I took my 7yr old to see Harry Styles...

I took my child to see Harry Styles last week and it was magical. I don’t think I will ever get over sharing this experience with my child. I am only hoping we get to see him on tour again once she is a teenager to make this all twice as wonderful.

Since attending and sharing my experience on Instagram I have received lots of questions about how to make the experience of attending a late night concert work with young children, so here are 10 of the things I learnt with some tips to guide you.

1.Talk about the plan beforehand

Give your child a little heads up about how it will be. Find photos/videos online of the venue and/or event. Talk about the loud music, the crowds, the lights and sounds. Check if there are lasers or fireworks or anything else that is important for you and your child to be aware of (note: there are strobe lights, smoke, lasers and fireworks at Harry Style’s concert).

Helping your child have a small prediction of what the night will be like can help calm the nervous excitement and help them feel more grounded on the night when they see it all for real life.

2. Pack sensibly

Check what you are allowed to bring! For Harry Styles we got told only one bag per person, and bags had to be maximum A4 size. We saw a few people get asked to leave their bags and it caused a lot of distress. This is never necessary, but especially when you have a child.

For our particular concert, it was at peak heatwave temperatures (it hit 37 degrees while we were there). We got told water in plastic or metal bottles would be allowed, but check before you go as I have seen people’s pretty water bottles get thrown in the bin at other venues.

Things I highly recommend: A fan, some snack bars, indispensable tissues (for the toilet) and wipes, a large muslin or thin blanket (in case you need to sit on the floor or it gets cool at night for little shoulders) plus a few little fun extras if you want: glow sticks/glitter/stickers. + a torch.

I knew the stadium would get lit up with Smartphones so I packed torches for my daughter (and me) so she could join in putting on the light without feeling left out for not having a Smartphone. And I joined her so she wouldn’t feel ‘different’. She LOVED this so much, she still talks about how she made the ‘lights dance’ in the stadium.

3. Arrive a little later

Getting there once most people are already seated can reduce the overwhelm of the crowds arriving all at once. Take your time at home, make sure your child eats some dinner to keep them going.

We got there at 7pm knowing Harry wouldn’t go on until 8:15pm. It gave us time to walk around, look at merch, buy a couple of drinks, (all with zero queues) and cool down from the walk before we took a sit. It also gave my 7yr old the experience of walking into Wembley Stadium and seeing it at full capacity in a really grand way.

Don’t worry about ‘missing out’ on some of the opening performer. Remember it is a long night and your child will get tired.

4. Protect their ears

Concerts are LOUD and the music, screams, and singing can feel overwhelming to little ears. Take some ear defenders with you or grab kid friendly Loop earplugs, which is what my child wore all night and she got to choose times when she took them off and had the ‘full’ experience too. They can help your child enjoy the music while drowning out the extra sounds that might lead them to feel overwhelmed.

5. Be sensible about merch

There will be lots of ‘fake stalls’ selling merchandise and lots of official stalls too. If you know you and your child might want to buy something, go online and look what might be available to buy. Talk about it with your child and make the decision that fits with your budget.

When you get there, there will be tons of stalls and people redirecting your attention. If you have made a plan beforehand, it can help you hold the boundary. You may wish to remind your child, “We are going to buy that t-shirt you like. You can look but we won’t buy anything else”. Or if you are happy for them to change their mind, let them make the decision: “I see you found something you like… do you want this or the t-shirt you saw that is the official top? You can choose but I can’t buy both”.

6. Check all exits and toilet locations…

Children’s bladders are smaller than adults, so if they need to go you might need to move fast. Not easy to do when you are at a large concert and need to shuffle past lots of people to get out of aisle! Act like you would on a plane – check where your nearest exit is and where the toilets are.

My 7yr old needed the toilet just before we went home. Knowing where the toilets were made this a lot easier and comfortable (also there was no toilet roll left so the tissues came in handy).

Ask one of the security people where your nearest exit to the tube station is. It might not always be the entrance you came in.

7. Sitting down is allowed

If you are taking a child to a concert or festival, make sure you give them permission to sit down. Your child doesn’t need to dance or scream to be enjoying it. Sitting and watching is still participating. If you are standing, an extra large muslin or small blanket can come in handy to put on the floor and let little legs rest.

My 7yr old enjoyed standing on her chair but when Harry played the piano and sang slower tunes, we sat down together, held hands, and drank in the moment. You don’t have to be bouncing up and down on your feet to be having a great time, or making deep memories.

8. Leave early

If you want to avoid the overwhelm of 80,000 people leaving a big venue with the noise and chaos everyone leaving at once brings, make a plan to leave early.

Ticketmaster shares the ‘set list’ for performers so you can find out when someone is likely to start the show and when it will end. There is often a gap before ‘the encore’ and this might be a good time to make an exit if you wish to.

9. Remember to watch the concert too

It’s easy to spend the whole night monitoring your child’s reactions, watching their joy, and checking on their comfort. Concerts are a luxury and a privilege. You probably spent a reasonable amount of money to go here. Make sure you enjoy it! Sing, dance, show your child how their parent can have a really good time. When you do, it helps your child relax, feel safe, and join in the fun more easily.

10. Treat people with kindness

This last tip is a Harry Styles’ song (and old anthem for the school my child attends too!). But it’s also my little way of passing it forward as my child and I were shown so much kindness at the concert. From adults giving over their neck fans to offering extra cool drinks, and singing and dancing in community with each other… It was glorious and restored my faith in humanity.

If you are taking a child to a concert its likely other parents are doing the same. If you catch another parents’ eye, smile. Say hello. If you see a child is hot and your have an extra fan/water – offer to share it. If you can help another parent and their child feel comfortable, why not?

Going to a big concert like this is a bonding experience for you and your child, and you might find you bond with other parents who are also up for having a good time and supporting each other.

Finally just a small reminder: Whether you stay for the encore or leave early, your child sings and dances non stop or just sits and watches, or whether the night ends with a snack and chat or some tears of tiredness, please remember you did enough. How your child experiences and remembers it is theirs to have. It doesn’t mean you did anything wrong. And if your child is too young, can’t tolerate the sound/lateness of it all (yet), don’t worry. It doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with them. It simply means you may have to wait a few years before you go to a late night concert together.

If you found this useful, restack it for other parents to see and learn too.

Save this for another time you might want to re-read it.

If you have ever attended a concert with your child, share in comments any tips parents might find valuable.

This weeks newsletter is Part 1 on Anxiety. What it is (and it isn’t), how to talk about it, tools to soothe, and tips to guide you in doing the one thing your child needs when Anxiety shows up. Read all about it here.