Walk and Talk: Back to School Tips from a Mom & Pediatrician

_{A quick reminder: This post contains general information and is not intended as medical advice. Additionally, the information shared about kids is generally for healthy, typically developing, and growing, full-term children unless otherwise stated. I am a pediatrician, but interacting with or following this account does not establish a doctor-patient relationship, nor does this information replace the advice of your own doctor.}

Okay, we have a Walk and Talk back-to-school edition today. And this is just kind of my mom and pediatrician tips and tips—tips and tricks. My god! It’s also really early cause it is so freaking hot. It was 115 degrees heat index yesterday. So I am out very early to take Jolene on a walk, cause it was much too hot for her to be outside yesterday. I’m not fully awake; I didn’t even finish one cup of coffee. But back to school.

[Sings] Back to school, prove to dad I am not a fool [Sings]

Anyway, let’s Billy Madison through this!

With back to school, a few things: one, the tracker watches—I love them. I used them for my kid; it made me feel better. Our school district has recently implemented a bell-to-bell smart device restriction. So there are no smart devices allowed on their body at all from bell to bell. So we can no longer do a watch tracker thing. What I might just do is an AirTag in their backpack. We’ll see; I don’t know. I’m gonna have to play around with that.

But some other safety things.

So if you have younger kids—on the way into and from school—we would sing my phone number to get them to learn the phone number. Make sure they know your actual names. We also would practice how to dial a phone number. We set up shortcuts on our phones to teach them how to emergency call our parents. So, they know how to unlock our phones and know the codes. And then we have them swipe all the way over till there’s only one app on the entire screen, and it’s a shortcut to FaceTime the other parent.

Then just reminders of, who do you get the cart with? Who do you not get the car with? Just the basics. And apparently the 90s called, and they want their child predators back, because we got an alert last year of someone driving in a white van offering children candy. I did not know that actually happened in real life. The kid was fine—ran off. The guy has not returned. But I just thought that was so odd when we got that email. Who does that?

It was actually really funny; another mom friend and I were talking to our kids together, and we were like, “Do you get in the car, even if you know someone like her?” And they were like, “Yes!” I was like, “Wait! No, not without me telling you.” This is a bad example because she is always a yes.

But we’re like, okay, guys, so practice: some guy rolls up, and they’re like, “Hey, I need help.” What are you saying? They’re like, “No!” Like, great, good!. Then we’re like, okay. Somebody comes in, and they say, “I have candy. Do you wanna get in the car?” “No!” Really awesome. And I look at my youngest son, and I was like, now what if they come up, and they say, “I have puppies.” And he was just emphatic. “Yes! Yes! Absolutely!

[Neighbor break] Good morning [Neighbor break]

So we had to have a chitchat about, even if there are puppies. But also, bro, same. I felt him so deeply.

Then my last piece of advice, besides the safety stuff, is more of a mom tip, and I guess kind of pediatrician tip. Don’t ask your kid how their day was as soon as they get in the car. Don’t do that. I’m gonna explain why. So when kids are at school, like to us, we’re like, “Oh, you’re at school, not work, it’s so fun!” No, it’s work for them. That is their job right now. And you have to keep it together, follow instructions, be on point all day, take all the tests of this class and this class, get here, and navigate social dynamics maybe for the first time. You also miss your parents, and you have to pee, but you don’t know how to ask to go to the bathroom. Like it’s a lot, right?

So whenever they get in the car, and then just to be inundated again with questions, and still have to be on, is a lot. They’re like, “No.” So give them a minute, right? If as soon as you get done with work and you walk in the door and the kids are like, “Oh my god, I’m so excited to see you! What’s for dinner?” And you’re like, “Jesus, I just got in here! Like, calm down.” That is when kids get in the car after school, okay. So also give them a minute.

So instead, what I say to my kids as soon as they get in is, “I’m so excited to see you. I miss you, and I thought about you all day.” And then I help them get in. I usually bring a snack. Not anything big—one of the jumbo marshmallows or something like that. They’re in, and they’re buckled. Then, as we’re driving home—I’ve done this since they were in preschool—I’m like, “Do you wanna talk or do you want silence?” And they’ll tell me. Then usually my response is the same, because if they want silence, I don’t talk, and if they want to talk, they talk, and I wanna listen. So pretty much, no matter what I ask that question, and then I just shut the fuck up. I don’t ask clarifying questions or anything. I just let them unload their brain.

I do that for two reasons. One, because a lot of times they have things that they’ve been thinking about, and they need to just get them off their head. And the way to shut down a conversation with a kid is to cut off the trajectory they were going by saying, “Oh, who’s that?” And then they lose their train of thought. So then they stop with whatever story they were telling you. And then the other reason is that usually they’re going to tell me what’s most important or what’s on their mind. And that’s what I’m curious about.

So it has worked well for us. Perhaps it will also work well for you. Alright! Jolene pooped at the right time because…

Sayonara!