Acting Interested

I

Simon wondered if he should have changed his name for his first day of acting class. Maybe he should, because a game of Simon Says seemed inevitable. Maybe he shouldn’t, because his real purpose of taking this acting class was to meet people, since he just moved to San Francisco. Having to explain later that he had given a fake name the first day of class might not get things off on the right foot.

There were about 20 ‘acting’ students milling around, all in their mid to late 20s, a few chatting, some standing uncomfortably, while others sought refuge looking at their phones. Simon was relieved that they didn’t look like actual actors, but rather, like himself, semi-cool people looking for fun. Simon fit right in, with his average height and build, short brown hair, and wearing a San Francisco Giants hat, honoring his newly adopted team.

The instructor started the class with a quick round of introductions. One guy tried it in a mob voice, which led to pained applause. Simon played it straight, boring, and forgettable. Afterwards, he realized that he had to up his game.

The first two weeks the instructor observed them and had them do some improv to get a sense of their acting chops. The third week she assigned them to different mini plays to practice for four weeks, and perform, in costume, in the final class.

Simon was assigned a play set in the 14th century, where he was a knight betrothed to a noble but naive lady, who was then poisoned by her servant. The servant pleaded with Simon to protect her, but he turned her in and eventually watched her hang for her crime.

“How fun,” said Claire, “I always imagined playing a princess, like in all the Disney movies.” Claire was a thin blonde from Milwaukee, and Simon felt like he already knew her.

“Maybe for you,” said Gabriella, “but it sure feels like type casting to me. The nobles are both white, and the only Latina in the class gets cast as a servant.” Gabriella wore her tight red dress very well, with some sexy curves and long black curly hair.

“Oh, god, I didn’t think of it like that,” said Claire, “I’m sorry.”

“That’s ok,” Gabriella said, “you didn’t cast us. Besides, I’m from the Mission in San Francisco, so I am used to this kind of stuff.”

“Oh,” Claire said. “But it really isn’t fair. Do you want to switch roles?”

Gabriella took Claire’s hand, and said,”that is really very kind of you, Claire, but no. I think that you are perfectly suited for your role.”

“That was very sweet of you to offer,” Simon said to Claire.

“Hey, maybe I should switch roles with you,” Gabriella said to Simon, “that way I could watch you hang.”

Claire was perplexed, “how would that work?”

“We would be the love interests, and the white guy would have to pick up our shit,” Gabriella explained.

“Oh,” said Claire.

“It would certainly be an interesting twist,” Simon said.

“You think that it would be ‘interesting,’ huh,” Gabriella said. “So you don’t want to switch?”

“It wouldn’t be my first choice,” Simon said, “ I kind of like being a knight.”

“Always dreamed of being a knight in shining armor, eh,” Gabriella said. “Ok, ok, I will be the serving wench. At least I get to poison someone. I do have the most interesting part.”

“I have a feeling you will be good at it,” said Simon.

Gabriella glared at him.

II

“Maybe we should practice that kissing scene again,” said Claire. “We need to really nail it to show that our characters are in love.

They were in Simon’s studio apartment, and had been practicing their mini play for two weeks.

Simon looked past Claire to see Gabriella making a face. Simon said, “well, you’re right, it has to seem natural.” This time, he leaned into practicing the kissing scene. He opened his eyes to see Gabriella making a barfing gesture. He broke off the kiss.

“You guys should get a room,” Gabriella said.

“Does it look that real?” Claire asked. “You know, Simon, our acting is really coming along.”

“Sure has,” Simon said, “this acting class has been more fun than I expected.”

“For me, too,” Claire enthused.

“Can we practice any other parts of this play?” Gabriella asked.

“I guess so,” Claire said. “What scene?”

“Perhaps the poisoning scene?” Gabriella said.

“Do we need to?” Simon asked Gabriella, “you have your lines down cold.”

“Well, maybe she wants to practice the movements on the stage,” Claire said. “It’s an intricate scene.” Claire glanced at her watch. “Oh, god, sorry, I am late for my kick ball game. I gotta go.”

As she was leaving, Claire said, “I think that we really made some great progress today. Simon, thank you so much for hosting.” She gave Simon a long, warm hug. “You have such a lovely apartment. You keep it so nicely.” She then waved, “bye Gabriella,” and left.

“Would you like some tea or coffee,” Simon asked.

“Thank you, tea please,” Gabriella said.

As he was heating the water, Simon asked, “do you think that sometimes you are a little hard on Claire?”

“I might be,” Gabriella admitted, “she is really a nice girl.”

“Absolutely.”

“In fact, she is a really nice girl who seems to really like a guy in her acting class,” Gabriella said.

“You think so?” Simon said.

“Absolutely.”

“Umm, that is the part that she is playing,” Simon said.

“Get real,” Gabriella said, “this is a beginning acting class. We can’t fake it that well.”

“Hmm.”

Gabriella continued, “Simon says, let’s practice the kissing scene again.”

Simon groaned.

“Why not go for it?” Gabriella looked around Simon’s apartment, with sports nick knacks, and posters taped to the wall. “This is obviously a bachelor apartment.”

“Ok, ok,” Simon held up his hands to surrender, “I take your point.”

“So?”

