Mind Meld with Me

Spring Break was last week and I took my mom up to the cabin her dad (my grandpa) built in the 70s. Its on the American River and is so peaceful and beautiful. The Scotchbrush is in bloom, the bright yellow bringing so much life to the grassy road as we drove in. My dad spent the last four years doing all the maintinence for the property and now that he has passed the responsibility of that has passed onto us. I spent the couple of mornings we had up there weed eating the yard, getting a handle on the state of the tools and processes. I started up the old fuel powered weed eater that my grandpa got in the 80s, did about half of the front and realized what a heavy old piece of equipment it was.

I love the nostalgia of the old pull start machine, but getting it started was wild and I don’t imagine it will be easy for others. So we went and got a new battery powered one, a much lighter, much more modern affair that made me a little sad and also happy. I don’t love the letting go of an old tradition, an old useful tool- so it will stay, and be available should anyone want to use it or should batteries prove to be not as convenient as I think they will be. It will also be nice to be able to work with something a little less back breakingly heavy for hours and at a time. We will go back up in a few weeks to replace the water heater and I will weed eat the road which is a little short of a mile.

Something that has been true for me since my dad passed is that I can hear him loud and clear in moments like this, scoffing, making his judgements on my choices. Not in a negative way, just in his way. I know he would not approve of a new weed eater- but I think part of my job is recognizing I am not living for his approval, and that I can care for him and his memory and also do things different than he would.

These are tasks you can hire out if you have the money or don’t have the time, but the process of doing them myself feels like a way to be connected to my dad. It’s also a way to connect to my mom and to the land she loves. My mom did these things with my dad over the last four years. When he would do the road she would drive behind him with water to make sure he stayed hydrated. She wants to do the same for me which feels really sweet.

Once yard work was done we would read, visit some friends up there, I would draw, I even had an afternoon to laze about in the sun. Felt very slow, sweet and like exactly what I needed.

I have been working in oils for the last few years, I studied oil a long time ago, but getting back into it feels like its all brand new. I am using beeswax still, I love the textures, I love how it immediately softens everything I am doing. I also use bristle brushes and they are chunky and hard to control which is a thing I have found fun.

Part of me has no idea what I am doing, and another feels an immediate connection to the way the colors are mixing and layering. There is also a really freeing feeling to painting with more of my body, standing up, using more of motion and movement to have to put down large areas of paint. Whenever I come back to this I am reminded how different it feels from painting on paper at my desk. I have missed working large and it feels good.

When I work on series of work I usually keep a running list of words and writing to help me ground myself. This body of work will be smaller- 5-6 pieces going up to Portland for a show in the side gallery at Stephanie Chefas Gallery alongside another artist’s solo show. I will share more details as time goes on. I have visited Stephanie Chefas a few times for different shows and have admired the space and the artists she shows for awhile. I am thrilled to get to show there, it aligns with so many of my intentions with my art this year, I feel really grateful.

I am still sewing when I have time (which is rare) but it is such a nice way to do something with my hands when I need rest but can’t sit still (all the time).

1. My friend Sadie (Ordinary Thrills on here) made a lettering pattern which is to die for and also a skill I do not possess and I can’t wait to try to do this over the summer- I am envisioning some custom valkyries merch

2. I am someone who always struggles when hot weather comes around, I don’t LOVE dresses, I do like short dresses and skirts- and I just made the seasons skort by Sewn with Grit and it is the absolute perfect hot weather staple. You can dress it up or down and it has pockets and is so quick to sew up (the quick part is very important to me).

My goal at the start of this year was to read more and I have! I am listening to audiobooks more intentionally and reading physical books more, I have already read 30 books so far this year which shocks me. I probably haven’t read 30 books in one year the last 10 years. Another motivator for this is my writing class I am taking from Beth Pickens- writers have to write and writers have to read. So I am reading!

Some rules I created for myself were:

• its ok to have fun, reading doesn’t have to be a lesson or be serious to be beneficial

• Read 20 pages a day- I often read more- but 20 pages feels like a good goal especially for the physical books. I go to bed with the intention of reading them, and I put my phone away to do so. It makes it so that an average book takes me about a week and a half- but usually less because once I start reading, I often read more than 20 pages. I do intentionally go to bed earlier to hit this goal. Taking social media off my phone unfortunately DID help, sorry to say.

• Treating the library like a bookstore- for a long time I requested books from the library and had them delivered to my local branch- and that became how I engaged with getting my books. I love the surprise of a bookstore, the act of discovering something new- so I have started visiting the library with no goal in mind except to look at the books. I have found some great ones that way! I still request books, but only when its ones I can’t find or I really want to read.

• Audiobooks are books! This is an easy one for me, I love audiobooks and I love listening to them while I work and commute. Some people have a block in the way when it comes to this and I would just say thats an accessibility judgement. Not everyone can read physical books- my mom has a hard time with them these days- and audiobooks provide reading but in a more accessible form. Give yourself permission to download libby and read a book

Recent faves that I have read:

• Westward Women by Alice Martin: this is a zombie novel and it is also a mystery- and it is so beautiful. I still don’t know what is making the women in this alternate history itch and become despondent, but I am so invested in the characters and the way the story is unfolding. I love zombies.

• Outlawed by Anna North: a western? An alternate history? A bank heist and a convent? Please. I am all in. This might be my favorite book of 2026 so far. So fun, so human, so beautiful. It was an adventure, a feminist manifesto and such a thoughtful exploration on the development of science and research and womens bodies. Highly recommend.

Up next: Coffin Moon by Kieth Rosson

I hope this inspires you to read more!

Ok I think those are all the things, all the corners and all the updates I have. I did some spring cleaning this weekend, between work, school and family things I barely have time to cook, let alone clean. So carving out some time to empty my closet and get rid of things I no longer wear felt really nice. I even cleaned my bathroom. My house no longer feels like a source of anxiety, who knew.

This month I have a weekend intensive called Down the Rabbit Hole that I am teaching, this is focused on language and story telling linked with your art. It is to help artists find ways to connect more deeply to the work they make through language. People who take this class already have some stories in mind that they are considering and we do a lot of guided writing sessions to get to the heart of those stories before translating them into visuals. This class is April 18th and 19th and you can learn more here.

I am teaching Yellow Brick Road for the first time in two years this May. I taught this class from 2020-2024 and I have wanted to bring it back but time didn’t allow me to. I am making time this year, it is such a rewarding class to teach. This is a five week course centered on building a framework for a deeply personal and rewarding body of work. I would love to have you there. Feel free to message or email me with any questions you have. You can read more about it HERE.