looked at ego as something separate- not something that is in the drivers seat??

This eclipse window- for me- has been a rebirthing. A literal phoenix rising from the ashes. A remembrance, a reclaiming.. Alignment back to the path I clearly veered so far from. Maybe out of fear of what went down when I turned 30, when I sent myself off to the Amazon jungle. So much unfolded in that experience- this is a whole story I will one day write, but I shut down a part of myself out of protection. And maybe that part I shut down was the most vital part of my being.

Since then, as I reflect backon thpast 12 years, I have definitely struggled. I really was not in alignment. I was not in touch with my true gifts that I came here to share. I was in survival mode, and struggled with my health due to it. I am seeing now that all of my autoimmune stemmed from NOT sharing the gifts I came into this life with. Hiding the parts of myself I was too afraid to share. Maybe out of fear of judgement, or fear of rejection, or fear of not being good enough, or whatever fear was picked up along the journey(s) of life…

I want to use this space to share more of my inner world and what is arising in me, to hopefully inspire YOU to do the same. I realize this might not be everyones cup of tea, and I honor your decision to no longer follow along on this ride. But, truth be told, I am weighed down from the hiding, the editing, the job (yes my literal job) to make everyone comfortable and feel good/seen/heard. The keeping my mouth shut.. Thats is no longer my expression.

I will continue to share wisdom here on hair, life, tea and all… but most importantly I need to share my truth.

I want to encourage you to get still and silent. Spirit is trying so hard to connect with us all, but we have to tune in. Maybe try to go analog for one hour- just see how it feels- discomfort and all! It has been life changing, and has brought all the clarity I needed. Just from unplugging from the chaos!

I will say there is no performative aspect to any of it… we all subscribe to the “way” every detail should be laid out, which is something to laugh out loud about..

The control we all have, and rightfully so, as the world around us is spinning faster, and powers beyond our control are creating even more chaos around us. Plus let us not discredit Pluto in Aquarius- the great transformer visiting the house of the great disrupter.. And obviously there is so much more weight in this significant astrological moment, and where you are/your birth chart, but man- I am really feeling like there is no escaping the inevitable. Surrender and you may be pleasantly surprised… I sure was, and still am!

I may start sharing more videos as writing is feeling quite challenging. This week just looking at a screen hasn’t felt in alignment. It did take me quite some time to write this.. haha, but I couldn’t break my weekly sharing.. it feels significant for some reason.

For this weeks hair insights, I actually am sharing me on video :)

Head over to By Candlelight, where Lacy and I drop in about her beautiful transformation with her hair, and how the past 3 months of letting go of all modern haircare has been going. She has been embracing the magic of nature and plant remedies for a truly holistic approach to tending to her hair, in a deeply intentional and reverent way. It is very inspiring. Lacy is the ultimate Hair Expander and is such a wealth of knowledge with this approach to caring for hair. Check out our conversation here :)

Thank you all for following along here. I am so grateful to be connected to every one of you. What a gift! And please forgive my grammar errors, and typos.. my editor is OOO.. and hopefully frolicking happily in the woods, experiencing his own life transformation..

We are all so fortunate to be here. I hope you can find the time to slow down enough to witness the subtle beauty surrounding you always- remember it is just a reflection of YOU…