A guidebook to mini family experiences abroad

One of the things that’s been on my mind this year is how to spend time intentionally abroad as a family. Of course, our day-to-day life is abroad as we live in Ireland, but I still want my kids to experience a third layer of cultures beyond their primary two. It’s still so valuable for them to hear other languages, see the world, and see how people live differently in different places.

Relocating abroad isn’t suitable or even possible for everyone for a variety of reasons, but that doesn’t mean you can’t spend time abroad as a family in shorter spans.

When American families do travel abroad, it’s often a packed itinerary where they travel to multiple destinations and multiple tourist destinations a day. They barely get over jet lag. They may not speak to any locals or see how families there live.

There are a few obvious reasons why American families either don’t travel abroad or only travel in these intensive vacation modes:

1. Cost: International flights can run $1,000 per person or more in the summer months, then you still need you pay for accommodations, food, transportation, and excursions.

2. Time: Many Americans are time-poor, with limited vacation time and hefty commitments to youth sports and other activities during school breaks.

3. FOMO: Because travelling abroad is such a big investment, it’s hard to resist the temptation of seeing as much as possible, as quickly as possible, chasing every place you’ve seen on Instagram.

4. Childcare: Even if parents have flexible schedules and the option to work remotely, going abroad means going without your daycare or support system (keep reading for some ideas).

5. Lack of resources: The biggest reason families don’t plan intentional, alternative trips abroad is that they don’t know how. They don’t know where to go or where to start. They might not know anyone who’s done a trip like that before.

I’m here to give you resources and tips on how to start! I grew up overseas, taking those third-layer trips with my family. Now I’m doing it with my own family, and I’ve learned a lot of lessons along the way. Meaningful family travel with kids is possible and so, so worthwhile.

With that in mind, here are six ideas for ways to go abroad that don’t break the bank and aren’t your typical vacation.

1. House swaps

House swapping takes a swipe at one of the biggest travel expenses: accommodations. When I travelled growing up, I always knew that a friend of the family might very well sleep in my bed while I was gone! Some of my best trips have been staying with a family member abroad or staying in their empty house while they were travelling. If you’re interested in a house swap, use your network to let friends know you’re open to a house swap and give an idea of the time frame and locations you’re looking for.

I haven’t let strangers stay in my house before, but there are lots of people who swear by apps like Kindred to find house swaps when you don’t know anyone.

2. Volunteering as a family

My parents worked with nonprofits and churches abroad, so this is the main way I visited new places when I was young. Volunteering for a week isn’t a vacation and it isn’t always glamorous— you might be sleeping in basic accommodations and have limited free time for excursions. You’re there to serve. But you get to be part of something, you meet people, and you learn about a dimension of your host destination.

I know another family with four kids who built a relationship with a nonprofit in Uganda. They went to serve for a week one summer, and loved it so much that they went back the following year for two weeks. They kept extending their trip each year until they were going for the whole summer, and their kids built a lifetime of memories and friendships there. Their kids continued going into their college years and twenties, even bringing friends with them.

While there are some places that offer structured volunteer opportunities for families, many of these trips are unstructured and aren’t advertised. If you belong to a faith community, check if your place of worship has partnerships with any organizations abroad and upcoming service trips (or if you can help plan one!). You can also reach out to an organization independently, ask about their needs, and plan a trip for just your family or a handful of families.

3. Pet-sitting or other exchanges

A few months ago, I went down a rabbit hole of browsing Workaway. Basically, they’re a website matching visitors with cultural hosts who have some kind of a need and provide accommodation for free. Typical exchanges include house-sitting, pet-sitting, helping with DIY/odd jobs, or babysitting the host’s kids. You can farm-sit while a family goes on vacation or help with the olive harvest on a Spanish finca. Hosts sometimes cook for you, and there’s usually a component of cultural exchange, so it isn’t just transactional.

I haven’t done this, but I 100% see the appeal. And while this was likely designed for twentysomethings travelling and needing a free place to stay, you can search by hosts open to families. Again, it’s a way to cut out the cost of accommodations and find a more authentic, unusual travel experience.

