Thought questions are intended to inspire introspection, discussion, and debate, less to discover a right answer and more to test an idea’s durability from differing angles. The goal is to provoke thought and refine articulation.
“Thought Questions” are well suited for teachers, educators, youth groups, socials, group discussions, family gatherings, personal improvement, and more.
The short answer is yes.
The short answer is to be wary of any word prefaced by “self,” as previously discussed in “The Lie of Self Care”, “The Lie of Self Love”, or, elsewhere, this short video.
Self-esteem has become quite a familiar term, so embedded in the common tongue, it’s difficult to remember how forcibly it was put there. We’ve become so inculcated to the term, so unquestioning of its supposed benefit, the very notion of it possessing destructive qualities is unfathomable to many.
The push for self-esteem happened over the past several decades, hyperdrived as part of anti-bullying measures. Of course, as all self-hyphenates, the result wasn’t only to steel up someone’s spine, but also narrowing the focus ever more on the self, leading to greater harm in its enforced myopathy.
A prime example is an article from not too long ago, ostensibly on dealing with writer’s block, that terrifying state when all the words at a writer’s fingertips simultaneously run for the hills. Instead of tips and tricks for corralling the errant words home, the article addressed the issue with several steps of self-affirmation and validation.
“Begin with telling yourself, ‘I matter. My writing matters,’” or some similar nonsense was how it went, and there’s no more to write on it because no more reading of the article happened. Even to non-writers, it’s evident the article didn’t deal with writer’s block, but how to feel better about going through it.
Back to self-esteem. The term esteem is generally used to convey the measure of regard, even respect, someone has for someone else, his ideas, his possessions, and the like. To say, self-esteem is a declaration of a person’s high regard for his self. And not this kind of regard either.
If respect is important, then have respect for all, no special category needed. If awareness is important, then have awareness of others and surroundings, of how your self moves about and relates to others, no special category needed. If dignity is important, and it surely is, then why must the self be appended? One who values dignity can apply it to all, specifically leading through example.
Considering the self-centered, narcissistic attitude rampant in the world of late, how are proclamations of self-esteem worthy or helpful at all? Better yet, why do we still pretend they offer more benefit than harm?
Considering the results, it’s not more focus on the self that’s needed but less. Instead of ramping up efforts to increase self-esteem, perhaps a little more humility is in order. To be a self worthy of esteem, begin with finding others, things, ideas to esteem. No self hyphenate needed.
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