∙ Paid
Dangerous Reader! I have "a knee.” Do you have a knee? Or, perhaps, like Audrey Hepburn in this photo—My Gawd, look at that smile!—you broke your back riding a horse on location in Mexico?Or maybe you have a neck? Or a shoulder? Or a “growth?” I am especially interested in a growth, aren’t you?
My knee hurts like crazy. How about your knee? Did you buy a brace on Amazon? I did. $26.97. It has a lot of velcro. A LOT OF VELCRO! When I completely fall to pieces, Darling, you can just velcro my carcass back together and take me out square-dancing.
So. What is your ache today? How did you get it? How long have you had it? And how are you going to get rid of it?
Audrey’s husband Mel Ferrer is with her as she arrives back in California in this marvelous Bettmann photo, curtesy of Getty Images.
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