BOLT UPRIGHT: Good evening, I’m Bolt Upright and this is Received Opinion!
[Twelve-tone rendering of cerebral hemorrhage. On screen behind UPRIGHT: Two figures, one a blue-haired young woman in a hoodie and jeans with little hearts for eyes, the other a middle-aged white man in a t-shirt, tac vest, and jeans with comic aggravation lines coming out of his head. A thought balloon over the woman’s head shows a nice picture of Democratic Michigan Senate candidate Abdul Al-Sayed; a thought balloon over the man’s head shows a cartoon of the late Ayatollah Khomeini brandishing a scimitar.]
With voters increasingly angry at the ruling Republican Party, and disappointed by traditional Democrats, progressive and even Democratic Socialist candidates are winning big in Democratic primaries. These mostly young and very liberal-to-left candidates are pushing hard for Medicare for All, abolishing ICE, and workers’ rights. Republicans are up in arms and are sometimes joined in their outrage by old-school Democrats, such as the withered husk that is James Carville.
[Slight pause.]
Someone’s having fun with the teleprompter tonight. Looks like we have a Luigi on our staff! Sorry, Jim — looking forward to seeing you and Mary at Hilton Head this weekend.
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