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Elton Reads A Book A Week

A random book, a different subject, Elton wades into each one sharing the best of what he discovers, and uncovers in each volume. Ludicrously sardonic, dark, funny, irreverent, and witty, the subjects range from UFOs, time travel, and the science behind "evil", to the lives of rock stars, and Hollywood. There's never a dull moment! It's time to enter this endless library, and see where it takes you...

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"Hell Lemons!" - 'Christine' by Stephen King [[CERTIFIED GREATEST HIT!]]

We’re cracking open the Elton Reads A Book A Week vault to bring back one of our all-time greatest hits! If you missed the ride the first time, or just need a refresher on the most sentient murder machine in literature, this episode is for you. We’re revisiting Stephen King’s supernatural horror darling, Christine . Join us as we explore the 1978 terror of Libertyville, Pennsylvania, where high…

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The Dead Move, In Barbados - "Sex Work Is All About Location, Location, Location..."

In a locked crypt, sealed with heavy marble and solid stone, the impossible happens: the dead move. Join Elton as he uncovers one of history’s most chilling, unexplained phenomena: the Chase Family Crypt. What force could toss massive lead caskets around a room no living soul could enter? In this episode, Elton dives deep into a locked-room enigma that has stumped skeptics and believers for two…

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The Devil’s Butthole: A Deep Dive into the History of Nothing - SHORT-ISODE!

In this episode, Elton dives into the number zero—the only digit that can both balance your checkbook and give a medieval bishop a panic attack. We explore how "nothing" went from being a terrifying demonic void to the "personal computing" revolution of the 13th century and, eventually, the literal foundation of our universe. GET THE BOOK: ⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠ ⁠From Amazon⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠…

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"Mount Vernon! Der-der-der-der!" The Man Who Would Not Be Washington by Jonathan Horn

Is Robert E. Lee the "gallant Christian knight" of your 4th-grade history textbook, or just a guy who bet his life on the side that kept him lazy and wealthy? In this episode of Elton Reads A Book A Week , we’re dissecting Jonathan Horn’s The Man Who Would Not Be Washington . We’re taking a sledgehammer to the "Lost Cause" myth—that strange, deeply insecure fan-fiction Southern apologists wrote to…

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The Merchant of Death, and his Wonderful World of Prizes - Short-isode

"Under the watchful eyes of Bob's Stratos and Apollo..." How do you go from being dubbed "the merchant of death" to the patron saint of human achievement? In this episode of Elton Reads A Book A Week , I explore the paradoxical life of Alfred Nobel—the man who invented dynamite and then panic-bought his way into history's good graces with a massive pile of prize money. We’re diving deep into the…

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"Let's Tattoo Mars!" The Unhinged History of Cosmic Chat: From Martian Lasers to the Dark Forest Theory - Short-isode

Are we alone? In this short-isode, Elton traces the bizarre, hilarious, and occasionally unhinged history of humanity's quest for alien communication . From Frank Drake’s Equation in 1961, a mathematical roadmap for the search for extraterrestrial intelligence (SETI) , to the times before radio, when our ideas were pure fantasy: he dives into the wild ideas and scams. Like, the 19th-century scheme…

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“Captain’s Handy How Are Ya” - 'Heat 2' by Michael Mann & Meg Gardiner

Get ready to dive back into the neon-soaked streets of L.A. and beyond! In this episode of Elton Reads A Book A Week , Elton takes on the ambitious crime epic Heat 2 —the novel that somehow manages to be both a prequel and a sequel to Michael Mann’s legendary 1995 film. Ever wondered what made Neil McCauley so cold or how Vincent Hanna became a "hyper-caffeinated" detective with a failing personal…

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[PATREON PREVIEW] "Internet Riot Master"

[A PREVIEW EPISODE OF THE PATREON EXCLUSIVE PODCAST "Internet Riot Master"] Join me as I venture into a story of online instigation, riotous nonsense, and a lot of lifting of things. Yeah, it doesn't make a lot of sense, but what written by A.I. does? My wife gave me the gift of an A.I. book written for me? Or about me? By me? I'm not really sure, but that doesn't mean I'm not going to read it…

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Short-isode: "Dumb Myths About Sleep"

Do you ever feel like you’re doing everything "right" for your sleep, yet you’re still waking up exhausted? We spend a third of our lives unconscious, but most of what we think we know about those hours is a mix of old wives' tales and misunderstood science. In this episode, we’re peeling back the covers on the most persistent sleep myths that are sabotaging your rest. We start with the big one:…

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Short-isode: State's Nicknames (“You just caught a palm strike to yo baby batter bag, bitch!”)

So, this week I decided to take a break from the heavy lifting of a full novel to look at something equally weird: why the places we live have such bizarre "official" handles. Honestly, if you actually look into where state nicknames come from, it’s rarely a group of dignified founders sitting around a table. It’s usually just a bunch of 19th-century dudes making fun of each other until someone…

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