how to find your people

This evening, I trudged along to a yoga class I couldn’t cancel. Wrapped up in my puffer jacket, braving the icy British wind, and crouched under a flimsy umbrella I walked in the down pouring rain to the studio. And I’m glad I did.

Something this yoga instructor made us do honestly flipped a switch inside of me.

In my experience, people tend to keep to themselves in gym classes. There we all were on our individual mats, in our own bubbles holding our ‘warrior three balances’ when the instructor tells us to stand in a line and hold hands. Awkwardly we all shuffled around. She had to repeat the command before we actually physically acknowledged each other.

And there we stood in the line, arms out, hand in hand and in a line across the room we all balanced together.

And that simple act of doing a simple movement together brought the most brilliant lightness to the room, and smiles shone on everyone’s faces. The room felt a little lighter. Everyone a little friendlier, more familiar. Our poses, 10x stronger when in union.

I think in the world we live in we lack that communion. I find it myself, as a freelancer, my day-to-day isn’t surrounded by people and community, I spend a lot of my time alone. Seeking communities we can become a part of, of all ages is essential to helping us find meaning and fulfilment in this life. It’s a simple hack to feeling accepted and finding belonging. Trying to scratch out and carve an individual path for ourselves is exhausting work, without a river to source your water and energy from. People to hold you.

So here I thought I’d write a little list of ideas on where and how to find communities around in your area:

communities centred around the arts

• Salsa and bachata dancing (In Valencia I attended social dances weekly and absolutely loved it)

• Céilidh dancing (I recently went to a an event in London- chaotic but so fun!)

• Music groups/bands

• Choirs

• theatre groups (I joined a theatre group when in my Erasmus year in Spain, some of my closest friendships I’ve formed came from that)

• life drawing classes

• pottery/ceramic studios

• film clubs / indie cinema screenings

communities centred around sport

• run clubs (my go-to in London for meeting people, different clubs have different paces and there’s plenty of inclusive, welcoming ones)

• walking groups

• other sport clubs (tennis/cycling/martial arts, netball…)

• gym, yoga, pilates classes (and actually say hi to the people there)

• cold water swimming groups

• meet-up groups on instagram and Facebook (I love the Ordinary Girls Club on instagram)

communities centred around learning

• language exchanges

• book clubs

• public lectures and talks (universities often host open ones)

communities centred around rituals

• volunteering (community gardens, food banks etc.)

• religious and spiritual places

• be a regular at a café

• cultural/heritage community groups

Perhaps find ways to connect to your own roots and heritage or cultures you’re interested in or inspired by. There’s so many communities out there, think small and simple- an activity you want to try, a skill you want to learn, a sport you can do with others and I’m almost certain you’ll find a niche community that can host you. Community can sound like a big word but often it’s found int the simplest of places.

A small final note:

community takes time, it’s not a one of it’s a repeatedly showing up that builds momentum and strength. You need to persist until it’s comfortable. Good things take time and effort, bonds and memories aren’t formed overnight

When I think about it, some of the strongest communities in my life were built by following things I naturally enjoyed and was curious in and then kept showing up:

• Erasmus meet-ups in Paris and Spain

• My theatre group in Spain

• Salsa and bachata nights in Valencia

• Run clubs in London

None of these started as “my community.” They became that over time. But community didn’t just find me, I had to meet her half way.

It takes courage to take the first step, sign up, say the first ‘hello’. But my goodness does the world reward you when you do.

Lots of love,

Eloïse