4. Take a sabbatical

Time off is a huge challenge for most American working parents, especially because so much time gets eaten up by kid sick days and school closures. To combat this, you can either: A) Align your trips with your kids’ calendars, or B) Ask for a sabbatical.

My children attended a Jewish daycare for several years, which meant we had a stretch of two to three weeks in the fall with extended closures for the Jewish holidays. One of us would have had to take time off anyway, so we planned a two-week family trip to Sweden and Spain. It was cheaper and less crowded because it was the shoulder season, and we had a fantastic time.

For option B, most American employers don’t have a sabbatical in their employee handbook. But they typically do have an unpaid leave that can be applied at their discretion for medical or family reasons. If your kids are approaching college, this might be your last chance for an extended trip as a family.

If you have been with your employer for a few years and have a good track record, go ahead and ask. Put forward ideas to cover your work and propose a time that’s not in their peak busy season. The worst you’ll hear is no.

5. Work remotely abroad (for a time)

Here’s another idea to combat the vacation issue: take your work with you. For those of you with the privilege to work remotely, consider taking a few weeks in the summer and working abroad. Rent an Airbnb, work from there or a nearby café, and explore on the evenings and weekends!

Of course, in the scenario where both parents are trying to work, the biggest challenge becomes childcare. Where would you find a babysitter in a place where you know no one? A few solutions:

• Enroll your kid in a local camp. Camps in the U.S. are expensive— In Indianapolis, it would have cost about $1,000 a week or $4,000 a month to put my three kids in day camps or hire a summer nanny. Local camps abroad are often cheaper, plus it gives them a cultural experience. If your kids don’t already speak the local language, check out English-speaking international schools or language schools for camps.

• Enroll in a cohort. There are some cohorts like Boundless that run all this for you: housing, childcare, a coworking space, even excursions with other families— done! Just keep in mind that the price tag runs pretty high for these programs.

• Take a babysitter with you: I know some families who have taken trusted babysitters or even a grandparent with them; just keep in mind that you should pay for their travel expenses in addition to their regular pay.

6. Take a 1:1 trip

One idea for making family travel more affordable and easier to schedule is surprisingly simple: Not everyone goes. Consider choosing a milestone birthday (eg. 10 or 12) and taking one kid with one parent for a special trip and memories that will last a lifetime.

Tips for a successful family experience abroad

Finally, here’s my criteria for what a high-quality trip abroad with kids looks like (yours may be different, and that’s fine!):

1. Home base: I want multiple days in one place, if not the entire trip. Moving hotels with kids always takes 1,000% longer than I think it will. Choose a home base that you can take day trips from.

2. Minimum time block: Give yourself a minimum of 7 days’ time (or for further destinations, 10 days). By the time you factor in travel days, jet lag, and the sunken cost of tickets, going for less doesn’t make sense. Just take the few extra days off.

3. Local connections: Ideally, I like to have a friend, family member, or host. This makes such a difference in getting a local perspective and recommendations on the area (and sometimes a free place to stay!) If you don’t have one, there are ways to seek local connections out.

4. Collaborative planning: Now that my kids are older, I want to involve them in planning so they feel like they have a stake. While I know I would be happy going to art museums or browsing quaint shops every day, my kids would be miserable and then we’d all be miserable.

5. Unstructured time: I love to research things to do in a place, but I don’t like too rigid of a plan. I might pre-book an attraction that’s likely to sell out, but otherwise I leave our itinerary flexible. This lets me 1) Plan around weather; 2) Incorporate any local recommendations or discoveries I find when I get there; and 3) Allow time to wander. Many of our best days travelling as a family have been when we’ve spent lazy hours at a park or beach, or simply spent a few hours exploring a town without an agenda. This also helps to plan around everyone’s capacity— there’s nothing worse than rushing away from a place you’re enjoying because you’ve pre-booked $100 tickets to something else, or risking tired kids melting down in public.

What else would you add?