The Colleague Dilemma

Dear Emma,

I’ve been at my job for about a year now. I hit all my targets, my project deliverables are always on time, and my quarterly reviews have been glowing. I’m so happy with the job I do - it’s much better than my last role - and I feel like I’m actually doing good work. The problem is my direct manager, ‘Sarah’.

‘Sarah’ would probably say that we work well together but, from my perspective, she is very comfortable delegating her work to me, knowing full well I’ll get it over the line. The bigger problem perhaps is that Sarah doesn’t seem to have any boundaries. She has quite a long commute into the office so is usually on her phone, and sending work-related texts and emails, from just before 6am.

Sometimes I can be getting work messages well into the evening and if I don’t reply instantly, there’s usually a snarky comment or message that feels as though it’s subtly questioning my dedication to the role.

I am always at my desk a little before and stay a little later than my contracted hours of 9am to 5pm but it’s beginning to feel as though that’s not enough and that I may even be penalised for not going above and beyond.

I really love my job but at the same time as not wanting to always be ‘on call’ and available, I also don’t want to match her ‘always on’ energy because it’s stressful. I really enjoy my role and I’m good at it, but I can feel that if this carries on, it’ll begin to feel like more of an issue and I don’t want to be job hunting again this soon. Not in this economy!

How can I delicately manage the situation without causing any workplace issues or getting HR involved?

Dear Reader,

First of all, it sounds as though you’re doing a great job and doing so within your contracted hours. That’s not a lack of dedication, it’s high efficiency.

I don’t think you’re unreasonable for wanting to protect your personal time, especially when you are delivering great results.

Not wanting to excuse ‘Sarah’, but perhaps from her perspective she sees a highly efficient colleague who is quick to react to any task and delivers on time and to a high standard. I suspect you have previously kept ‘work’ within working hours, which means that Sarah’s behaviour, which sounds like the opposite, is a mismatch.

The fact you’re being sent messages in the early hours and well into the evening is a reflection of ‘Sarah’s’ routine, habits and time management, not yours. Where you may be methodical and structured, she’s a bit more off-the-cuff and chaotic. I doubt she’s deliberately taking advantage of you or micro-managing, and more following the path of least resistance. With that said, it doesn’t change the fact that you’re being ‘dumped on’ and she’s not taking into account the pressure that it is clearly putting on you.

And, on the subject of being dumped on: if the volume of delegated work itself becomes unmanageable during the day, use capacity management. Ask her to help you prioritise the tasks. Something like, ‘I can take this on, but to get it done today, I’ll need to push back Task X to tomorrow - which would you prefer I prioritise?’

I had a friend who went through something similar a little while ago. He had a boss who was always sending whatsapps and emails outside of working hours and, like you, he responded. The thing is, after a few months, he realised that one of his colleagues was also receiving similar messages but wasn’t responding until he was sitting at his desk and stopped responding when he logged off for the day. In my friend’s words, ‘I’ve created my own reality’. His colleague wasn’t penalised for it and was also not having to bear the weight of the stress of all the out-of-hours communications.