The number one complaint of couples presenting for couples therapy for the last 50 years has been “communication.” Indeed, it’s the top concern in almost every relationship that is failing to reach its full potential.
However, poor communication isn’t the problem, it’s merely a symptom.
It’s the inevitable result of a dysregulated nervous system.
That’s the truth we tackled in this month’s session of our new online course, The Less Triggered Teachings:
And that has worked zero times in human history.
Seriously. Zero times.
That’s why one of the central ideas in The Road Less Triggered is this:
Love isn’t connecting with others to calm ourselves, it’s calming ourselves to connect with others.
And that’s also why this particular pivot in the Peaceful Pivot Process is so important: When we’re triggered, our body tells us to deal decisively with threats out there, when what we really need is to focus on our feelings in here. Regulating them. Understanding them. Feeling them instead of defending them. So we can respond instead of reacting.
In The Road Less Triggered, I focused on expanding our capacity to handle tension. In this Teaching, we supplement that with a focus on reducing tension in our nervous system altogether. Here’s what you’ll take away from the hour:
A metaphor to remember when you’re tempted to change everything around you rather than regulating what’s happening inside you.
A visualization you can carry with you to reverse the tightening that happens around your triggered moments.
A framework for understanding your ideal zone of arousal, somewhere between distressed and depleted.
Six strategies for regulating your nervous system in real time, by teaching your vagus nerve to calm your body.
A guided meditation you can use to continue building your capacity for tension, so you can hold it instead of reacting to it.
Learn how to regulate before you relate.
You’ll literally never regret it.
Paid members, I’d love to continue the conversation from the call with you in the comments.
Free members, you can upgrade below to view the whole replay, join the discussion in the comments, and get access to our next community call/course recording on June 19th.
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