“I don’t know,” Simon said, “I moved to San Francisco for something different.”

“What do you mean?”

“I feel bad about it because Claire is such a nice caring person. I know her type. Actually, back when I lived in Minneapolis, I dated several girls just like her.”

“You want something different?” Gabriella said.

“Exactly.”

“Different how?”

Simon mused, “I need more of a spark. Something a little fiery.”

Gabriella laughed, “fiery can get you burned.”

Simon looked her over, top to bottom. “I bet it can.”

III

“That’s an easy one,” said Jack, Simon’s new friend from their consulting work, as they sat together at their favorite bar ‘The End Up.’

Simon didn’t see how his romantic dilemma was so easy to solve.

Jack explained, “you should go for Claire, because Gabriella is already taken.”

“What,” said Simon, “how do you know that?”

“I know that, because I got her,” Jack said. Jack spread out his 6 foot four inch frame across the bar. He had played linebacker in high school and even some in college. Even his face was chiseled.

“How do you even know her?”

“I met her at the gym, and asked her out for drinks. At first she claimed to just want tea, so I ordered her a Long Island Iced Tea, After a couple of those she loosened up all right,” Jack smiled in triumph.

“What happened then?”

“Not everything, not yet,” Jack said, “I did get to feel her body though. That long curly ramen noodle hair too. All that’s worth a return visit.”

“But, ah, but how do you know it’s the same Gabriella as in my class?” Simon asked.

“Don’t you worry, it is,” Jack said. “She talked about the acting class and some scene where she poisoned some other girl named Claire.”

“Wow, just wow,” Simon said.

“So you liked her too?” Jack said. “Sorry, dude, I didn’t know. Hey, you have known her for weeks, right? Did you ever ask her out?”

“No, no, I didn’t,” admitted Simon. “Things were a little sticky since we were cast in the play with Claire. I’m not used to this kind of stuff.”

Jack grinned, “I guess not. Well, when you meet a hottie like Gabriella, you gotta move fast. Now, don’t fuck it up with Claire.”

IV

Simon had gotten to the acting class party late, so he avoided eye contact with Claire, and got somebody to make room so that he could sit next to Gabriella. They chatted about how fun the class had been, maybe they would take the next acting class together, etc.

“Well, look who’s here, my cast mates,” Claire said as she sidled up to them. She had helped organize the party and had been there since the beginning. “One of whom poisoned me, and my betrothed, who didn’t even stop her.”

“Well, people said that we did a great job and we were very convincing,” said Simon.

“Especially the poisoning part,” said Claire.

‘Ah, but I did turn your murderer in and watch her get hanged,” Simon said.

“That part was less convincing,” Claire said.

“Sorry,” Simon said, and looked away.

“Anyway, some of us are headed out to a reggae dance club. Are you interested,” Claire said to Simon.

“No thanks, Claire, I am pretty beat,” Simon said.

“Have fun, Claire, and thank you so much for organizing this party,” Gabriella said. “Maybe we ‘ll see you in the next class.”

“Maybe, we’ll see,” Claire said. “We should probably work with other people though, you know, to expand our acting range.”

“Of course,” said Simon, and they all waved goodbye.

“Are you sure you’re not interested?” Gabriella asked, “she really is great.”

“I’m sure, and I don’t want to string things out,” Simon said. “The set got distinctly cooler the last few weeks.”

“Damn right.”

“Umm, Gabriella, I want to ask you something,” Simon looked around and some of their acting crew were still hanging out. “But not here. Any interest in ice cream? The Creamery is a mom and pop place a block away from here.”

“Something sweet to finish up the night, giddy up, let’s go.”

After they ordered, peanut butter chocolate for him, cookies and cream in a cone for her, they sat down and looked out the window.

“Oh god, heads down,” as Gabriella scrunched down to the floor. “It’s that asshole that took me out last week.”

Simon looked out to see his work friend Jack walking across the street.

“What happened,” Simon asked.

“He seemed ok at first, but when we got to the bar he kept ordering drinks. I just wanted tea,” Gabriella said. “After he got drunk his hands were all over me. He was like an octopus.”

“Oh, god, that sounds terrible,” Simon said.

“It was. What a pig. Do you want to know the worst part? He texted me later to ask me out again. How clueless is that? He must have thought that that was normal date behavior. It probably was, for him.”

“I am really sorry,” Simón said.

“Thanks. I am so over that macho bullshit,” Gabriella said. “You would never do that, would you?”

“No, I wouldn’t,” Simon said. For better or worse, that was true.

“In fact, I bet you are the kind of guy who asks out a girl he likes for ice cream,” Gabriella said.

“Ah, yes,” Simon admitted, “you have such a spark, I can’t stop thinking about you. But am I the kind of guy you like?”

“You are different than any other guy I have dated,” said Gabriella. “You see, you came from Minnesota to get to San Francisco, but I left the Mission for here because I was looking for something different, too. I want a nice guy, one who isn’t always trying to prove he’s a man.”

“Umm, thanks, I guess,” Simón said.

“Just don’t act like one of those macho jerks,” said Gabriella

“I couldn’t if I tried,” said Simon.

“Probably not,” Gabriella laughed, “your acting still needs some work.”