[This is the second of two letters from November 25th.]
Tullius greets his Terentia, his Tulliola, and his little Cicero.
I have been informed through various letters and in every conversation of your incredible virtue and fortitude; and that you have not been exhausted by your mental and physical efforts. It is misery to think that you and all your virtue, loyalty, honesty, and kindness have ended up suffering so much on my account, and that our Tulliola, whose father used to bring her so much joy, now feels so much grief because of him! And what should I say about my little Cicero, who only just began to understand the world, and then felt the bitterest pain and misery?1
If I thought (as you write) that this was down to fate, I would endure it a little easier. But everything that has happened has been my fault. I thought that I was loved by people who were jealous of me, and I did not follow those who requested me.2 But if I had thought with more intelligence, and if the talk of friends who were either stupid or awful had not been so strong an influence, we would have lived and been perfectly happy.
Now, since our friends order us to have hope, I shall try to match your efforts with my strength. I understand the magnitude of the situation, and how much easier it would have been to stay at home than it is now to return. But still, if we have all the Tribunes of the Plebs on our side; if Lentulus is as devoted as he seems; if we really do also have Pompey and Caesar with us, then we need not despair.
About the household, I shall do as you tell me my friends have decided. About where I am, the pestilence has now passed, and despite its long duration, it did not affect me. Plancius, that most dutiful man, wishes for me to stay with him, and keeps me here. I wanted instead to be somewhere deserted in Epirus, where neither Piso nor his soldiers would come—but Plancius still keeps me here.3 He hopes he will be able to depart for Italy with me.4 If I get to see that day, and feel your embrace, and recover both you and my own self—that will seem like a great enough reward for the duty we have both shown one another.
Piso’s5 kindness, virtue, and love for me could not possibly be greater. If only this situation brought him joy! Although I think it will bring him glory. About my brother Quintus, I don’t accuse you of anything—but I wanted you both to be close, especially since there are so few of you on my side. I have thanked the people you wanted me to thank, and told them that it was you who let me know.6
But you write to say to me, my Terentia, that you are about to sell a row of houses.7 I beg you—what will happen? And if fortune continues to crush me, what misery will our son face? I am unable to write more—I am crying too hard, and I don’t want to start you crying too. I write only: if our friends are dutiful, you will not lack money; if they are not, you cannot accomplish anything with your own money. See how pitiful our fortunes are—and make sure we don’t bankrupt our bereaved boy! If he has enough to stay out of poverty, he only needs some degree of virtue and some degree of luck, and the rest will follow.
Take care of your health, and send me letters so that I know what is happening and what you all are doing. I have only a short wait now.8 Say hello to Tulliola and my little Cicero for me. Farewell.
I came to Dyrrachium, because it is a free city, and it is ready to help me, and is nearer to Italy. But if I do not like the crowds here, I shall take myself somewhere else, and write to you.
Sent November 25th, from Dyrrachium.
Latin text of Cic. Fam. 14.1 | Glossary | Where is Cicero?
Cicero’s son was 6 when Cicero went into exile.
Shackleton Bailey thinks this refers to Caesar’s offers to help Cicero avoid exile, by offering him a legateship.
The soldiers of Lucius Calpurnius Piso Caesoninus, who was consul in 58 and would govern Macedonia from 57.
Plancius’ term as quaestor would end at the end of the year, and he would return to Italy.
This Piso is Cicero’s son-in-law, and not the future governor of Macedonia mentioned earlier in the letter.
I have no clue what the drama was here.
Terentia’s dowry included several apartment blocks that she rented out. As these belonged to her, they were not confiscated when Cicero was exiled. Cicero asks her not to sell her own property to raise funds to recall him from exile, because he doesn’t want their son to have no source of income if Cicero cannot return from exile.
He had just told Atticus that if something did not happen soon, he would have no hope…
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