The Garden Report: Careening Pepper Plants

We’re all a little unstable lately, whether it’s our government careening out of control, or satellites careening out of control toward the moon, or a surprising amount of men on TV who have replaced their earring studs with hoop earrings, which feels like they’re careening toward pirate-dom, or the woman who allowed her very small son to push a grocery cart right into the back of my Achilles tendon… there’s just a lot of careening.

And it would appear that my pepper plants are also in careen mode. Or freak mode. Or, what might be the most reasonable explanation, cross-pollination mode.

These are all peppers from the same plant. I grew them from a clearly labeled “mild jalapeño” seed packet. But what in the what? Some look and taste like regular green jalapeños. Some are dark red. Then some are little squatty green burn-your-tongue-off menaces, and then there are little squatty yellow/orange menaces.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m kind of tickled. Part of the joy of gardening is planning everything and then, as the season goes on, thinking, “Oh, that’s not what I expected at all.” It’s like a tiny little microcosm of the mystery of life, and when a pepper plant metaphorically flips you the bird and says, “WATCH WHAT WEIRD THINGS I CAN DO,” it’s actually a little delightful.

Which leads me to the question… do any of you gardeners out there know what happened here? Is this an X-Files mystery plant? Is this common? I’ll just be over here confused, slightly proud, and burning my tongue off with these decidedly not mild jalapeño mutants.