It’s the happiest time of the year…or is it?

Feeling the pressure to ring-a-ling your jingle bells? To fa la la la la through the halls? To have the happy happiest time of the year?

Well, don’t stress yourself. Sometimes the end of the year is shit. Sometimes you’re overwhelmed or exhausted or running on fumes. That’s fine. Give yourself permission to be unhappy.

And if you’re happy? More power to ya.

Where am I in all of this? Every day my emotional pendulum swings wildly from all-consuming gratitude to aching grief to mischievous joy to what the f is going on. And I’m cool with that.

In 8 days, we reach the winter solstice, the darkest point before light returns. In two months, the Year of the Snake gives way to the Year of the Horse. And tomorrow morning, I’m walking thirteen miles in the Palm Beach Marathon.

Not running. Walking.

This walk is a purge for me. An integration. A calibration. A crossing over.

I recently went to my acupuncturist for my monthly appointment. Turns out I had all this congestion in my abdomen. She explained I was experiencing what Chinese medicine calls Shao Yang imbalance, the pivot point between external stress and internal balance.

When the pivot gets stuck, you feel it everywhere: mood swings, irritability, feeling pulled in opposite directions. Restless. Like you’re shedding an old identity but not yet ready to step into the new one.

Spiritually, Shao Yang shows up when you’re in transition. When you’re letting go of old patterns. When you’re trying to move forward but something keeps blocking you. When you’re out of alignment with your authentic direction.

Yeah. That tracks.

I’ve spent this year, honestly the last six years, doing the work. Therapy, plant medicine journeys, somatic healing, acupuncture, meditation, creativity, writing two books. Thousands of hours of dedicated practice. Building a life I love. A house I own. Work that matters. Peace I earned.

And now my body is asking: what needs to go so something new can emerge?

I guess I’ve got thirteen miles to work it out.

In tarot, thirteen is the Death card. Not literal death, but necessary ending before rebirth. Transformation. The thing that has to die so the new thing can be born.

I’m not running those thirteen miles. I’m walking them.

There’s something about walking that feels right for this moment. Steady. Grounded. Sustainable. Not forcing, not pushing through, not performing endurance. Just moving forward at a human pace, one foot in front of the other, for as long as it takes.

So tomorrow morning, I’ll walk. Through the portal, toward the solstice, in the final weeks of Snake year, while my body does its shedding, while the pivot completes itself.

Maybe you don’t need thirteen miles like I do. Maybe your pivot looks like saying no to one thing this week. Maybe it’s giving yourself permission to feel like shit during “the most wonderful time of the year.” Maybe it’s letting your emotional pendulum swing wildly and celebrating that you are alive to feel it!

The Snake sheds to grow. The solstice darkness comes before the light returns. The pivot completes itself when we stop forcing and start moving at a human pace.

Whatever you’re shedding, whatever’s stuck in your Shao Yang, you don’t have to perform your way through it. Just keep moving. One foot in front of the other. At whatever pace feels sustainable.

See you on the other side.

I’m Dr. Gabby and I write really good books, teach transformative classes and organize fancy retreats. Learn more about me at gabriellepelicci.com.