Grapefruit contains compounds that block an enzyme responsible for breaking down a lot of psychotropic medications. I didn’t know that when I first started taking antidepressants. Someone told me mid-swig of grapefruit juice.
Also, this is unrelated to this post, but did you know it can be life-threatening to do MDMA while on anxiety medicine?
Anyway. I’ve been thinking a lot about mental health lately. One thing on my mind is that in every instance where I’ve known someone who died by suicide, the people close to them mentioned social media, and how they compared themselves to others and struggled with feelings of inferiority.
In some of these instances, these were people who I was friends with on social media. Because of that, I’ve thought about how my social media presence may have been perceived by them.
In the past, when I thought of the whole “social media is a highlight reel” thing, I pictured people who intentionally try to create the impression that their life is perfect (e.g. people who post happy family photos in a corn field despite being on the brink of divorce.)
But I’ve realized there’s more to it than that. Social media is also a highlight reel because we aren’t taking pictures of ourselves when we’re miserable. It’s also often rude to post about negative things that happen to us because it usually involves others. There are so many reasons why it’s an illusion.
In the spirit of these thoughts, I’m writing this to share some behind the scenes realities of my own experiences with mental illness, especially in relation to writing:
I take medication before public speaking (and in general).
I have to lie on the ground after taking a phone call, or a Zoom call.
I’ve never left a public speaking event and felt good about myself.
I find myself masking or consciously managing how I speak to others regularly.
I struggle to re-read anything I’ve written in the past, and often feel deeply embarrassed by it.
I could go on, but I wanted to share some of this in the spirit of being more transparent, and in the hopes that if anyone has ever looked at my social media (or anyone’s social media, really) and felt bad, you should know that it really isn’t the whole picture. (And my above examples are just in relation to writing. I could really bore you with bullets about my general insecurities and failures…)
In my new book, IS THIS A CRY FOR HELP, the main character is recovering from a mental breakdown. She mentions that her workplace gives a lot of lip service to mental health; however, in practice, when someone takes a leave for their mental health, there’s still a lot of stigma. Sometimes, there are these associations with being mentally ill and being attention-seeking, or lazy, or other negative things. I think society has improved in some ways in relation to this, but it’s usually focusing on this sanitized version of mental health. There’s still a lack of true transparency and understanding, and that’s part of why everything is such an illusion.
Anyway. While writing this, I’ve discovered people taking meds for erectile dysfunction and for their hearts also shouldn’t eat grapefruit, so I’ll end this by saying that’s not who I meant this note for; however, I wish you the best with your hearts and your penises.
Take care,
Emily
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