Today we’re pulling back the curtain on one of the most powerful—and damaging—forces shaping our sexuality: shame.
Sexual shame isn’t just about feeling embarrassed in the bedroom. It’s a cultural architecture. It’s been handed down through religion, medicine, media, and family systems as a way to regulate bodies, desires, and identities. And even when we think we’ve left those systems behind, shame has a way of living on inside us—quietly shaping how we experience pleasure, intimacy, and even our own worth.
To unpack this, I’m joined by sex educator Erica Smith. Through her work dismantling purity culture and helping people reclaim their erotic selves, Erica has become a leading voice in showing us that shame isn’t a personal failing—it’s a social inheritance we can question, challenge, and ultimately move beyond.
In this episode, we’ll talk about where sexual shame comes from, how it lodges itself in our bodies and relationships, and what it really takes to create a life where pleasure is not just possible, but central. This isn’t just about sex—it’s about freedom, resilience, and the radical act of joy.
00:00 Understanding Sexual Shame
02:52 Sources of Sexual Shame
05:57 The Lingering Effects of Shame
08:54 Shame’s Impact on Relationships
11:56 Communicating About Shame
14:57 Shame and Pleasure
17:55 Historical Context of Sexual Shame
20:57 Shame as a Justice Issue
23:53 Overcoming Shame
26:56 The Role of Education in Healing
30:01 Future of Sexual Shame Awareness
Erica Smith is an award winning sexuality educator and consultant with 25 years of experience. Throughout her career, she has provided comprehensive sex education and advocacy to young women and LGBTQ+ youth in Philadelphia’s juvenile justice system, worked in abortion care, and supported HIV+ and transgender adolescents and their families. In 2019, she developed the Purity Culture Dropout™️ Program to help people learn all of the sex education that they missed growing up in purity culture- sex ed that is accurate, queer inclusive, trauma informed, compassionate, and comprehensive. She has since worked with hundreds of people to help them learn about healthy sexuality after high control religion.
Erica lives in Philadelphia with her partner and house full of rescue animals.
Website: http://www.purityculturedropout.com
Instagram and Threads: @ericasmith.educates
Twitter: @ericasmithsexed
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/erica-smith-sexeducator/
Her book The Purity Culture Recovery Guide: The Shame-Free Sex Ed You Deserve is coming in February 2026. You can preorder it now from Bloomsbury Publications: https://www.bloomsbury.com/us/purity-culture-recovery-guide-9798881858032/
Purity Culture Dropout™ School- a new group program launching later in September 2025
Purity Culture Dropout™ Divorce Support Groups- launching later this fall 2025
Pure White Podcast with Dr. Sara Moslener - https://saramoslener.com/media/
The Reveal Podcast with Elle Chase is produced by Jonathan David at Track Cult and Emma Chasin at Elle Chase
Email: therevealmail@gmail.com
Website: www/ellechase.com/podcast
PR/Media Requests: brian@bsgpr.com
Comments
Nothing yet. Say the first thing.
Sign in to join the conversation.