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Dustin Alper - Blog

I’m Dustin Alper, but everyone calls me Dustin for short. My expertise in product and design empowers my unique approach - blending macro vision with micro experience.

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Latest posts

AI Killed the TikTok Star... and Every Job Imaginable

Somewhere between utopia and doom The future has never felt less clear to me than it does right now. I work at a fintech startup, purchased my first home over a year ago, I have a three-year-old, and another on the way. Every time I try to picture what the economy, or the job market, or daily lif...

Moats Don't Work When Bridges Are Free

The prompt that changed my perspective I recently used Perplexity Computer to link my investment accounts together and build a portfolio tracker. Not a landing page. Not a toy. An actual working application that authenticated into multiple brokerages, pulled live holdings, and displayed it in a c...

12 Tips to Get Straight A's

I feel like now is the perfect time to write this column because another year of school is about to begin. Typically, that would make me cringe, but I recently graduated college. I didn’t learn much, but I learned that school is not about learning. It’s simply about getting good grades. So forget...

11 Tips to Improve Your Resume

1. Keep in mind that there is no proper way to write or design a resume. This article might say one thing, and the next article you read might say the opposite. Just do what feels best for you — or do whatever I say. You know you can trust a guy giving resume advice who has never had a full-time ...

5 Questions to Ask a Talk Show Host

If you have ever watched a talk show before, then you’ve probably made the observation that they ask their guests a lot of questions. Personally, I think it’s rude and invasive. So I decided to write a list of questions that I’m going to ask a talk show host once I’m invited to be on their show. ...

If I Were a Musician

If I were a musician, my target audience would be kids. You think I’m joking? I can easily list five reasons why making children’s music is as innovative as sticking a feather in your hat and calling it macaroni. 1. I would sell twice as many concert tickets because parents have to go with their ...

10 Tips to Properly Ride the Elevator

1. Follow the unspoken rules of the elevator. Mainly face forward and be quiet. I don’t mean to scare you, but if you violate these social norms, people might give you weird looks (cue dramatic music). 2. Be courageous — when you’re alone. Fun fact about me, I dance and rap when I’m by myself in ...

If I Were a Cartoon

If I were a cartoon, I would be the main character. Finally, the world would revolve around me. My show would be called, “The Adventures of Dustin Alper: The Columnist”. It would be about my adventures — as a columnist. If I were a cartoon, especially one that goes on adventures, then I must have...

26 Tips to Get the Girl

1. Start a conversation. This is the best way to learn more about her. If you aren’t the social type, then you can stalk her on Facebook. 2. Buy her love. You can get her flowers. Or better yet, buy her chocolate. Chocolate is the key to a woman’s heart. 3. Wink at her. If she winks back, then th...

The Clap

I was going to title this column “Applause”, but that word was copyrighted by Lady Gaga. Apparently she lives for the applause or something like that. So I went with the next best thing, “The Clap”. That doesn’t have any negative connotation, right? Here is how the scale of applause or live feedb...

I’m Not Asking for a Handout

I hate when I’m walking down the street and a random person tries to hand me a flyer. I usually don’t accept the flyers, but some solicitors are too sneaky for me. They will place their flyer perfectly in my hand, where my first reaction is to grab it. That’s easy to avoid though, I just have to ...

#DiningProblems

Problem No. 1: The Decision Before you set the table or get in the car, you have to figure out what you want to eat. This process takes my family at least an hour. I want pizza — dad is not in the mood for pizza. Okay, how about Chinese? Nope, dad had Chinese food yesterday for lunch. Are you kid...

The Boogeyman

Before I get into the meat of the column, I want to make sure we have a mutual understanding on who/what the Boogeyman is. The Boogeyman isn’t some cool-cat that boogies down at the disco every Saturday night. He’s a monster that revels in frightening defenseless children once the sun goes down a...

Names

Hello, my name is Dustin Sam Alper. My first name is somewhat unique. I was the only Dustin in my high school. I guess that makes me more special than I already am, but there are some negatives about being so “special”. For instance, when I introduce myself to people, they usually think I said “J...

Phones

I don’t know about you, but I always do weird stuff when I’m talking on the phone. For instance, I pace back and forth in a room for however long I’m on the phone for. Oh, you do that too? So I’m not as insane as I think I am, haha (nervous laugh). Why do we do that? It’s not like we have to walk...

Milestone Commentary

Based on the fact that I wrote about columns and stairs for my past two columns, you might think I am fascinated with architecture. Well, you’re right. So sticking with that theme I’m going to talk about different types of stones: milestones. It all started when I was an infant. Everyone would sp...

Stairs

Have you ever had a class that was not located on the first floor? Do you live in a house that is two stories tall? If your answer is yes to at least one of these questions then you have probably taken the stairs before. If your answer is no, don’t be ashamed, I know a lot of people who aren’t fa...

The Columnist

When my kindergarten teacher asked, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” my friends would say, “An astronaut!” “A firefighter!” Well I wanted to be a columnist. As I grew older, my dream became more of a reality. I traveled to the Roman Colosseum to study their world-famous columns. Some pe...