Hosting a Mothers Blessing

I’m convinced that hosting Mothers Blessings for expectant moms can change the world. I’m not exaggerating- recreating a norm of communal support and blessing for mothers (and not just excitement for babies) has a generational ripple effect. When the mother is cared for, supported, and enters birth and motherhood without fear and loneliness, she is more likely to have a smooth labor and a better postpartum. When the mother is filled up, she is more able to love and care for her children well, which is life changing for them and creates a better experience of motherhood. A mothers blessing is one way to bring this care and support to the forefront and build a web of female community.

I’ve had the privilege to be a part of a good handful of mothers blessings and can honestly say they are one of my favorite things in the world! The idea is to really pamper, bless and encourage the expectant mother into this new season of life (wether it is her 1st or her 5th baby, each one brings a new season), instead of a party more focused around gifts for baby.

(You can still totally do gifts for baby, have a registry and all of that, in fat you can absolutely have a baby shower and a mothers blessing)

A mothers blessing invites the mother to receive (for once) and brings together community around her, showing her she is supported and helping her to feel less alone in what can sometimes feel scary and isolating. It also helps that community to feel a part of her journey, encouraging more commitment from them to be part of her support system. “We’re all in this together” type vibes.

It brings us back to the heart of womanhood, something that many of us feel has been lost- that we are intrinsically communal and thrive when we gather together, that we pass down wisdom through stories and words, and caring for each other as a village uplifts us all. Motherhood, birth and postpartum have long been womens work, often marked by the gathering of generations of women, support from wise elders, celebration, ceremony and deep, nourishing care for the new mom- something that is very far from many womens’ experience of pregnancy, labor, postpartum and motherhood as isolating and unknown.

History & Culture of Mothers Blessings

There have been version of this worldwide and in times long past and I am so convinced it needs to make a full blown comeback and be the norm for every mother, in some way.

The most commonly known and what the recent American resurgence often links back to is the Navajo “Blessingway” or Hózhó. The Blessingway is a two-night ceremony that is used for many major life transitions, like puberty, marriage, or pregnancy. It is a sacred ritual with specific chants and stories intended to restore peace, harmony and invite protection to the mother and child. However, this is very different than any modern mothers blessing practice I have heard of, and isn’t really something to emulate as this is a sacred cultural tradition.

Many indigenous cultures worldwide have practices of preparing the space for birth, cleansing and blessing it and the mother to be.

Across Medieval Europe, various versions of birth girdles were wrapped around pregnant bellies, inlaid and sewed with charms, amulets and prayers to protect the mother and child and ease labor, along with chant and prayer rituals. In ancient Egypt and Mesoamerica, protective amulets and and charms were worn also.

In India, women gather for a vailakappu ceremony to adorn expectant mothers with colorful glass bangles, anoint her with sandalwood and shower her with flower petals, to calm the mothers mind and stimulate baby’s senses.

In Japan, women practice Satogaeri shussan, returning to their ancestral home a few weeks before delivery and allowing elders and relatives to take care of her, providing her rest and emotional security.

In Egypt, southwest Asia, North America, Indonesia, Slavic cultures and I’m sure many others, sacred women’s sanctuaries where generations of women gathered to bleed, birth, and confine after labor were communal and supportive spaces with their own unique rites of passage and blessings, many of which are largely unknown and only hinted at (you know we women like to have our secrets).

There are also tons of post-birth blessings and rituals- in East Africa, new mothers are bathed in the ocean by female elders, in Java mothers are washed with flower petals and other goodies while women chant milk-supply blessings, in Ghana new babies are ceremoniously washed in protective herbal baths. Hawai’i has postpartum lomilomi massages, Mexico has the “closing of the bones” wrapping of the mother, southeast Asia keeps new mothers by a roaring fire for 7 days. In ancient Greece, the family celebrated mother and baby surviving the first 10 days postpartum, and lots of cultures had and still have strict rules about care for postpartum mothers and complete community support for the first month or so.

Many cultures practice or have practiced immeasurable sacred rites, rituals, and blessings through ought pregnancy, birth and postpartum to honor, protect and guide expectant mothers. And yet now we tend to send mom off to her gyno visits, where she is weighed, asked if she feels ok and sent off with a ‘yes thats all normal’ just to return to hospital, uninformed and unsupported, expected to birth with no loving hands, and then quickly bundled off home with not another word except to mark her ‘open for business’ again at the 6 week postpartum check up.

The Modern Mothers Blessings

Modern mothers blessings seems to be something all of their own, which I love. While they draw inspiration from the idea of gathering around mothers and creating more ceremony around such a milestone, it isn’t stolen or appropriated from any particular culture. Instead it seems to stem from the natural urge to gather as women and honor one another, something long lost that we are coming back to.

As such, I don’t personally use the word “Blessingway” (although it does roll of the tongue beautifully) because that very much is a specific, sacred Navajo tradition and that is not what we are doing here.

So all that being said, a blessing can really take so many forms. The goal is that it is suited to the mother and is something that would personally bless her. It can be as simple as a gathering of close friends with a little extra intention, or it can be a longer, more deliberate ceremony created with different interactive elements to honor the mom and encourage community commitment to her and baby wellbeing.

Planning a Mothers Blessing

Planning a mothers blessing can actually be so simple, but there are a few elements that work together to make it a really enjoyable time for everyone involved. Again, you can take or leave whatever parts of this make sense for you or the mother in question.