Okay, Brad...

Hiya readers!

If your algorithm isn’t set to bombard you with alcoholism/addiction news like mine is, you might have missed this headline:

Brad Pitt, previously sober for seven years, is drinking again.

In a recent Esquire interview, Pitt stated:

“… I was sober for seven years. And then I got back off the wagon.” Little laugh. He raises his famous opposing-diacritic eyebrows and holds a finger up: ‘In a more restrained manner. I got overconfident a couple times, went, Yep, nope, not good for me. Not in big quantities.’

‘You can have a glass of wine?’

‘Yeah. Well . . . I can have a few. But I can’t have a lot. I have to be professional about it.’”

His “back off the wagon” phrasing reminds me of this Seinfeld episode….

But back to Brad…

The revelation is a little odd, since he didn’t have to make this announcement. The interviewer wasn’t prying. It was almost as if Brad wanted to share this bit of news because … well, one could speculate. But I’m not a gossip columnist.

And I’m not here to judge Pitt. Maybe he indulged too much for a while, dried out for seven years, and now he can actually drink like a normal person.

Maybe…

That is not my experience. I’m a pickle, and I can never go back to being a cucumber. Honestly, I’m not sure I ever drank normally in the first place, so “normal drinker” was never on the table for me. Luckily, I’m in a good place with my sobriety, so news of Brad now being a “normal drinker” doesn’t affect me more than maybe an eyebrow raise and a shrug.

But I do worry about the alcoholics who have drifted away from recovery meetings. Ones who have forgotten what it was like when they were drinking, and wondering if maybe, like Brad, they too could go back to drinking like a “normal person.”

In Chapter 3, “More About Alcoholism,” Alcoholics Anonymous states:

“The idea that somehow, someday he will control and enjoy his drinking is the great obsession of every abnormal drinker. The persistence of this illusion is astonishing. Many pursue it into the gates of insanity or death.

We learned that we had to fully concede to our innermost selves that we were alcoholics. This is the first step in recovery. The delusion that we are like other people, or presently may be, has to be smashed.”

Brad said he was sober for seven years. And here’s something interesting to note. Seven years is almost exactly when the sober people disappear from my homegroup.

Every month, on the last Wednesday, my homegroup celebrates our members’ sober anniversaries. Typically, there are a bunch of celebrants with lower milestones: 90 days, one year, two years, four years. But after five years, the number of people celebrating drops off, and it’s often a desert until you get to the one or two people with 20 or 30-plus years.

So where are the sober people with 7, 10, or 12 years? Those people tend to drift away from AA meetings, usually because their life has gotten good and full, and they claim they don’t have time to show up to one or two meetings a week. And I’m not saying all those people drank again. I know many people who have many years of sobriety who don’t attend AA meetings who are doing just fine.

BUT I can say that the people with several years of sobriety who relapse and luckily make it back into recovery ALWAYS say their slip started when they drifted away from meetings.

Last week, a woman shared in a meeting: “I know I have another drink in me. I don’t know if I have another recovery.”

And I can relate to that. I know I could pick up a drink again. But can I say confidently that I could stop drinking again?

Fuck no. Getting sober was hard. I’m not going to risk it.

I wish Brad all the best. I hope he’s good. Or if he’s not, I hope he finds his way back, if that’s what he needs. He will always have a seat in a recovery meeting. Just not mine!

The Sober Mom book promotion continues, and I appreciate all the support. Keep the reviews and recommendations coming! I think it’s working! We’re doing it!

Available Wherever Books Are Sold

This weekend, I'm moving my youngest into college in DC. My baby! Gulp! Then, the following week, I'm off to Portland, OR, to visit my friend Cathi and make a guest appearance at her book club. If you’d like me to make a guest appearance at YOUR book club (real requests only; no scammers need apply), please contact me. I’m also targeting rehabilitation centers, so if you have any connections, please let me know.

Also, I’d love to see you in person or virtually at one of my launch events. Check out my current schedule here.

Things are going to be a little hectic this fall, so I apologize in advance if my Substack is a little light. I’ll still do my best to send something once a week, but it’ll be more like updates and less like thoughtful essays. If you’re new here, I invite you to peruse my previously published posts. (Can you tell I love alliteration?)

The post with the most views was actually written by my lovely friend JaneAnn Wormann.

Another favorite is …

Hope to see you online or in-person soon!

Disclaimer: To err is human. Please excuse any typos or grammatical errors. I employ Grammarly, but mistakes happen. In this world of AI, they're my way of keeping things delightfully human.