Text Messages from the Mall Food Court Kiosk Where I Am Trying to Order a Chicago-Style Hot Dog

Howdy! Here’s something I had in McSweeney’s Internet Tendency last week.

I’ve been writing this summer, but sharing here less. My intent is to finish bigger, cooler pieces, and show them off in interesting places.

I likely won’t be publishing here with the frequency I did this spring (2+ times per week) because I’m building the confidence and stamina to work on slightly larger objects. I’ll always send them to you through this channel once they’re ready.

(I’ve started feeling a self-imposed pressure to Make Things for Substack, alongside a horrified you-can’t-just-email-people-drivel perfectionism. The two clash nicely. Hence I have dragged my feet about sending this to you for over a week.)

And now — in honor of National Hot Dog Day, which was actually last Wednesday — this.