Caen Spree: Incitatus was the moderate choice

Yes, it’s another Caen Spree — click here if you need the premise explained. It’s the short ribs of REBID...

I guess you’ve seem the bit from the Republican South Carolina Senate nomination runoff debate in which the interim U.S. Senator Darline Graham (aka dead Lindsey’s sister) answered, when asked a softball question about Taiwan that you or I could have faked our way through, that she was “not that informed” on foreign policy but did “support the military.” She prefaced this by saying she was going to be “honest” about her inability to answer a simple question about foreign policy, arguably part of the purview of a United States Senator, and then said she was “not a polished politician,” an admission which in the old days was only of political benefit if you could then demonstrate some aptitude to take over the polished politician’s job. Graham came in first in the original primary with the endorsement of President Trump, of whose initial and continuing ignorance of the rudiments of his duties you might be reminded by Graham’s performance; me, I was reminded that Senator Mitch McConnell has been AWOL for ten weeks and no one gives a shit. Caligula had to make his horse a consul to get people to recognize his insanity, but the modern Republican Party is doing at least as good a job of that without having to resort to anthropomorphism...

Also noteworthy is that Graham’s opponent, original primary runner-up Ralph Norman, did not see fit to point out that her answer was insulting to voters and disqualifying. Politico noted that “his allies immediately piled on” but Norman only very gently hinted in a post-debate interview that Graham might not be fit for purpose — almost certainly because he knew that an attack on Graham would be seen as an attack on Trump. In fact he went out of his way in the interview to praise Trump and slur Trump’s former opponents — “[special interests are] dictating the terms and giving [Graham] the political answers, like Biden: Don’t show up, be in a basement. His was because he was senile... It would be horrible if Kamala Harris had won this. [Trump] saved the country, and I really think that. He should go on Rushmore.” If Trump is ever put to paid politically, the psychic break among the many Republican cucks will be something out of George Romero...

My wife has been watching YouTube videos of Eddie Izzard, with whose work I was previously unacquainted. He’s as wonderful as everyone says, but am I the only one to notice that, not only in approach but also in delivery, he’s very like Lenny Bruce? (Complimentary, btw.) In fact, the two comics are so similar that when Bruce portrays the theater manager in his own “Comic at the Palladium” routine I swear he sounds like Izzard —right down to the dodgy British dialect...

I earlier mentioned that racist dipshit Jake Lang had been recruiting “Crusaders” to storm Dearborn, Michigan this week. Lang apparently did bring hundreds of his followers to the library where a city council meeting was being held, but most of them were denied admission and just tantrummed outside while Lang went to the podium and tore up a Koran before being tossed. 22 chuds were arrested. Compare and contrast: liberals who protest their neighbors being kidnapped and murdered by Trump’s Gestapo, and conservatives who protest Muslims being allowed to exist...

If you doubt that a lot of the celebrity resistance types of the past 10 years are just grifters, here’s a headline for you: “Trump to be interviewed by Michael Cohen.” Remember him? Notable line from the story: “At one point under questioning, [Todd] Blanche noted for the courtroom that Cohen had called him a “crying little s–––” on TikTok.” I’m sure there are many reasons why Alex Vindman lost to Angie Nixon in the Democratic Florida Senate primary (a result I happily endorse!) that are beyond my ken, but I would not be shocked if some votes were moved by a growing sense among the Trump opposition that the George Conways, Krassensteins, and Lincoln Projects of our time are not going to get shit done...

I’ll close with my nominee for Most Enraging Prestige Press Sentence of the Week — feel free to propose your own! This is from Axios (naturally!), which has a story about Tubby’s increasingly out-fucking-rageous crypto and other grifts. Their hilariously anodyne headline: “Trump’s profits irk Americans as Dems test anti-corruption message.” Yeah, he’s blatantly violating the Emoluments Clause on a weekly basis — but will the rule of law play in Peoria? Opinions vary!...

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