Smell evokes memories faster than any of the other senses. That’s why when people sell a house, they make sure to have cookies baking in the oven. The smell of fresh-baked cookies lures the buyer in by creating an association with positive memories of a childhood home.
The senses are working non-stop, taking in information and storing it in the subconscious. This information stacks up unnoticed and contributes to feelings of nostalgia, like with the smell of fresh-baked cookies, but can also become a contributor to burnout and grief.
In the colder seasons, we tend to stay indoors. Our worlds will once again shift, and each individual has to figure out how to recalibrate their day-to-day. This is also a time when we cling to past seasons. It's during times of transition when burnout and unprocessed grief will sneak up on you.
During the colder months that nudge our moods toward sub-optimal, there are self-observances that help keep burnout at bay and aid calmness. A simple scan of all the senses is the perfect, low-stakes call to action on your journey with burnout and grief.
Sight
Look around you. Select one element in your field of vision to focus on, and break it into smaller parts. For example, if you’re looking at trees, look at the width and height of the tree, the branches, the colors of the leaves, and the individual leaves. If you’re in a city, watch one person as they pass and focus on their shoes until you can’t see the person any longer.
Smell
Identify a scent that is soothing. Allow your brain, psyche, and body to respond to that scent. Where did you go? Flowers, perfumes, and soaps are easily accessible items that can be used for this task. Take a cotton ball, dip it in your favorite scent, put it into a baggie, and when you need sensory self-soothing, smell the cotton ball.
Sound
Stop and listen to all the noises going on around you right now. Let the noises register; sit and watch them arrive leave your conscious thoughts. Listen to a song or instruments that engage the calm in you. There is an entire industry of calming music that is easy to access. But also pick music that excites you, or that maybe you have an emotional connection to. Like before, let the music register, observe how it sits in your mind and body, and let it pass without judgment.
Taste
Identify your favorite flavors or foods. Smell them. Put them in your mouth, and before you swallow, allow your tongue to be aware of the texture, temperature, and flavor. That focus will soothe you, even if only for a moment. Close your eyes when you taste the food, be aware of what you notice when they’re shut, versus when they’re open.
Touch
Keep a piece of fabric around that feels good to you. Silk, cotton, or fleece can be comforting. If you have an animal, cuddle with it, or even touch your own hair to feel its softness or coarseness. Wash your hands in warm water. Wrap yourself in a favorite blanket.
Be on the lookout for unique ways to deal with burnout in the moment. Train your brain to practice being mindful of the inner and outer world. It doesn’t have to be a psychological deep dive to gain more agency over rapid, or subtle, mood shifts. Sometimes there are calming go-to exercises like these that can literally be done at any time.
Edy Nathan, MA, LCSWR, CST, is a therapist and the author of It’s Grief: The Dance of Self-Discovery Through Trauma and Loss.
Thank you for reading Edy’s Substack. This post is public so feel free to share it.
Edy’s private practice focuses on grief, trauma, and sex. Tough conversations people don’t like to have that cause obstacles in creating a life worth living. She is the first clinician to accurately label a term she coined, Sexual Grief, and speaks about those living with symptoms of which are often side-lined due to the ‘trauma’ conversation taking the spotlight. By bringing the ‘grief’ element into focus as it aligns with sexual traumatic events or experiences, this evolutionary project brings insight into the way loss affects the soul and the brain. She uses these insights to breathe new meaning into the lives of those stagnated and hijacked by their developmental losses or trauma. Edy is the author of “It’s Grief: The Dance of Self-Discovery through Trauma and Loss” and the soon-to-be-released, “Sexual Grief: From Loathing, to Liberation, to Love.”
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