I've had this conversation with a couple folks privately, so I'll open it up to a broader audience. Yep, I'm back on Meta products and using my smartphone instead of my candybar Sonim XP5900. Feel free to read more about the digital detox I took from October to February here, here, and finally (and embarrassingly) here.
I hate the absolute fuck out of Meta and everyone in its leadership. I think we will one day view big tech with the same fervent hatred we view big tobacco, and we will wonder why we allowed our kids on these platforms. My perspective has been informed by decades of Internet usage, study, and craft, not fear or apprehension. Anyone who knows me in real life probably knows it's much harder for me to communicate offline than on.
Hence the problem I, and many neurodivergent people, face: without social media, it's like we drop out of society and community, but, with it, we can get easily preoccupied by it. I'm attempting to strike a balance for myself between making socialization more accessible via tech, but without wasting time I could be spending on more fruitful endeavors.
I've tried some blocker apps and controls, but I'm a tech geek in recovery from addiction; I'm really good at getting around shit like that. I wanted to find something that worked on a psychological level before making this post, to recommend it to those who may be looking for the same balance I am. Please note that this is not sponsored. I don't do "sponsored."
Welcome to StayFree.
For anyone else looking to ration smartphone usage, I highly recommend StayFree. It's a free app that allows you to do a great many things, including turning Reels off, blocking sites and apps for specific lengths of time or entirely, and cleaning up your inbox of annoying spam. That's not why I'm recommending StayFree, though. Lots of apps do those things.
I'm specifically recommending StayFree because of one feature: the Usage Challenge.
See, many blocker apps just tell you that your time is up and then that’s that, leaving you perfectly open to simply disabling the app or uninstalling it, which was always my problem for Facebook specifically. (I somehow am not hooked enough on Reels or TikToks anymore for this to be a problem. In fact, I tried to “relapse” on shortform video the other day by finding some from my old favorite creator that were at least three minutes long, but I got so sick of being shown what was basically a minutes-long ad in the form of a “haul” that I walked away quickly.) Anyway, easy challenges are often too easy for people with a screen preoccupation. Although StayFree does have a PIN, sometimes what happens with things like PINs or total uninstalls is you end up wasting more time than you would’ve just having the website or app available in the first place.
What I like about the Usage Challenge is that it creates an actual lengthy challenge that requires you to really sit with yourself before you proceed with breaking the rule. And what challenge would that be?
The Usage Challenge in StayFree is a paragraph of about 100 words all about how you are wasting your time trying to go on whatever app or website it is you’ve blocked for yourself. Essentially, you will have to admit to your phone that your phone is playing you, and internalize all the humiliation and shame that comes with it, however quickly you can type or swype on your stupid little box. In my case, my fingers are ridiculously nimble, and it still took me a few minutes to get through the whole paragraph. By that point, I was simultaneously no longer interested in whatever I was looking to do and ashamed at how, essentially, I was doing the digital equivalent of counting couch change and buying rotgut vodka with it.
Will this technique work on everyone? Almost certainly not. But it’s a lot more effective than just asking people for a PIN or to download an app. The time it takes you to type out the paragraph alone is enough to use your tiny screenworn attention span to help you. Usually, when someone pulls up Facebook or Instagram or TikTok, they’re just looking for a little break. How much do you want to do that break after you’ve just had to type out a whole paragraph about how much you suck for needing that break?
Anyway, if you have any tips, tricks, or tools you’ve found help you have “just a little” screen fix, feel free to recommend them. Upon receipt of my Communicator—tick fucking tock, Clicks!—I’ll be compiling a list of tried-and-true resources for combatting screen preoccupation without going Full Luddite.
I’m no longer sticking to a post schedule. I got burnt out on it. And a lot of things in my life. I’ve been prioritizing fun and in-person friendship more these days, for the better. This post is in furtherance of my goals towards that! I will be posting on a sporadic and spontaneous basis moving forward.
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