The UnTrump Nation

Trump seems to be underestimating Canada a bit, eh?

I wonder if he’s ever really talked to a Canadian for any length of time. Has he ever really watched a hockey game?

An unpleasant ego-driven child, Trump is the ultimate “Ugly American,” incapable of recognizing subtlety in any form, let alone that honed by a couple centuries of good manners. Manners are prophylactics for social intercourse. Trump doesn’t like them. Surprise.

There was pandemonium in the Oval office last week when it was time (last possible minute, actually) to make the final decision on a trade agreement with Canada. The U.S. trade representative Jamieson Greer just got hammered by Howard Lutnick, who carried water for the United Auto Workers, and Peter Navarro who belched out sulfurous trade deficit nonsense.

And someone, it sure sounds like something Trump himself would come up with, thought it would be great to bend “weak” Canada over a barrel by preventing the country from entering agreements with other nations. Oh, and maybe give up on speaking French. As if.

Unsurprisingly, Canada walked away. The White House spit and fumed and threw insults and tantrums and Trump renamed Lake Ontario “Lake America.” So there!!! Canada just calmly announced they would reluctantly match U.S. tariffs dollar for dollar, nodded politely, made a few more deals with China and Europe and offered top American scientists a sweet deal if they’d relocate north.

The tariffs will hurt a bit to be sure, but no more than a bloody nose in a hockey fight after gloves hit the ice. Canada will endure. Canadians are tough! They live where frozen lakes are roads in winter and endless wilderness is full of wolves! Canadians actually eat Timbits and muffins and drink battery acid coffee from a Tim Hortons! (albeit with two creamers and two sugars. But still…)

Trump has again (see: Iran war) underestimated an adversary. Remember, Trump is a serial bankrupt whose moral compass points only at himself, though he does have a superpower: he is absolutely immune to shame or embarrassment. But that’s a symptom, not an attribute.

The charlatan will be walking naked down the streets of Ottawa before Canada surrenders its sovereignty. Politeness is not submission. Just because they say “sorry” on the streets doesn’t mean they’re not tough in the game.

Elbows up, my Canadian friends.