SONGS THAT CAPTURE MY (MESSIEST) FEELINGS

When I tell people I’m a writer they tend to follow up with what do you write? The answer to that question is complicated. Over the years, I have had the privilege of being paid to write television pilots, a feature film, multiple novels, two non-fiction books, a whole lot of sketch comedy, several articles for major news outlets, and one scripted podcast that was, in my opinion, cancelled far too soon. (Justice for Gossip!)

The one thing I have never even attempted, though, is song lyrics.

Music, to me at least, has an ethereal quality that seems far beyond my reach. As much as I love to read and watch, I never feel anything as viscerally in my body as I do a great song. Listening to music has gotten me through the worst moments of my life and brought about the most joy as I bust a move on the dance floor or in the privacy of my own home. While other people are more drawn to the melody or beat, I focus exclusively on the lyrics. If you aren’t telling me a good story, I’m not interested. No matter how catchy the harmony or whatever makes up the instrumental part of a song is called.

As someone who works in longer mediums, I find it remarkable how quickly a great song can get to the heart of the complicated mess of being human. What often takes a novelist three hundred and fifty pages to convey can come alive in three minutes and fifty seconds with the right songwriter. I’ve been told it’s not sorcery, but I still have my suspicions.

I think we can all relate to hearing a new lyric for the first time and thinking YES, THAT IS EXACTLY HOW I FEEL ABOUT THAT SPECIFIC THING. When that happens, we feel it in our bones, because music takes us out of our head and into our bodies. (Another element that sets it apart from other forms of writing.)

To help prove my point, here are some of my favorite life-clarifying lyrics:

But you know that she’s watching/ She’s laughing, she’s turning/ She’s holding her tonic like a crux/ The room’s suddenly spinning/ She walks up and asks how you are / So you can smell her perfume/You can see her lying naked in your arms.

Song: Sometime Around Midnight

Artist: Airborne Toxic Event

This whole song is a masterpiece in heartbreak, but this verse in particular gets to the core of how strange it is for your ex’s role in your life to dramatically change. This person you once knew so intimately is now just an acquaintance you’re making awkward small talk with. That transformation is maddening and we are all supposed to act like it’s no big deal.

I’m sick of the things I do when I’m nervous /Like cleaning the oven or checking my tires/ Or counting the number of tiles in the ceiling../Head for the hills, the kitchen’s on fire!

Song: Everything Is Alright

Artist: Motion City Soundtrack

If OCD had an anthem this would be it. What a delight to have your mental illness portrayed in such a catchy way!

Sue me, I want to be wanted.

Song: Sue Me

Artist: Audrey Hobert

Simple and direct, Audrey exposes something we aren’t supposed to admit. It’s appealing to be like/loved/adored. The sentiment applies both personally and professionally and I feel like it gives me permission to be ambitious.

You bleed just to know you’re alive

Song: Iris

Artist: Goo Goo Dolls

This is probably one of the first songs that gave me that aha moment, which is a good way of telling you I grew up with depression. As a teen, Iris normalized not having a positive connection with, well, being alive. It was a helpful to hear other people vocalize the feelings that scared me.

Help, I’m still at the restaurant/ Still sitting in a corner I haunt

Song: Right Where You Left Me

Artist: Taylor Swift

This song does an excellent job of visualizing what it can feel like when you’re unable to move on after a breakup. Everyone else is going about their lives and you are still stuck in the moment when your world fell apart. Been there (more than once).

And when you say you won’t forget me / Well I can tell you that’s untrue/ ‘Cause every day since you left me/ I thought less and less of you

Song: Changing of the Seasons

Artist: Two Door Cinema Club

A powerful reminder that with enough time and active healing, you start to forget the people that hurt you. They will eventually take up less of your brain space and what a relief that will be.

I’m so tired, or maybe just bored /I can’t really tell the difference whenever I’m talking to you

Song: Fine, Great

Artist: Modern Baseball

It was hard to pick a favorite line from this one because it’s full of brilliant insights about soul-sucking relationships. (A runner up: But it’s crucial to blot out any/Signs that I might have feelings/This way, you don’t ask me “how am I?”/This way you won’t force me to proceed/With actually having to tell you my worries/With actually having you give a damn about me.) We’ve all gotten sucked into the vortex of someone who doesn’t really care about us and hearing that laid out so clearly makes you ( or at least me) want to break free.

Thought a broken heart could write a perfect song/And it did and I was right so now you’re gone

Song: Halls

Artist: Andrew McMahon In The Wilderness

In just one sentence, McMahon nails the destructive desire some creatives have to blow up their life so they can make better art. For a long time, I thought I had to be miserable to be compelling. I’m glad to have outgrown that instinct but not the joy of listening to this haunting song.

And I’ll dream each night of some version of you/That I might not have, but I did not lose…/No, I am no longer funny, ‘cause I miss the way you laugh

Song: Stick Season

Artist: Noah Kahan

I know this song is intended to be about a romantic relationship, but I’ve taken a lot of comfort in viewing it through the lens of missing my mom. Kahan articulates grief in visceral and specific ways (Now you’re tire tracks and one pair of shoes/And I’m split in half, but that’ll have to do.) Not to mention, I dream of my mom constantly.

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That’s my list. I’d love to hear yours!

And if you ever feel lost or heartbroken, remember to turn on some good music. It’s hard to feel alone when someone is singing your feelings right back to you.

xoxo,

Allison

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