SEIZING JOY WITHIN THE SUFFERING WORLD

Joy does not require us to deny suffering.

We are not being asked to look away from the anguish of the world, minimize another person’s pain, or paste a smile over our own heartbreak. We are practicing the capacity to hold more than one truth:

Life is devastating.
Life is astonishing.
Both are here.

Joy is not an escape from reality. It is one of the ways we remain strong enough to meet reality with love.

Invite everyone to sit comfortably, place both feet on the ground, and gently close or soften their eyes.

Take three slow breaths together.

On the inhale, silently say:

I am willing to receive this life.

On the exhale:

I do not have to carry all of it at once.

Place one hand on the heart and one hand on the belly.

Notice what is difficult today.

Do not fix it.
Do not dramatize it.
Simply acknowledge it.

Now notice one thing that is good.

Perhaps it is the breath entering your body, the presence of another person, the light in the room, or the fact that you made it here.

Allow the difficult thing and the good thing to coexist.

Read these quotations slowly:

“God, today both the beautiful and the terrible are so intensely present.”
—Kate Bowler

“You can’t always be happy. But you can be joyful, anyway.”
—Kate Bowler

“To lead a passionate, full, and delightful life, we must realize we can endure a lot of pain and pleasure.”
—Pema Chödrön

Joy and suffering are not opposites.

The opposite of joy may be numbness—the refusal or inability to feel the full magnitude of being alive.

Real joy has room for grief. It does not ask grief to leave the room before it enters. It sits beside sorrow and says:

I am here too.

Joy is not a reward for finishing our healing. It is nourishment for continuing it.

The Sun and Jupiter in Leo ask us to remember that the world is a stage—and that our most important stage is the small, precious orb of our own life.

We may not be able to control what is happening across the entire world. But we can become responsible for the quality of attention, generosity, creativity, and play we bring to our particular corner of it.

Leo asks:

Where has the light gone out in you?

What makes you feel unmistakably alive?

Where are you waiting for permission to play?

What would it mean to participate wholeheartedly in your own life?

With full effort, how can you focus your attention upon what sparks aliveness, joy, creativity, warmth, and play?

Turn to a partner and complete this sentence:

“When I am most alive, I am…”

Each person shares for one uninterrupted minute.

In your journal, name five free ways you can deliberately bring your attention toward joy.

These must cost nothing and require no one else’s permission.

Examples might include:

• Looking at the sky

• Dancing to one song

• Calling someone you love

• Walking without your phone

• Singing

• Playing with an animal

• Stretching in the sunlight

• Reading a poem aloud

• Making someone laugh

• Savoring your morning drink

• Gardening

• Remembering someone who loved you well

• Complimenting a stranger

• Lying on the floor and breathing

• Listening closely to birdsong

Now circle the one you can practice today.

Joy often arrives through attention rather than acquisition.

Ask yourself:

How much joy is already available that I have been too distracted, hurried, worried, or self-conscious to receive?

Joy is sometimes taken from us by circumstances. But we also need the courage to notice the ways we drain it from ourselves.

Name five ways you leech your own joy.

Possible joy leeches include:

• Doomscrolling

• Comparing yourself with others

• Complaining without taking action

• Rehearsing old injuries

• Rushing

• Perfectionism

• Waiting for everyone else to be happy

• Feeling guilty whenever you feel good

• Overscheduling

• Remaining in draining conversations

• Catastrophizing

• Refusing help

• Believing rest must be earned

• Taking yourself too seriously

• Treating pleasure as frivolous

• Looking for what is wrong when something is going well

Place a star beside the joy leech that costs you the most.

Complete these sentences:

This habit promises to protect me from…

But it actually costs me…

One way I will interrupt it is…

Make a list of the smallest things you do during an ordinary day that could raise your joy if you gave them your full attention.

Do not search for spectacular experiences. Look for the nearly invisible moments.

Consider:

• Waking beneath warm covers

• Feeling water on your face

• Brushing your hair

• Drinking the first sip of coffee or tea

• Hearing someone you love moving through the house

• Opening a curtain

• Watching steam rise

• Applying lotion

• Choosing what to wear

• Smelling soap

• Taking the first bite of food

• Receiving a text

• Hearing a familiar voice

• Laughing unexpectedly

• Walking from one room to another

• Stepping outside

• Feeling air on your skin

• Seeing a plant growing

• Washing a dish

• Folding something warm

• Turning off a light

• Getting into bed

Write for three uninterrupted minutes:

The tiny moments I am no longer willing to miss are…

Then choose one routine activity that will become your joy bell this week.

Each time you do it, stop for ten seconds and receive the experience completely.

Reflect privately:

Were you taught that joy had to be earned through good behavior, hard work, beauty, achievement, obedience, usefulness, sacrifice, or pleasing others?

Were you taught:

• Do not get too excited.

• Something bad will happen.

• Other people have it worse.

• Stop showing off.

• Be serious.

• Work comes before play.

• Do not be selfish.

• Happiness never lasts.

• You can celebrate when everything is finished.

• Your joy makes other people uncomfortable.

Write down the messages you received.

Now ask:

Whose voice do I hear when I begin to feel “too” happy?

What did joy threaten in my family or culture?

What might become possible if joy no longer had to be deserved?

Complete this sentence:

“I was taught that joy was conditional upon…”

Then write:

“What I choose to believe now is…”

Rate your current capacity for joy from 1 to 10.

It is not okay for me to be joyful when the world is suffering.

I permit moments of joy, but I often become anxious, guilty, or suspicious when they last.

Full, unbridled joy is my birthright, and my joy strengthens my capacity to serve life.

Write down your number without judging it.

Now reflect:

What happens inside me when life becomes very good?

Do I relax into it?

Or do I brace for loss, search for a problem, pick a fight, minimize the moment, or become busy?

What would moving up by one point look like?

Not from 4 to 10.
From 4 to 5.

Name one behavior that represents your next level:

• Letting a compliment land

• Celebrating before the next task

• Sharing good news without apologizing

• Taking an afternoon off

• Laughing loudly

• Wearing something playful

• Accepting help

• Dancing without performing

• Saying yes to pleasure

• Allowing a good moment to remain uncomplicated

Complete:

“I can safely allow this much more joy…”

Name three people in your life who raise your joy meter.

These are people whose presence helps you become lighter, freer, more playful, more courageous, or more fully yourself.

Beside each name, write exactly what that person does that nourishes your joy.

Do they:

• Laugh easily?

• Delight in you?

• Encourage your creativity?

• Help you take yourself less seriously?

• Notice beauty?

• Make room for your feelings?

• Invite adventure?

• Celebrate your successes?

• Remind you of your goodness?

Make a commitment to thank all three people today.

Your message can be simple:

“I was thinking today about the people who increase my joy. You are one of them. Thank you for the particular light you bring into my life.”

Do not wait until people are gone to tell them how much life they gave you.

Place both feet on the floor.

Bring to mind something that is genuinely difficult in your life or in the world.

Silently say:

This suffering is real.

Take a breath.

Now bring to mind something beautiful, funny, tender, or alive.

Silently say:

This joy is also real.

Take another breath.

Imagine making room in your heart for both realities.

Neither cancels the other.

Repeat together:

I do not betray suffering by experiencing joy.

I do not need a perfect world to love this world.

My joy is not denial.

My joy is a source of strength.

I will notice what is beautiful.

I will protect what is alive.

I will bring more play to the small orb of my life.

Please share with me when you use this workshop with friends or family

We all can use more JOY love jen